In Contempt of Creation

I stand before you, a broken man


....


...


...


....



The length of time I have dwelt in this realm has
created obstacles I cannot overwhelm.
The casting of shadows upon my future
holds no hope of a change or of closure.


Daily, a struggle to awake from my peace
At night, tortured thoughts refusing to cease
Through every battle and from out of the ashes
Desperate for air, before my eyes, my life flashes


I was born without fear, youth gifted with passion
Full of bright dreams, high hopes, and compassion
My soul’s taken on dark water, preparing for sinking
Yet, before me stands a beacon of life, it’s breathtaking

All things become new, or they pass into nothing
I throw away the chains that bind, finding something
Something to focus my eyes on, if for only an age
Activity flowing through my brain, engage, disengage


Regret is only a remnant of fear, and self loathing
Instilling contemplations of ominous foreboding
I speak to you now, death, my soul shall not be claimed
Mistakes have been made, but I remain unashamed

Nice try,

old friend,

well played,

good attempt.


Of creation,

I hold you,

oh , reaper,

in contempt.



© copyright Ben D.A 2011

Comments 38 comments

BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

arb and midianite - thanks a bunch


Midianite profile image

Midianite 5 years ago from Australia

Nice piece once again. The ending is sweet.


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Light and dark. We walk them both. Which will keep us, which will let us go? The place that gives us rest.

Great talent for one of any age!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Nellie - after reading the disturbing "nightly nightmares" I can see why...lol I'm sorry you were a bit unsettled by that. Thanks for reading this, I LOVE this one

Sligo - It is a very interesting twist isn't it? Thanks much! :]


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

I like the grim reaper held in contempt of creation. The twist at the end reminds me of epigram man.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

I reread this and it was a welcome relief somehow. It has a more natural flow and seems quicker to notice a light at the end of the tunnel, which is more welcomed by the writer than in some later works I've just read. It doesn't deny the obstacles or the inner turmoil, but it's not committed to keeping them going so much.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Very good point, Nellie. The rules were created and formed from chaos, and chaos is how I like it.

I can't thank you enough for your support and encouragement since the beginning for me. You have really helped with leading other writers to me. I always look forward to comments from you!!

:]


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

So more and more of the greatest writers here on HP are discovering you, Ben. I am not surprised. Your continued output of outstanding, some approaching gifted, poetry says a lot. Not surprising if it tells YOU that your life has meaning and direction. This is so good!

And I agree with my friend Twilight Lawns, that when talent is as natural as yours, it might be a shame to superimpose formalities on it. In fact, where do we suppose the formalities came from, if not from trailblazers who trusted their own instincts?


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thanks Genna!! I enjoy bravos


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Brilliant!

I especially like...

"I speak to you now, death, my soul shall not be claimed

Mistakes have been made, but I remain unashamed..."

Bravo!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Twilight, who would shoot you down in flames for that comment? You say such great things, thank you VERY much. This is the reason I write.

Justin - I agree man, this is definitely in my top 3


japtaker profile image

japtaker 5 years ago from United States

Really, the more I read this, the more astonishing it becomes. This is beautiful. A masterpiece. I have to say it is my favorite of your work so far.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

I think that this sort of feeling is what made the Ancient Greeks think that Apollo had the Muses to help people along and to encourage. Maybe, and I feel someone is going to shoot me down in flames here; maybe it is a disadvantage to study poetry and form too dilligently, as it can sometimes take the life and vitality out of what is written.

As they say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thank you x 1000 erthfrend, by the way, what is your name?

haha


erthfrend profile image

erthfrend 5 years ago from Florida

This was SO powerful! I absolutely loved it! It is very inspirational, very captivating. The pictures were also amazing. You are really talented!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

The really odd thing about my writing, is that I have zero knowledge or experience of/with poetry.

I have read very few books, and have never even dived deeply into language, or vocabulary.

I feel like much of my writing just comes naturally somehow. I really can't figure it out.

It's as if I was simply gifted with one talent in life, and it's this.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Ben, I really like what I am reading. I am still confused; not by what you write, as poetry is deeply personal and cannot ever be completely analysed except in form; but by your combination of ingenuousness and maturity in your attack.

Most people writing with the capability that you have, have twice the experience of language, by virtue of their being twice your age; language must be one of your great loves, or I have misjudged you.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Suburban Poet - it began as a struggle between me and my inner darkness, but transitioned into the concept of death itself. Though this is close and personal to me, I wanted to make it understandable to everyone, and something they can relate to.

I'm glad you liked it, thank you for the comment


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

I think this particular line is inspired:

"Regret is only a remnant of fear, and self loathing

Instilling contemplations of ominous foreboding"

I wasn't sure if this piece was a discussion of the struggle between who you are and what life or religion wants you to be but regardless it sounds like you are discovering your gifts and I hope you become the man you want to be....

"


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Mentalist - thank you, I really loved this one.

Nikki - in this, i kind of replaced the man inside that is holding me back, and tearing me apart...with the term "death" or "reaper". I've been dying one day at a time for years, and now I am defying it. thank you :]

Epi - thank you so much. I am really proud of this one, and it has a lot of meaning for everyday life, for anyone who is suffering. I really appreciate your comments


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

....well obviously you write like someone who is much older than your years with such wisdom and deep thoughts and poetic integrity.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

amazing! confronting death like he is just anyone else. There really is no need to fear death...its inevitable, we all shall die one day, but we dont have to let them take our souls! our spirits shall be free to roam! I believe in Heaven and Hell and God and the devil, at least that there is a higher being and a good and a bad seed. and I refuse to let the bad one have me. great pics too!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Lol,I'm on firefox browser which blocks the adds...this is a wonderful defiance of the acids that eat away the soul.;)


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thanks bbnix, this one means a lot to me.

Appreciate you reading


bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

Very nice Ben. You are quite talented with your writing for sure.

Voted up...


Melody L Williams profile image

Melody L Williams 5 years ago

Of course, I love the lines "Yet, before me stands a beacon of life, it’s breathtaking," and "All things become new." : )


Elizabeth99 profile image

Elizabeth99 5 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

Haha thanks lol, and you are very welcome!! I enjoy reading your stuff!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Randy - Thank you for that, but it can't be more edible than you ;]


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

This stanza is edible.

"Regret is only a remnant of fear, and self loathing

Instilling contemplations of ominous foreboding

I speak to you now, death, my soul shall not be claimed

Mistakes have been made, but I remain unashamed"


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thanks Elizabeth, oh and I like your new pic, I wonder who suggested that? ;D

I appreciate your support


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

Yes, it really is :)


Elizabeth99 profile image

Elizabeth99 5 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

I hate the adds to, they distract me. But otherwise amazing again, I love the idea of Death being something we can control, puts a little more faith in the human race, though I doubt we would use it right :( Anyway, great poem!!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Seenbutnotheard - lol, thats flattering :D

was it really? I really felt like I had nothing to write about, so I was surprised that this came about.

Thanks!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Lol, thanks Phoenix ;]

You really liked this? I had writers block, and I sat down, and somehow this came out.

Gosh, inspiration is a deep well.


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

You were rejected? I'm looking at your face, coupled with the fact that you are a phenomenal poet, and it just doesn't compute. I wish they made guys like you in Michigan lol Another amazing hub, Mr. Writings :)


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

I know - they are the worst. BTW, the name is Phoenix, kid ... I'm in my alter ego. Can't write dark Pooh poo ya know.

Hey - look at you - up to 85 in 11 days? Way to write!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

haha thanks Pooh, I had to do some editing after I published it...

I forgot about those freakin ads! lol


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

In-friggin-credible!!!!

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