INSOMNIA,my curse

Long nights,longer days.

ive had Insomnia for as long as I can remember now.At least thirty years of interrupted and uncomfortable sleep.I struggle to remember a night I had a complete sleep without waking up.i go to bed at three thirty each morning,I get up at least three times,then I finally get out of bed at seven am.I feel lethargic and dozy when I wake.Theres no point trying to go back to bed,as I wouldn't fall asleep anyway.I have lost count of the nights I have laid awake staring at my bedroom ceiling,or imagining things moving in the moonlit room I sleep in.my imagination runs riot when I can't sleep.I occassionally get ideas for new writing while awake.I take a notepad, or my iPhone with me to bed,to enable me to scribble down my rantings and ravings while I'm up and awake.Sometimes Insomnia can be a good thing,but very rarely.

insomnia my curse,hurting my eyes

I'm awake each morning to see the sun rise

count the hours go by,the ticking of time

making me feel ill,this pain is all mine.

had it for years,never had a cure

although my motives are totally pure.

tried every trick,potion and ruse

makes me stress out,I snap and accuse.

personality change,from Jekyll to Hyde

pain and torment eternal,I cannot abide.

will I ever sleep sound,in a comfortable sleep

some nights I feel I could genuinely weep.

been to Doctors,hypnotist sand more

all I feel is another slam of a door.

hopefully one day I will sleep like the dead

then insomnia will stop messing with my head.

Come back,PLEASE?

come back sleep,bring back my slumber

help me out,madness has my number.

keeping me prisoner,tormenting my soul

help me to normality,make it your goal.

help me feel normal,no turning at night

sleep like a baby,a wonderfull night.

chase away insomnia,for me ,would you dare

Make me friends with sleep,I hope that you care.

return to normality,at least one night a week

i only ask one night.for a restful sleep.

I'd be a happier man,I'd feel better inside

I'd go about my business,my troubles I'd hide.

sleep like normal folk,I envy them so

i yearn for my slumber,I hope it can be so.



Eludes me.

if sleep hides in the shadows,if it's out of sight

pray to God,it returns that night.

it runs too fast, for me to keep up

i can't see it in the distance,I tend to give up.

It eludes me constantly,theres never a solution

turning emotions upside down,in a revolution.

I manage through the day,but struggle all the time

i wander in a trance,is my mind really mine?

will I ever see the day,will I ever sleep like i should

get up a bit happier,in a better mood.

feel better generally,feel healthier inside,

all I ask is some sleep,elusive friend you still hide.

Treatments!

Over the years I've had many treatments for Insomnia.i was given sleeping tablets many years ago,they had a very strange effect.I took them before going to bed,still never slept.The following day,I walked about in a daze,I couldn't do anything right without dropping things.i think they made me sleepier during the day,when they were supposed to work at night.Not surprising,I gave them up after a few nights of trying.The next thing my Doctor suggested was quiet music on a tape I remember.the music was tranquil indeed,but it had no affect either.The next in the line of solutions was less caffeine before bed.I was advised not to have coffee or tea after six pm at night.Tried this for a few nights,never had a positive effect on me.It only succeeded in making me tired during the day.There have not been any suggestions from my Gp in a while,I wonder if there are any possible cures available anywhere in the world.Im willing to try anything once.

Injection!!

It was suggested many years ago,I get an injection to help me sleep. This kind of worried me,I would be given drugs to basically knock me out for a period of time. I contemplated doing it briefly,but then stopped. What if I took the injection ,and something happened with a member of my family. Would I wake from the induced sleep in a good way,or would I be a drowsy mess.This put me off in a big way.i wouldn't ever be able to forgive myself if I was knocked out so deeply,that I couldn't wake up quickly and compesmentus enough to deal with whatever problem haf arisen. That was enough of a fright to put the idea on the back burner.The hunt goes on for a cure.

Manic confusion,

up,down,pave the floor

help me sleep,my head is sore.

raging torrent, of ideas and thoughts

tired beyond belief,no control over my thoughts.

i try my hardest,to get sleep in some form

doesnt matter if I'm cold,or if im warm

i still don't sleep,I think everything through

a nightly problem,it's nothing new.

tried this and that,potions and pills

all of the magic,none of the thrills.

still no solution to the ever increasing prose

will I ever be cured,no one knows.

Casual Effect.

up down

smile frown

happy sad

crazy but mad

awake or sleep

moody do I weep

all night ,all day

speaking less,must say

tired,sleepy

emotionless,but weepy.

mind running,thoughts a bound

actions stated,not a sound.

cure me or kill me

the general feeling

time has come

life needs to have meaning.


Doctors do try.

Many years ago,Doctors gave me a machine to fit on to my head to try while I slept.They needed to monitor my sleep pattern,and more important if there was a cause for my constantly moving at night.My wife and kids looked at me with trepidation,I looked like something from a mad scientists laboratory.I had lots of wires all over my head,at all the nerve endings.All the places I suppose would pick up signals from my brain to help them get a view of my problem.After the few nights of wiring myself up,i went to the surgery to get my results.There was nothing conclusive on the read outs that would guide them in the direction of a cure.The results were very inconclusive he said. Unfortunately there was nothing he could give me to help the issue.The plot thickens.

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