I Won't Give Her What She Wants

It was just the three of us… me, my girl and her friend
We played love songs that made us cry when they would end

Then her friend decided to go
“My husband and I never sing
So I can’t stay just to cry alone”
But my girl said,"At least you have a ring"

I wondered why we were able to be so free
And yet I couldn’t bring myself to fall to one knee

It’s the knowing that I can leave
That eases my worried mind
It’s the knowing that she’ll wait
That makes me treat her so unkind

She looked at me with her heart bleeding rivers of when?
I told her it worked for us because I’m not like other men

But she did not like that answer
And her hurt tore me up inside
I couldn’t’ think about tomorrow
But she had to think about female pride

I hate the way the world works with all the rules
It seems everyone repeats the mistakes of fools

“My mother is ready for me to get married
My friends have their rings for all to see
You don’t understand what it’s like to be the last one
To have a man show everyone his love for me”

I was thinking she had her rights and was truly free
But my love bound her with the shame I could not see

So what should I do my love to ease your pain?
Am I with your mother or am I with you?
That is not what our love is all about
The moment we change our love will too

Is it time for you to move on and find someone to come home to?
Yesterday will make us cry because we will long for the days we once knew

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Comments 5 comments

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Mark - this is so real and heart-wrenching. If it's any consolation, not all women are like that, but it seems especially to 'go-with' the biological-clock time of many women's lives.

Probably female peer-pressure has haunted them since kindergarten & the clarity of their own real feelings gets obscured behind all the stuff so that advantages of waiting till, when or if the real thing mutually arises would be a weird idea, even if it did occur to them. That it might not EVER happen but still that would be far better than just forcing it would seem like the most absurd of ideas. It is difficult to overcome such internal and external pressures. One who has clear inner signals and understand is one with special and rare wisdom and understanding. As a bridal consultant I learned to detect the difference in brides.

Yet proceeding with trying to force themselves or the guys to ignore glaring or subtle red flags (or lack of clear ones) just keeps making for life-altering mistakes over and over, becoming a huge national - maybe international - disaster. Inevitable results of making a bad choice in a mate are to resign to 'quiet lives of desperation', violent lives of anger and disappointment, being doggedly and resentfully faithful &/or cheating on the commitment and living with guilt and dissatisfaction (after all, if one isn't true to him/herself, how much harder to be true to someone else?) -- or, last resort - finally ending it in any of various traumatic ways, which can shatter many other lives in its path.

And yes - mothers too often try to push their daughters into it. And all too often guys are manipulated (sometimes THEIR mothers probably push it, too!) into going ahead even when or before enough honest love and commitment are in it; results are disastrous for all concerned.

Can a marriage be 'built from scratch' when that undeniable deep mutual unconditional love is missing? Perhaps, but not built to the heights of the real thing -- and only attempted out of pressure or desperation - neither being good reasons, in my humble opinion. These days, with the 'rules' less stringent, it's highly unlikely people persist when it's not ideal. No matter how it turns out, - it won't become ideal in that event.

Nor is is necessarily a 'given' that even a good relationship must end in marriage. There are other factors involved in taking that step. The main thing is being really clear and honest with oneself - and the other person. Of all at the decisions and directions a human being faces, it's surely one - if not THE ONE - most crucial.

If the other person can't accept that, a major difference and point of departure is already demonstrating itself. It's unfair to lead him/her on hoping you'll change. It's kinder to gently release yourself and him/her and LIVE. When it is right for both persons, it is clear to both.


Majadez profile image

Majadez 4 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

I loved reading this, particularly because it is very relevant to my age group right now. I agree with Nellieanna's points. I read somewhere that the results of a survey showed that most people regret getting married and having children too early in their lives and/or marrying the wrong person. I don't see what the rush is all about. Most people are still finding themselves in their 20s so it's absurd to think we know what we want in other people or a life partner if we have yet to discover what we want from ourselves.

Social pressure should not be a reason for such a commitment and as long as a relationship works the way it is,there's no reason for changes that bring about uncertainty. That's what I think anyway... Thanks for sharing.  ;)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

wow. I can see your point and I can see hers. this day it is hard to make a commitment.. so scary. I love your poem..

voted up

debbie


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

yeah, i do get her point...so many who are in it even want to get out despite the fact that they have children already...awesome Suburban...


Teylina profile image

Teylina 4 years ago

Not necessarily--last line, I mean. This is all too true, and, unfortunately, I've heard little good memories of it.. Still love the song "we'll walk in the sunshine," so in my opinion, it's something that should be understood and acceptable by both parties from the beginning! How's that gonna happen--except in song? Too real--she's got my vote.

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