Illusions or Delusions

I Wrote The Title

Yes I know I started a hub, I wrote down the title and then had the whole plan worked out. But something strange happened on the way with this hub. It was one of those hubs, well after several false starts, I shelved it. Then as I reflected on my past year on Hub Pages, nearly a hundred hubs under the belt, a string of fans close to 200 Then nothing............


Even the reflections in the coffee where a distraction - not the motivating factor it usually was.
Even the reflections in the coffee where a distraction - not the motivating factor it usually was.

I had hit the wall, my keyboard was a task master, not that charming friend it once was! The keys were heavy to depress, that light friendly gentle stroke was a thing of the past, what now reached the screen slowly, was a drop followed by agonized slow aching drop of letters that after eons then finally created a word, spaces and some more letters another word some punctuation jumble of words and finally a sentence.

On returning with my coffee, this was my view. For those who wish to take a photo of your VDU, you need a shutter speed of 1/30 of a second.
On returning with my coffee, this was my view. For those who wish to take a photo of your VDU, you need a shutter speed of 1/30 of a second.

Then stood up to make another cup of coffee, anything to delay that moment, finally I again sat down in front of that 40cm x 35cm brushed silver 3.5cm wide frame that housed the VDU on which those valiant attempts to gain my lost flow of words where displayed!

A sip of some coffee, hoping for the phone to ring or a knock on the door, nothing, no distractions at all. That type of quiet, that we writers all yearn for, when the flow of words is faster than your fingers. The time for actually reading those few sentences could not be put off any longer.

It was there the beginnings yes a glimpse of what could be, I dare to admit, even might be a completed Hub. It would require a whole lot more, else the hub would be too short.

Suddenly a the sun come out and the keyboard was illuminated and shone, the touch on the keys seemed lighter, maybe, just maybe the block is lifting.

Deluded

Yes i felt deluded after so may Hubs, some many comments and so little return from Google program. I was lost and my urge to write was gone.

This was at that time a big drive 30/30 100/100 Hub Challenges and the HubMob titles looked as if the rest of the world were excluded in participation, as thew centered on Northern Hemisphere and the Stateside practices and traditions.

So once again looked back on my activities here on the Hub Pages I last posted a Hub in the beginning of April, yes I admit to going over to the dark side, yes lured away by those bright lights of the big City of the Internet.

It was all innocent, first started surfing for some sort of inspiration, found my long forgotten Facebook profile was still active, so a dallied there, playing those alluring games like Mafia Wars, etc, etc had a Farm sent and received Hearts and imbibed myself silly, even spent hours gamling in Reno. lived the life of Rilley or is it O'Leary.

Sad to say this was just the start and as I continued slipping lower and lower, i was led, enticed and lured to the hard core and the real heavy side of "whats out there".

Parents and those of you need to be over 18, nay even over 21 to read further.

Warning - Not For Sensitive Readers

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They may contain scenes that sensitive readers might not approve of.

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Well I was sent a seemingly innocent invite to join a site in my mailbox

Social Networks

What happens is that while browsing around on facebook groups, you stumble across group the sounds fun, and meets and matches your current mood, so you join it, and scroll through the pages and fid another splinter group within it.

You guessed it, this one is a bit more the type of thing that keeps you from going back and doing some sort of writing. So you spend a bit more time there, trolling other pages and passing a couple of witticisms or cutesy remarks! Hey that was the purpose of being here. In your mind you here Simon and Garfunkel singing away "I Am A Rock", and you realise that that is you, casting yourself away in limbo.

All of a sudden your mailbox is full of requests to join some group or other. There are as many groups out there, as their is listings within Encyclopedia Britannica, so you join a few more, matching your today's choice of underwear! I tell you it is positively mind blowing.

Next you set up your own site, where YOU are the Person, it is your scene, your rules nada nada nada. People join because of all those fans of yours that you have collected, so you send out a mass mailing to get more people to join you.

As time goes by, you feel the need to advertise another site and do the  same thing. Then on a day you look at your 300 incoming mail messages in the early am, and start spending 3 hours going through from site and all the groups within, then the next and the next.

You look at the glittering downloaded prepackaged  hip juggling Hump Day, Thirsty Thursday's TGIF's fanatics that send you the same message 4 or 5 times over and realise you have not received very many real comments or generated actual coherent dialogues.



Your PC groans

Yes, then the PC starts a revolt, starts running slowly, virus scan now runs for nearly 2 hours, a day.

Then disaster, Cannot access my Service Provider, frantic call to help dek, find out that my DNS has been altered? Fixed, up and running.

Did a couple of backups of my crucial bits and pieces, Cleaned the system and defragged it, now do a weekly clean up of files and cookies, back up and defrag.

A few days later, I receive a notification that my version of MS Word is not certified, they have somehow detected that I am working on a 2002 version, which is wrong as I was still running on a 1997 version. Could not reload the software as the service packs had rendered my initial installation invalid.

Solution was simple, I downloaded Star Office and have not looked back.

Then one morning come in and power up the trusty beast, to find it limping along and not accessing the internet! "Tragedy" played through my mind.

Onto to my Service Provider who again switched my DNS addresses, dug aroundran a couple of test on his site, calmly informed me that my Internet Explorer Program, was corrupted and I would have to reload it!

Sought advice from a PC Tech,  who told me to bring it in and he would see what he could , R400.00 later a copy Firefox loaded, and again up and running, he also ran a couple of tests and said the PC was left unscathed from a possible invasion.

Well I then shut down a lot of my activities on the other side, and here I am.


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Comments 26 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 7 years ago

Facebook, yes, it is an adult Disneyland. Fun, but very time consuming. I had to "wean" myself out of it [smiles]

Writing...I am supposed to have written more than 50 percent of my new book..ha ha ha..I have written some pages..not even full pages.. but then the light...

I figured out what was blocking me from writing it. That in itself was worthy of all the wait.

I wish you an "awakening"..


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Thanks for that wish, It is now the time to face some of those difficult chapters and stop hiding behind the easy ones.

Thanks for the comment, msorensson.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

Cyber burnout!! We are all heading there.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Feline, we all head that way and I think that we all come back either stronger or wiser, some of us are lucky and come back all the wisely stronger.

Thanks for the observation.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 7 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

I too wonder why I am not writing as much as I used to, not in Hubpages but in the forums where I would inspired and share my musings, which often turned into inspirational writing for me. And as for Facebook, I recently joined, (good to see you there) I am warming up to it now. I am thinking I spend too much time being entertained ih Hubpages and sometimes in FB when not working in the business, and sort of dissipate my writing energy... Thanks for this hub!


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

I find it fascinating that so many of us have experienced it. It is a sign that we should have a break and when the mood strikes us, pick up the tools of our craft and resume, what firstly brought us to these and secondly write!

Thanks Violet for your addition to this discussion.


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Hi Rodney. Great hub and very thought provoking. As a newbie to HubPages and social networking in general, I'm at an early stage of addiction and I'm enjoying every minute. Nevertheless, I can sense a devilish subliminal 'tic' telling me overload isn't far behind. Thanks for a good read and some food for thought.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

http://hubpages.com/education/The-almost-Secret

The above is a link i wrote as a fairly newbie to Hub Pages, and as you, see many hubs later, this hub that you have read appears.

So ignore the tic and write and enjoy your writing it is a gift.

Sometimes we have to be taken out of "our pot", placed in a larger pot after having our dead bits trimmed and roots spread out a bit, fresh mulch, and be repositioned, to give us a bit more light.

Enjoy the journey, Green Lotus


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Thank you JR for those inspiring words. What a great analogy! I love it and it rings so true.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

My pleasure, enjoy and keep on writing.

Thanks for the return visit GL


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Rodney, need your help for our old friend Spryte on her hub:

https://letterpile.com/misc/Maginels-Mother---My-M...

She is being targeted by a crazy TROLL, and needs the old gang to rally round... can you help? Hope to see you there :)


Karen Ellis profile image

Karen Ellis 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Oh Rodney, You must need a break. Forget the computer for a day or two and then you will be ready to start with new subject matter.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Karen, a very much needed break is what I needed, so I took it. Only

The poppy fields of illusion draw me back

Draw me back

To the comfort and warmth

The warmth and comfort

Of their red orange light

On their blanket of golden green

They keep drawing me back.

Back here!


Karen Ellis profile image

Karen Ellis 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Yes, there is something about expressing yourself creatively that seems to be impossible to stop, once you get in the habit.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Karen a quick joke, It is alright for monks and nuns to kiss!

Yes just as long as they do not get into the habit.

Take good care!


Teresa Laurente profile image

Teresa Laurente 6 years ago from San Antonio, Texas, U.S.A.

Hello Rodney. I like this light side of your hubs. Thanks for sharing. More power.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Teresa, thanks for your comment, you should read my thoughts on censorship then as well.


Moulik Mistry profile image

Moulik Mistry 6 years ago from Burdwan, West Bengal, India

Great hub - Iread with great interest...


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Glad that you it Moulik Mistry


Expert Cook profile image

Expert Cook 6 years ago from a part of Asia

I like your writing style. You have an interesting idea to create. I can learn a lot from your hubs. Thanks for your sharing. I will learn from you to improve mine.

Thanks a lot Rodney.


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Expert,

I am pleased that you enjoy my writing and hope you enjoy many more as I once again pick up keyboard to create some new hubs.


Karen 6 years ago

Hi Rodney,

It's so funny. I was just thinking about you this morning - wondering how your were and then opened my mail to see your email. It's always good to hear from you.

Karen


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Glad that our telepathic conversations work, things quite OK here and not too hectic.

Thanks Karen,will explain a Braai, with all nuances too you.

Take care Hun


Karen Ellis profile image

Karen Ellis 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Hi Rodney,

Just stopped by to say hello. I just posted a hub about an earthquake we just had in southern California. I live in Oregon, so didn't feel it. Hope all is well.


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada

I think you wrote this for me !!! I seem to be following in some of your footsteps..... =:O


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 6 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City Author

Beth, at one time we all get around and try to see all that this wide cyber world has to offer, we loose sight of what is very real and we come back and run again with the fold.

I a need to do my 100 hubs, but have a few too many commitments on my plate.

but will get them shortly.

Thanks for commenting, good luck and enjoy.

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