I'm A Broken Man

Looking out of the window watching the world go by and I feel nothing.... not even amused by the playful antics of two birds fighting over food. Funny isn't it, that even on a warm sunny day I still feel cold.... surrounded by loneliness and unconvinced by love.

The sense of purpose was withering away and the empty bottle of whiskey slowly rolled across the floor. Closing the blinds I take another puff and inhale the fumes of nicotine. Some would say I was an alcoholic, I just saw it as making a friend.

I was bitter and I couldn't bear the thought of anyone being happy, only becoming more intoxicated seemed to be the only thing that made sense . So I search for another bottle when I stumble across a picture, and within that moment I’m reminded of how broken I am. She was the love of my life, the sweetest person you could ever think of. Her hair was soft and her smile was warm. She was quite glamorous and she knew it too, marrying her was the best thing I ever did.

I still remember our honeymoon, teasing me for wearing that purple shirt to dinner. I couldn't stop laughing at the funny faces you made, I bet the tourist guide thought we were a couple of idiots in love. Holding on to those memories made me numb and the sudden rush of emotions came flooding back to me. Within a second the picture frame shatters and there lies me and you, a thing of the past, the forgotten couple....

It’s been months since we last spoke and time doesn't seem to be on my side. I heard through the grapevine you were off to Mexico with your new toy boy enjoying deep pleasures and learning new cultures. Although my hand was bleeding from the shattered glass I was unmoved, still thinking of the one night where it all went wrong. It haunts me to this day.

We didn't exchange numbers or names, just a handshake and our eyes made contact. From that very moment I knew this wasn't going to end well. Hoping not to do the unthinkable I try to resist but her golden skin and swan like figure was too tempting for me to turn down .I wanted to hold back but the egotistical man inside of me came alive.

The room was quiet, and the sense of guilt lived among us . She offered me a cigarette but I refused,instead we just watched the light bulb flicker until daylight . Who would have thought, one night of stupidity and a drunken game of twister could lead to such a disaster.

Losing you was the worst thing I've ever done,and the sickening look on your face kills me. I used to hear the floor boards creek and thought it was you ready to give me another chance but all i'm left with is an empty home crying for love to come back.

The stormy weather takes siege and i'm forced to sit down in that brown polished armchair next to the fireplace.The flames looked warm and gentle, it was the closest thing to being next to a woman. With Its belly dance movement swaying from left to right It looked at me, and I looked back. I wanted to touch it, but the amount of heat racing towards my hands quickly snapped me back into reality and I'm suddenly aware of the shattered picture frame still lying on the floor .

Years went by and we never did speak again. I prayed to the heavens for you to come back but you never did. So as I lay on the side of the bed where you use to sleep, I'm left with that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach.I'm broken and I don't know what to do.

Comments 46 comments

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Original Eman....This sad tale is so touching. Your sorrow and lonliness scream loudly and I feel for you, in such pain. Please know that with each day and step you take toward healing, the heaviness will begin to fade....bit by bit. Try to forgive yourself and understand that love can come into your life again. Peace.


Cara.R profile image

Cara.R 4 years ago from New York

Great Hub, pictures and title. Fabulous! You are a great writer. You drew me in and I hung on to every word.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Hey fpherj48 thank you for your kind comments i wanted to make this piece as real as possible and i'm glad you was able to see that.I only hope this short story can help those who feel they need to cheat on their love ones and show that they need to think twice before taking that step.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Cara your words are inspiring seriously i just want to write more thank you.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Anyone "thinking" they have a need to cheat on a loved one....needs to think more than twice. They need to picture themselves the "broken man," in your story....and ask themselves what the remainder of their life would be like after such a loss for what amounts to be a brief, meaningless & shameful moment.....


aslaught profile image

aslaught 4 years ago from Alabama

Very sad. I felt your pain. Great hub, good writing.


KellyMcB profile image

KellyMcB 4 years ago from USA

This was so well written. It drew me in and held me until the end.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

@ Fpherj48 i totally agree, for men and women thinking to cheat on their partners has to be the final straw and they must address the situation before doing the unlawful deed. I'm glad you was able to get this through my short story.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Thank you kellymcb i'm glad you enjoyed reading this and i hope to do the same with my other hubs too.

@ Aslaught thank you for commenting i'm glad i was able to show the pain in this story and you was able to feel it too.


ilymsvicky profile image

ilymsvicky 4 years ago from Long Beach

Great short story. You could feel the emotions in your words. Regret is an awful feeling and is very hard to overcome. This story is a warning that you should think twice before you ruin something special for one night of fun!


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Ilmsvicky we can't afford to ruin something special just for one night . Thank you for reading this piece i'm glad you enjoyed it :)


COBRA 4 years ago

Love it E! This is serious!


Ninzie from Cph 4 years ago

Wow. Beautifully written. Undeniably gifted. Looking forward for more. :)


Shaddie profile image

Shaddie 4 years ago from Washington state

Very sad...


Bradley Thomas 4 years ago

I loved reading this!!!! Keep up the good work Eman


Andy 4 years ago

Absolutely fantastic mate. That actually touched me.

A big thumbs up its really good.


andsoforth profile image

andsoforth 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

I love the way you have with words and look forward to reading more...


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Andsoforth thank you for taking a real interest in my work i really do apperciate your comments .

Lets keep in touch and enjoy the use of words being put out on display lol


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Eman, When you publish this book I'll be one of the first to buy it. I love sad stories and this promises to be a good read.


onthegrind profile image

onthegrind 4 years ago from Florida, United States

Hey Eman. Just stopped by to read more of your writing. Again, I was really feelin it.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Thank you guys for commenting on this story, it makes feel me great knowing that writing something that appeals to you guys.

@tobusiness i love sad stories too but it has to have a defining meaning, and i hope you got that from reading this.


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

You are truly a gifted writer. You pulled me in as a reader wanting to comfort this poor man, letting him know everything would be okay one day. Lost loves, broken hearts, unsure futures..such a sad story but very realistic and that my friend is how one knows a writer when they see one..Great job!


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Sunnie thank you for your wise words, they really do mean a lot.I'm so glad you was able to see such emotions in this piece and even i feel guilty for this man , even though he was in the wrong lol. keep in touch friend


Cimone A Billue profile image

Cimone A Billue 4 years ago from Syracuse, New York

I love this. Keep up the good work!


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Thanks Cimone and believe me i will try to keep up the good work. Sharing my hubs here seems to be the only thing i want to do:)


Vincent Moore 4 years ago

Wonderful, I felt the pain of each word. I was that man and stumbled and kicked the empty bottles across my room. My past haunts me still, I scribe from my soul and the bitter taste left afterwards shakes my very being. I am healed now, but my past and my Muse comes from deep within. This was excellent, Bravo, you moved your reader and that's what great writers aim to achieve. Voted way UP.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Thank you Vincent, your comments are amazing.I'm so glad that you was able to connect with this story as i to was this man.The past can sometimes bite you in the neck just to remind you to think twice in every situation.I appriciate you taking the time to read this hub,thank you.


Richawriter profile image

Richawriter 4 years ago from On Top of the World

Great job Eman!

As you say in your profile you have a love for words and that definitely shines through here in this hub.

Whatever you do, don't stop writing mate. Perhaps you also write somewhere else other than hubpages.

As for me, I too love words although I left my dream of writing for a living at the back of a dusty closet, in my mind. I finally dusted it off when I joined ezine articles, suite 101 and finally hubpages. Hubpages is the best of the three by far.

Anyway, my rambling over. I leave you with this quote to hopefully inspire you.

"Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still." - Henry David Thoreau


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Richawriter your awesome mate thank you for your kind words. I've just been checking out your page and really wanted to know what intrigued you to your love for zombies? Being on hubpages has been a wonderful experience, i enjoy writing here very much. Where would you suggest another web page to write on. Enough of me going on and on its great to have a new follower and stay in touch.


Richawriter profile image

Richawriter 4 years ago from On Top of the World

Well, Eman, the zombie love affair began when I was very young, around 8 years old! Ha! Seems way too young to be getting interested in zombies eh, but I guess my parents were too busy arguing to notice their sons watching horror movies!

To be honest mate, It may be because of my past and the anger I kept in for so many years. The anger is gone but my obsession with the loneliness and despair that comes from being that way remains. So, It has led me to loving apocalyptic movies, books etc. Zombies are part of that whole package and so I have chosen them.

I too dream of writing a book. Good luck with your mission to write one mate, all you will need is perseverance and you'll get there. The passion and innate ability is already there.

To be honest Eman, I have given up writing for Ezine Articles and Suite 101. Hubpages is my sole project and I think it will stay that way for at least 2012. The only other site that comes close to this one is Squidoo but to be honest I find it to be a bit tedious. Way too much stuff to fart around with.

Stick with Hubpages mate. Probably the best site around at the mo.

I had one question too. Is this story about you? Your own experience or someone else?

Peace.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

I know exactly what you mean and I totally understand where your coming from.I think that's one of the reasons why I started to write.I always felt alone and I needed to reflect this in my characters that I created through my work.

Hubpages Is definitely up there no doubt about that mate.I will be staying here for a while lol. You too dream of writing a book? That's awesome mate I just want to keep on writing and finally get It out there In books shops.That Is the dream that will not go away and I want It to come true. This story is not really about me although there are experiences that I have gone through which kind of gave me the inspiration to write this. It's actually weird how this one came about; I had the radio on at home and a song came on and it made me feel a way i had never felt before. It was a very sad song and I found It on the net and kept on playing it which led to write this piece.


BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Wow, it's awesome... It always amazes me how people can tell the weight of a novel of about 200 pages in a short story, wow! I felt like I fell into a dream, really vivid and colorful, that's just really fascinating experience...


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

I'm speechless mate, thank you very much for your comments. It's exactly how i felt when writing this piece. Great minds think a like max ,stay in touch :)


snowdrops profile image

snowdrops 4 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

Sorrow and loneliness can be seen on your hub. It's so sad yet it can touched someone's heart.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Thank you snowdrop for reading this hub. I really wanted to put out something that would touch people when reading this and i'm glad you was able to feel this way.Stay in touch :)


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

This is so awesome , I too and probably everyone else has that one that got away ! You are an agreat writer , if I were you i'd chase that dream !.......I'll be checkiing out more of your writing !


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Thank you so much for reading this piece. Your words are kind and I'm glad you enjoyed reading this hub. I only aspire to be a great writer like yourself. Your work is brilliant.


isenhower33 profile image

isenhower33 4 years ago from Crothersville, IN

Great job man, this is a really good hub, I will vote it up and Awesome :)


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Isehower,thanks for reading my hub. Your comments are words of encouragement and is a testimony to why I love writing. Much love bro stay in touch.


isenhower33 profile image

isenhower33 4 years ago from Crothersville, IN

You have a great form of writing and I look forward to more of your work :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

what a beautiful write. I am flabbergasted so speechless. how many of us can relate to this.. and you wrote it so perfectly.. so nice to meet you

Debbie


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

The pain of unrequited love. How many of us can relate. I agree with Deborah. Someday you will fall in love again and this experience will be another bad dream. Looking forward to reading more of your work.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Debbie, this is one my pieces that I still read to remind me of not making such a mistake like this again. Its never fun hurting someone you love and having to watch them start a new life without you. Sometimes we all need a reality check and this was it for me. Stay in touch my friend


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 4 years ago from london Author

Lovedoctor I think i may need some advice from you the next time i am in a relationship lol. We can all relate to this is affair but let's hope that we get rid of such mistakes and promise to do better with our love ones.


SiberianWolf profile image

SiberianWolf 3 years ago from MidWest

Bravo!!! I have to assume this is a fictional piece... otherwise I wouldn't know how to respond... picture perfect my friend... I could feel the shattered glass and the blood of past mistakes... beautiful in its sadness... I can tell you became the character in this piece... not an easy thing to do... but it's written from the deepest parts of the heart... and that's the kind of writing i love the most... big fan here


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 3 years ago from london Author

SiberainWolf thank you for such a gracious comment. I am truly thankful and glad that you was able to connect with this piece. It is fictional and yet so many things in this piece seem to reflect a very big part of my life. Sometimes I look at this and cannot even respond myself. Stay in touch friend

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