IT IS, WHAT IT IS...by b. Malin

A TIME TO REFLECT...

Well it's officially Summer Time once again. It's an Exciting time for the young, and the young at heart, and Everyone else in between! We feel Good, we look Good, or certainly passable to the naked eye. We've weathered the Winter, as we looked forward to the Spring, and now the rewards of Summer are upon us. So where have I been for the last few weeks? Not Hubbing, I'm sad to say. Too many obligations got in the way...Some Funny, Some NOT. So here I go again, trying for a Laugh, or a Smile.

Last weekend, Lover Man and I went to a "Bar Mitzvah" (it's like a Confirmation) out on Long Island. The drive was a sheer PUNISHMENT! Especially when we hit the"Belt Parkway" which means driving through "Brooklyn", to get to "Sunrise Highway" to our destination, in Merrick. It had been years since we'd traveled there. OMG, the Traffic, it's so Crowded...and patience was not a Virtue on this lovely Friday afternoon. Lots of 3rd FINGERS, waving in the breeze, out car windows...Along with a few unheavenly words... Ah, God bless America, and the Amendment of the Freedom, to Express ourselves. Of course "God" could have been shaking a Finger of Disapproval as he watched from up above. But of course he's never had to buck LONG ISLAND TRAFFIC. So maybe he just Smiled, and said a silent prayer for the Safety, as well as the Sanity of all of us commuting to our destinations.

We finally arrived at our destination, and wound up eating at a local place, which turned out to be kinda PRICY. So, we settled on the $12. a piece Hamburgers and fries, which really were good, and wound up sharing a $9. mouth watering Hot Fudge Brownie Sunday. A reward for the Trip...Yes, it was my idea, I needed that Chocolate Fix! After that, we drove the car back to the Motel, and wound up taking a nice long walk. I had visions of NOT fitting into my dress the next day. After that we crashed out, and actually got a pretty good nights sleep...Considering that the Long Island Railroad was across the turnpike. But our room was in the back, so all was right with the night!

The next day, we got up early and had our "Free Complimentary Breakfast". Then it was shower time, and get dressed time. Lover Man is a quick dresser, well aren't most men? That's the time I envy Men... A shower, a Shave, and a Suit, and they are GOOD to GO! Oh Please, if you are one of those Women who are also SPEEDY...Well Goody for You! I'm not Slow, I don't take Forever...I just give myself enough time, to get it all together...and Believe it or NOT, arrive on TIME!

Ok, ok, so now we arrive...and we are one of the FIRST ONES THERE. My older Son and his Lady are also coming, and so we wait patiently at the front entrance for them. They arrive a few minutes before the event. The door opens, a light Shines on them...He's Handsome, she looks Beautiful...And she and I are wearing the same BLACK and WHITE PATTERNED DRESS! Even though the Styles are different...We look like that ad, WHO WORE IT BEST! At first I am HORRIFIED, but then we both start LAUGHING, and saying, we both have Great Taste. Later on, a picture is taken of us. It comes out SO Funny...I look like "Minnie Mouse" with LARGE BOOBS, SUPER IMPOSED ON MY CHEST! I sigh, as I reflect to myself..."IT IS, WHAT IT IS"!


Comments 77 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Well I have missed you! I can envision driving in that traffic with my middle finger at permanent salute to all my fellow pissed off human beings. LOL Great hub and as usual you had me laughing. Great to have you back!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

OMG! I can so relate to this. My mother lived in Brooklyn for years. I know all bout the belt parkway. Madness! and that summer LI traffice. the whole world seems to be there and none of them know how to drive!!! As for getting ready. I know one of those speedy girls. I envy her. She always looks fantastic! Me. I need a fair amount of time and look OK. What is up with that?!

LOVE YOUR ATTITUDE!!! Thanks for sharing. Nicely written and Always great to read something I can relate to. :)


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Good to see you back writing. I needed a laugh today. Funny story told in your inimical style. I would not be able to handle all those people. I feel trapped when I go to Nashville and I know all the back roads to get where I want to go without driving in the TRAFFIC. I hate cities and love the small towns. Stay safe up there.


DFiduccia profile image

DFiduccia 4 years ago from Las Vegas

b.Malin,

You do have a flair for humor, and I enjoy reading you— good to have you back.

DF


Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 4 years ago

Very, very funny! Loved it! It sounded like a fun time, u* are sooo adaptable & able to make a good scene even better!

LoL,

Cher


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, funny as always! haha! I can so relate to you too, I always take forever to get ready, then I still forget something! I remember my mum doing the same dress thing when we went on holiday years ago. She was always so particular, and as we were going into the restaurant in the evening, a woman came in the other door at exactly the same time wearing exactly the same dress! my mum, bless her, couldn't bear it and ran out and got changed! If that was me I would have just laughed too! lol! glad to see you back! cheers nell


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Your hub struck me as funny as well. Long Island is very bad for traffic my in-laws live their.

Voted up funny and interesting, Joyce.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

OMG, Just the thought of driving in NY scares the H out of me.I laughed thinking about God smiling..Hee. I can remember when we girls loved to dress alike, how times have changed. Happy you are home to fill us all in on your fun adventures...Cheers


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Billy, I'm so Glad to be back. Yes, those middle Fingers were waving...Maybe it's the American Way when traveling to L.I...Only Kidding L.I. I'm so glad you got a Laugh or two!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Dana T, thanks for relating and your Fun Comments. Those Speedy Girls make me SICK! Really, how they do that?...Mmmm...and yes, they look Good! But maybe, just maybe, they LIE! Ah, What's Really Up with Them!

Thanks for Enjoying and Relating!


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

OH NO SO FUNNY!!! You are so cute.. Love your hub.. and the way you describe it.. I loved it

Blessings

Debbie


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Becky, I know, I know...Traffic on L.I. is Mind Boggling! We wish we did know some "Backroads"...Our GPS was trying, but I don't TRUST that one at all! Well we're home once again, Safe and Sane! So Glad I made you Laugh!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Thank you for taking me back to my old stomping grounds! A blast from the past. I don't remember all that traffic back in the day, but either way I don't miss the place.

Now on to the dress. My daughter was married last May. The grooms mom, myself, my other son-in-laws mother and my daughters stepmom ALL wore dresses in black & white or white & black. We all knew it ahead of time and none of us clashed...we all worked our dresses in our own way!

Excellent hub! Thanks for the laughs!!:)


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi DFiduccia, I try, but "Life" give us the Material to make others Laugh...Thanks, I'm Glad to be back.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Thanks Cheryl, it was quite the Trip, and a True Test of our Sanity...For after the Party, we still had to do that TRIP once again! Ouch!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Nell, I was a Long way from Home...So, I smiled, and made the Best of it. It really was quite Funny...and My Son's Lady is a Doll, and thought we both had Great Taste...which we did! I'm so happy to be back, Missed you guys, we are Family too!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Writer20, and your In-laws live there...Mmm, do I dare Comment...All in Good Fun, I'm sure, they must Always appreciate the visit. Thanks Joyce, for Enjoying my Humor, and of course your Vote!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Ruby, Lover Man and I actually share the Driving...Although to be Honest, he wanted to be the Driver First...I got to help with the Driving Home. I used to have a Friend who always bought the SAME outfits that I would shop for. It was Weird...we were in our early Forties at the time! Hey, Cheers back to you too!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Deborah, Why Thank You Twice, make that Three times...I am Flattered and Blushing from those Wonderful Comments!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

You know Sunshine, I too grew up on L.I. till the 8th grade, and also don't remember that kind of Traffic...TIMES have Changed. I don't miss LI. either.

On the Dresses, we didn't "Clash" because both styles were different, but like I said, I felt like those pictures of who wore it Best. My Son was Cute, he thought we both looked Beautiful. Aw! Thanks so much for Enjoying, and the Compliment, of Excellent, and your Laughter!


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

My mom's headed for Long Island tomorrow morning, via the Belt Parkway. Glad I'm not going, sort of. I hate the drive! On the other hand, I haven't seen my relatives out there for a while, and I wish I could go. I'll have to wait. Attire is casual...no similar dresses. Only shorts, tanks, and maybe jeans. No special occasion.

I enjoyed taking this adventure with you.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Thank you for sharing this funny story with us. Let me pull the car over so I can laugh :))


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Thanks b., I sure needed the smile today. What bravery from you with , the turnpike, the arm waving salutes and to $12.00 a piece hamburgers, all for the sack of bringing all of us a smile.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 4 years ago from South Carolina

Great hub and I could so relate to the Long Island traffic part as my husband grew up in Valley Stream and still has relatives on the island. It's a beautiful area but hubby says they used to call the expressway the largest parking lot in the world, especially at rush hour times and summer weekends. And of course, traffic's heavier than ever now!

Glad you arrived at your destination with your well-being and sanity intact. (LOL)

Also glad that you had the additional bonus of spending time with your son and his Lady and that you and his Lady were able to react with humor at the dress situation. Hmmm...perhaps the two of you have a lot in common in terms of taste, style and humor?

Thanks for making me laugh and getting me in the mood for summer with an entertaining tale.

Voted up across the board.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Sally, I wish your Mom a Happy, Safe and Sane trip! Seeing Relatives is Fun, and Casual dress, is the Best. We may not get out there again for at least another 6 years, until the next Big Event...Although, I heard my Cousins Sons (both of them) are Engaged...Maybe they'll have a Double Wedding! I WISH! So Glad you Enjoyed my Hub!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Mhatter99, The L.I. Traffic is NOT to be Believed and yet, we forget, and do it, again, and hopefully Not Again, for a few more years! I'm so Glad you had a good Laugh


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Mckbird, and may I add, there are 2 Bridges, one is $12. and the other is $13...They get you, and then the Traffic...I'm so glad I gave you that SMILE!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

WOW the tolls have gone up for the bridges! I remember them being $5.00.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Gail, I just Loved your Comments...Especially the one about my Son's Lady. Actually my Son said, "You Both Look Beautiful"...Mmm, did I raise him RIGHT or What!

Lover Man, laughed when I read him the line about the L.I. Expressway being the Largest Parking Lot in the World. Your Man is SO RIGHT!

Thanks so much for Enjoying, and of course your Votes!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Thanks for the laugh. However, my sincere condolences for having to make the awful trip on the Belt Parkway. Did it take you 3 days to get home!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Sunshine, yes, those Bridges are NOW $12 & $13...we too remember them as $6...and of course we spent a few dollars just to leave NJ...plus the Gas, the Motel (for one night) the Dinner, and of course the Money Gift...Pretty Expensive Trip! But hey, it's FAMILY...


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Breakfastpops, we shared the driving coming home...so it wasn't as BAD as going, maybe because it was Late Saturday night. We actually made it home in 4 hours! Hooray! You're Welcome for the Laugh!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

b. Marlin, your beautiful style of writing enabled me to 'see' everything - so enjoyable! But now I am curious; I would have loved to see that picture of you and your son's lady.

A friend of mine, who had herself 'enlarged' from AA to C complained the other day that she misses her 'was-what-it-was' tremendously. So I say enjoy your 'are-what-they-are' :}

There is a particular lady at my work who is obviously most of the time in the same mood as I, choosing the same colors for the day. I don't choose colors per se, my eyes simply favor a specific color that happens to reveal my mood.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Martie, I thought of putting the picture on with my Hub...But it came out so STRANGE...I look like my Bust is Very BIG...and it's Not like that. I mean I'm ok, I'm in proportion with my figure. But maybe because it was taken on my Son's cell phone on an angle, it came out that way.

Anyway, I Enjoyed your Comments and Thanks so much for the Compliments.


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

b Malin, always worth the visit:) This beautiful Saturday morning and your article makes the world a better place in my book. I take a look at your title and I am already smiling:) I always smile all the way through. I always tell my wife, "you having a bad day, read this column." We are both big fans. I traveled that way about 8 years ago and traffic was awful. And it is just like you say, cussing and third fingers galore. My friend and I are from small town West Virginia. I wouldn't say the sticks, but not far from it. I just remember thinking to myself, "these people from New York are crazy." LOL Come to find out, this is just city driving. You have to learn to go with the flow. As you say, it is what it is. Personally, I am not fond of summer. I love autumn and all the colors, but what can you say. Always a joy to visit you b Malin. Hope you enjoy your weekend and see you around.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Lyric, to read that your Wife was also a Fan of my Hubs, bought a BIG Smile to my face! L.I. is definitely "What it is"...and Luckily, we don't have to head back there for another few years...That side of the family now owes us a visit!

Please Enjoy your Weekend as well. Thank goodness the Heat Spell has broken, for it was even HOT, HOT, here on the Jersey Shore.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Barbara, really enjoyed this, especially your description of men getting ready, shower, shave and 'suit' (how well put!) :o) I myself am a speedy dresser and getting 'dolled up' is my idea of hell, even for a party - I am a jeans and teeshirt kinda gal. And you and the other lady were clearly showing that you knew what was in fashion :o)

Voted up etc etc.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Wow Jools, you hit it Right...Me too...With the Dress Up bit...However if it's not too often, I do it, and Lover Man likes the Finished ME...so I'm sort of Ok with it. You're so right, she and I really were in Fashion in our Black and White. But it was Funny to see! I'm so glad you Enjoyed my Hub.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I'm glad that you're back to creating hubs, b. Malin! Your driving trip sounds expensive and not very pleasant, but the dress incident is very funny!


vespawoolf profile image

vespawoolf 4 years ago from Peru, South America

Too cute. What a trip and it's refreshing that you have a sense of humor about it. I'm sure the pix of the dresses will bring back good memories someday! : )


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Alicia, I'm so Glad to be back. Yes, the Driving Trip was quite the unexpected Expense...but hey, it was Family, you do whatja kinda do! We are still Smiling about the Dress incident...I'm so glad you Enjoyed!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Vespawoolf, Thank YOU. If we couldn't see the Humor in this Drive through L.I. we were in Deep Trouble. You're right, the picture is Funny, and we will Smile about it as we remember this Funny, Funny Memory.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

b. - You are a genuine Funny Girl - you had me laughing all the way. I remember being at a function where one woman came in, saw another wearing the very same outfit and became so distressed, she turned around and went back home. Silly girl - she could have written a funny story about it. Thanks for the laughs. Would like to see the Minnie boobie photo though. How about if I stand sideways while viewing it?


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

b. Malin...

I love and often use this expression-- "it is, what it is".

Your philosophy on life's little burps is absolutely delightful... thank you for always giving me a reason to smile.

Voted UP & FAB. Hugs, Maria


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Hello and welcome back B,

I always look forward to your adventures and a much appreciated laugh at life's ironies. There was one event that I attended in Downtown Dallas where I ran into someone in my exact dress. I was totally embarrassed since the dress was years old and she and I both knew that. I couldn't wait to leave. I bet you looked cute in your Minnie outfit! Too funny. IIWII a new acronym for me to use!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Drbj, you are TOO FUNNY...It's such a Strange picture of me and my Boobs! You'll have to use your Imagination...On Second through....I'm so Glad you are Enjoying this one!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Maria, That expression so sums up things, don't you think? I am so Flattered by your Comments, and of course your thoughts, as well as, Humbled by your Votes!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Peg, So GOOD to be back. If we can't Laugh at ourselves, Life would seem so Dull! Yes, at first I felt like EVERYONE was looking at us, but then I thought, who cares...I did, but, we Laughed at it all, and had a Wonderful Time!


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

How I love to read your stories, they are entertaining and funny!

Loved it and voted up


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Quite an interesting story. I enjoyed reading your narrative.


katyzzz profile image

katyzzz 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Fun stuff and I can see a lot of others think so too


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Movie Master, Oh Thank YOU. Those Comments mean a lot. Of course I also appreciate your Vote!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Vinaya, I'm so Glad you Enjoyed the read. I had Fun writing this one too!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Katyzzz, that's what we writers live for, to Entertain, and be Enjoyed. So Thanks for your Comment!


Akarime31 profile image

Akarime31 4 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

Hello b. Malin! I really enjoyed reading your hub. Man, I hate traffic too specially here in Las Vegas where we only have three freeway options so it's not like we can make a quick exit and enter another freeway to get to our destination. . . I like how you put yourself into your writing, I felt like I knew you or something as I read your wonderful hub.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Akarime, Thanks for your Great Comments. My Sister-in-law also lives in Las Vegas, and has the same Complaints that you mentioned.

Thanks for Enjoying my Hub. I'm so glad a part of me comes across to you...I try for a Laugh or two and am Happy when I Succeed!

Now I'm off to visit your Hubs!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

I have been saying that a lot lately - it is what it is - but one thing I do know is you are such a witty and fun writer to read - and I always leave here fully entertained and inspired to try something like this myself - because when it comes to humor whether you are a master or a mistress - it takes one to know one - and sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time canada 3:31am


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Colin, I've MISSED You, and your Visits, as well as your Wit and Charm. I know how Busy and oh so Popular you have become..."It is What it is"...But as I approach my 2 years on Hub Pages, I'm still Glad to think, you are still my good Friend. Thanks for all your Wonderful Comments.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....don't worry my wonderful friend - I will be back and yes it was a good day when we both met - 2 years, my my, how time flies -lake erie time 10:44am with 2nd cup of wake up coffee


Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

Very funny!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Glimmer, so Glad you Enjoyed! I'm now off to visit your Hubs!


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

Wow - oh so cute. Brilliant as always!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Acaetnna, Thank You! I Try, I try!


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

Cell phone picture and big boobs? Mmm, yes. Your story sounds suspect. You should repost the hub with the said pictures so that your followers and give their honest opinion. I'm sure all the women in the house agree with me. Who's with me sisters?!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Sure A.A. Sure...Actually YOU can see that picture on my Facebook page. I'm with a Friend, and we are both in a Black and White dress, and I look so Weird from the neck down!


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

I saw it. Beautiful picture! I tried to "like it" but got distracted.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

BEAUTIFUL?...A.A. I don't know whether to be INSULTED or WHAT...Maybe you need Glasses! Ha, Ha! Anyway, I'm a Good Sport, or I'd have Destroyed it, but hey, it made for a Fun Hub!


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 4 years ago

Hi B,

This was a great story and I thoroughly enjoyed it. But I was more amazed that you came to my neck of the woods. I live 2 towns away from Merrick, so I enjoyed this hub on many levels.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Wow, are you in Lynbrook? Toknowinfo. I also lived there, as well as Bellerose, when was a Kid. In those days, Traffic was NOT like this. I'm so Glad you Enjoyed.


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

This is why I never talk to women, because I never seem to say the right things. I loved the picture because you were in it. I'm trying.

I'm a gentile, so what exactly do you bring to a Barmitzvah?


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi A.A. Now, now, my Dry Sense of Humor was coming through. I Always HATE pictures of ME...My family knows that...Takes me a long time to say, ok, it wasn't that BAD. But that picture will NEVER get my approval...I am what I am...and IT was what it was.

What do you Bring to a Bar Mitzvah as a Gift, A CHECK, OR CASH... and, of course, your Appetite, the Food is Always Delicious!


lezsaysit profile image

lezsaysit 4 years ago from New York, NY

Hi B.

Your article left me wanting more! Love it!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Lezsaysit, Thank You...Isn't that what us Writers live to hear!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

So funny! I had that happen to me once. Have to say you handled it better than I did.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi teacher, Thank YOU! It was a Funny day, and I guess under the Circumstance, We Both Handled it well, and had a Good Laugh!


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

Oh wow I loved this, you always make me laugh and smile. Thank you.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Acaetnna, Thank YOU. I try...and sometimes things just happen, and it becomes my next Hub!

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