If I Would Be Given A Chance to Turn Back the Time...

We know it's impossible to go back, to turn back the time and redo our life again in the past, erasing scars and choosing the other way around. But sometimes, when it seems nothing right is going on your life, you can't help but wonder and wished that you could turn back the time and change the way things were.

I've done a million mistake in my life, too many mistakes like the stars on a night sky, though some of them I did not regret because of lessons learned; some things are just so heartbreaking that I have to cry every time I remember.

They are just so painful to remember and wished I've done the other way. But in this life, you'll just wake up and realized it was already too late - to mend every second of the wasted time that cannot be fixed.

Though I may be able to meet that crossroad again but still I'm trying to fix the lane I'm treading on this life. This is far from perfection but as I always say, happiness doesn’t depend on other's perspective but your own. If you want to be happy in this life, it's your choice.

Decide and choose what makes you happy and those that will make your life worth living every moment of every single day.

If I could turn back the time, I will prevent the pains from scarring my heart, though it won't be perfectly scar-free but then I know that I've done my best and not just turn away every time I feel weak. I would care and love without hesitation and would neither whine nor get tired loving the people around me.


I just realized it now because I happen to experience the pain of seeing someone you love so much went with forever. And it's too late to make up those good old days when they're still here.

Sometimes when I’m alone I used to think too much. Then I would try hard not to remember every single pain of yesterday but it was impossible to ignore. It’s like sirens that keeps on waking up my memories that I wanted to forget.

And now I am finding solitude to the silence and to the memories of a once-forgotten-dream. And if time permits itself to go backward, I will make sure to paint a picture so bright that good memories will overlap those bad experiences. But I will never forget and will always pocket those lessons learned. It might really come in handy since future is a long way to travel.

People will say "Past is past, move on!"

It's so easy to say when you haven't experienced the hurts and pains of the person you're telling those words. Yearning for yesterday makes you think of a life that could have been.

Though it is not healthy to always look back and cry for nothing, it is also one way of crafting your future based on your experiences because you know and feel that every choice and decision you're making is also molding the future you want for yourself.

But for sure, I will choose again the relationship I have right now. I cannot say that it was perfect and that I have everything I wanted. In fact, it was real imperfect that it hurts so much that I even hide it from myself.

But I don't care if this is the most imperfect love the world has ever seen or the saddest love story a person would ever read someday but I am very sure that this is the most perfect definition of a woman in love. At least, I know how to love and be loved in return than not having to experience it in my life.

All I wanted to say is, I love you way too much to leave.


© 2015 Mycee. All Rights Reserved.

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16 comments

Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

Knock, knock. lol

Sort of feel like I am intruding. Very beautiful and I understand completely. I am sure many of us do. Up and sharing.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

I understand the sentiment behind this. I've been there. I don't say things just to say them, so what I have to say is what I believe. I no longer look at those actions that caused pain as mistakes. I am simply a human being, and from time to time I am going to take actions that cause pain. I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and that means, quite simply, that I am not perfect. All I can do is learn as I go along and try not to cause pain. I will never have this "human" thing down perfectly...none of us will.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

I understand from where you are coming. However, I know if I could go back in time and do over some things, there would be certain pains and scars that would no longer be, but I know I would make new and different mistakes with new and different pain to live with them.

So glad to see you writing again.

Up and more and sharing

Hugs, Faith Reaper


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

You're right...to move on is easier said than done. I hear you, I feel you and I wish you the best...peace!


Romeos Quill profile image

Romeos Quill 2 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

Perhaps we love to know we are not alone.

R.Q.


Romeos Quill profile image

Romeos Quill 2 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

...the conclusive sentiments from the film ' Shadowlands '; a film about the life of C.S. Lewis.

R.Q.


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Turning back time is often thought of especially if you feel it so hard to move on. I too wish I could turn back time but unfortunately that can't be done. Moving on with a positive mind is what is important to gain your strength and be that strong person from the inside. Interesting and thoughtful hub.


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

I have a suspicion that if I were able to turn back time, or give advice to the younger me, my choices would not be so very different to those I made long ago. I'm who I am because of the choices I made. We'll always try to avoid hurt and pain, if we can, but it helps us grow and learn. Would writers, poets, artists and musician be able to touch us in the same way, if they had not experienced the pain and hurt life throws at them? And if we were to choose a different path, would the pain be lesser or greater? We can never know, so let's welcome every new day, live it to the last drop and love the people we are lucky enough to have share our lives. Let's not think too much about what might have been, but look forward to what is to come. Thought-provoking as always, my best to you.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

Spy, life is what we make of it, bumps and bruises and all that comes with it. Without those we wouldn't know joy or love or how to steer ourselves away from harmful experiences. Everything happens for a reason. I know that sounds cliché, but it's true.

I'm glad you are happy with your love partner. That's all that matters.


leni sands profile image

leni sands 2 years ago from UK

I know exactly what you mean - thanks for sharing. Voted up plus useful, interesting, awesome & beautiful.


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 2 years ago from Victoria, Australia

Awesome story and beautiful, too. Thank you for sharing.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 2 years ago from New York

We learn from our mistakes and hopefully do not make the same ones again! I understand your feelings and hope things are better for you everyday!

Voted up and interesting.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

Love can be a hard pill to swallow, and some people feel that it is better to be with someone than alone. Life doesn't come with an owner's manual, so we must always do the best that we can.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

This was so touching. It's hard when you can't find the right love. We can only go back in memories.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

The beginning of your article sounds like an echo of my personal grief. True, some mistakes are difficult to get past; but with an attitude of gratitude for the present and hope for tomorrow, the pain can turn into power. God helps us with damage control.


stuff4kids profile image

stuff4kids 2 years ago

There's real poetry in your words and an almost harrowing honesty which opens the heart.

Regret can be helpful if it is brief, I suppose and helps us to learn and move on but it can also linger painfully for many years - or hide for many years and surprise us when we least expect it.

I expect that your honest sharing has brought courage to many who have read this. It certainly has for me.

Bless you :)

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