Blink

 

If I blink will this go away?

If I wake will this all just be a dream?

Could it be that you and me are actually starting to…

I had hopes, I thought you crushed them.

Dreams you dismissed.

I lost hope, found acceptance.

Fell down got back up. 

Now this

For weeks and months I prayed that god would give me strength

If he was really there, if he really cared could he please…

I guess that’s why they say be careful what you pray

Because I just got it. 

I’m scared to let you in

To be true to be a friend

I know it hurts you when I say I don’t trust you

But please understand

I’m scared of the me I am when I’m with you

The girl of “one more chance.”

The girl who promises herself she’s not going to cry

Then the next day stands in the mirror as more tears slip through her eyes

The girl who hates herself, whishes she had the mind, strength willpower of anyone else.

The girl who is an embarrassment to her friends, family, former life

That’s why I killed her; I know the day second minute she died.

You are the only one who can resurrect her, bring her back as me

Let her control my life.

So as we sit here tonight

Laugh, kiss, and not fight

I’m scared to blink,

To look

To see

Her in my eyes.

Comments 7 comments

arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Fear is a feeling afraid of loosing us. Blink! Love is a feeling unafraid of finding us.


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Powerful stuff. Has the ring of authenticity, which makes it even scary in some ways.


Sarah Writes profile image

Sarah Writes 5 years ago from California Author

Arb: Very insightful as always, and I think your right Blink :) Thanks for stopping by!

Doug: Thank you for taking the time to read! I am always nervous that my hubs are repetitive, so hearing that you think this is authentic is nice, even if it is a little scary :) Take care.


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland

Hi Sarah Writes, This is the first thing i have read by you and i thought it was great. I will definitely need to come back and read more of your poems now.

Michael.


Sarah Writes profile image

Sarah Writes 5 years ago from California Author

Hello Michael, Great I hope you do! And thank you for reading, glad you liked this one :)


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

Wow, Fear within yourself can be harsh at times. But the fear of not being able to trust thy self is hard. I have encountered that feeling with one thing in particular. When you are hurt so many times you fear of letting yourself be the woman you could be! I know this feeling very well. Be yourself and all that you can be and do not be afraid. You have to begin to trust within and all else should fall into play! Great write....

smiles :)

bella


Sarah Writes profile image

Sarah Writes 5 years ago from California Author

Hi Bella thanks so much for reading. And you are so right it’s the fear within ourselves which controls us. So many of the limitations in our own life are due to our own fears. Again thanks for reading! Take care:)

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