In The Event Of A Zombie Invasion Follow These Useful Tips
Everyone Should Have A Plan When Zombies Attack
Being prepared for a zombie attack or invasion is very important in this day and age, because you never know when it might happen, the key here is to be alert to common occurrences, like long moans that go huuuuuuuuughhh and mmuuugghhhhhhh, if you hear these sounds coming from a bedroom then two zombies are getting their freak on and should be left alone.
Now a plan of action should you need to survive when zombies attack.
First you will need an indestructible titanium space suit, so you can wear it to prevent you from being bitten by these smelly arse bandits, now I'm not sure how you can make one of these, so you might want to make it out of tin foil instead and write titanium metal on it, so that the zombies know that they cannot bite through it, zombies are so stupid, they'll believe anything!
Never leave your car keys in the ignition as this invites zombies to go car rallying around town and nothing annoys more when some dead dude steals your wheels, instead what you could do is leave a trail of your mother in laws intestines(generally speaking...my mother in law is ace...just wanted to clear that up!) leading into the car and then when a couple of zombie homeys come to jack your car, you can blow it up with a bazooka!
Leave all of the doors and windows unlocked and when the zombies come calling, you can confuse them with some queen music and just have a party, it would be best if you asked them to bring a bottle, because every bit helps and sausages on sticks are a great hit at parties, you could play, pin the arm back on the zombie or something that would make them feel welcome.
Run to the nearest shopping mall and eat and drink as much as you can before the zombies take over, get some new clothes and flaunt them in the face of these zombie scumbags, that'll show them that you are the best dressed sunny bopper in the whole of town.
You could of course pretend to be a zombie, put some tomato ketchup on your face and walk around like a zombie, who knows you may make some new friends.
Zombies could take over the world so we need to be ready.
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