I Do Not Want To Be Blunt
We live in a world where being blunt and/or sarcastic are traits often held in higher esteem than being too nice. Honestly when someone tells me I am too nice I have no problem with that as I would never want to be too blunt. There are times when you need to tell people the truth, but the blunt culture just really sort of irritates me. I love the sweet and kind ways of putting things, and I think this has to do a lot with the way I was raised. Occasionally I heard sarcasm growing up, but my mom and teachers always instilled me how much better it was to be empathetic and kind, rather than just make a few sarcastic quips. From time to time I have said something sarcastic, but I can tell you most younger people do not like it when adults do that. Some adults may think it is funny when sarcasm is employed, but when does it cross the line?
Why Be Blunt?
Never got the point of being blunt, but to some of us more sensitive souls those types of comments come across as less than empathetic. Some of us do not fall into the cool or popular boxes that people construct, but making a silly little comments will not change those of us who are deemed "not hip". So you do not like someone who talks to much, but often the people who make blunt comments about those who chatter away are guilty of the same behavior. I just have to chuckle when one social butterfly complains about someone else who blathers on, and usually they like to imply the latter person is just not as "cool" as they are. Really, how is that so? Did you ever stop to consider maybe you are just as guilty as being social awkward from time to time, as we all are, but people are just too intimidated by your sarcastic comments to tell you otherwise?
Being teased as a child sort of opened a lot of these things too my eyes. I saw how certain kids, myself included, were picked on because they did not say certain things, dress a certain way, or act cool. Wearing a purple jean jacket from 1974 in the 80's could get you teased, but this was a really nice item that ended up being stolen when I accidentally put it down. The kids on the playground kept telling me I looked impoverished for wearing it, but when I put it down it disappeared. I wish I had been strong enough in those days to keep it on and I still would have had it. It was a beautiful jacket, and I know my mom was a little upset because it had been hers and I was simply wearing it to school that day. All these years later it would have been consider a trendy piece of vintage clothing too, which is really ironic considering all the verbal abuse I went through over it.
A barrage of blunt and hurtful comments change you forever, and twenty years later I have a crystal clear memory of the things that were said. These kids were very blunt, and I notice some adults use the same techniques. Thus, if someone thinks I come across as too nice, there is a reason for this. Years ago I learned how being sarcastic or blunt can hurt people, and I never want to inflict the same pain on others that I experienced. Actually for the amount of teasing I experienced I think I am very resilient because I had kids do some really horrible things to me.
As an adult do you really want to engage in this type of behavior? Do you find delight in pack mentality where everyone gangs up on one person? It is good to shy away from these techniques and to go with a gentler hand. Our society is bold and fast paced, and how often do people slow down to have a gentler and kinder approach? Are you afraid of being seen as too weak by being too kind? You know you can smoother a jerk with kindness, and it does work!