I am squeezing out that last drop of toothpaste
I know I Can Get Just A Little More
Why waste when you have toothpaste for twenty
All you have to do is squeeze
It may look simple but when you get one more drop
When others stop
You know your good
You should be honored and admired
As crazy as it seems
It is kind of an obsession to drive my mind insane
I can't throw away all that toothpaste
I was brought up never to waste
You paid for it didn't you?
You used it and got your moneys worth
So you thought
Phooey on you
If you don't try
You simply squeeze the living guts out
You can lay it down flat and press
You can hold it in the air or against your chest
You can roll it slow and squeeze the daylights out
But the real secret is
Don't stop until it pops
Because as soon as you rest it disappears right back where it came
Into the little hole with one way in and one way out
You can try it and you can call it crazy
But my tubes of toothpaste are really empty
And nobody can call me lazy
These are the days before the silly pumps
Men were men and squeezed the end
Woman were smarter and watched and waited
Then they would say can I have a little toothpaste please
You could just say there is no more left in this tube dear
But instead you said
I will give it one more try
She knew what kind of man she married
One physicotic toothpaste crazed man with a strange look in his eyes
That feels like the hulk for ten seconds when his eyes turn red and start to bulge
Then returns back to normal after he turns blue
You have made an art form out of squeezing a tube of toothpaste
And I Am Damn Proud Of You !