Inane Episode 3

Back! Go Back!

Backwards isn't the left-most ideology that Hank would have used had he been asked. He wasn't asked. And this is not because of something he didn't keep from not doing, but rather, because of a limerick repeated one too many times in his sister's neighbour's house where a party was held every blue moon. In it, the personal pronoun the least commonly used sent her to him, while he saw them with her and it. Mixing plant food with dog food isn't a cup of tea made with digital wrist watches. I should know.

When you sell your third left shoe in the pair that isn't less worn than the other for sixteen times a fraction that is evenly divided by the number of ribs in a three legged lemur. Didn't I tell you about incomplete sentences? As she would know, a semi-colon is used not like a parenthesis; that the lemur didn't know how to spell eight-letter words beginning with the letter double-U was inconsequential, or at least, to this text she isn't.

A police siren, not like a siren, makes a sound much like a siren that makes a sound. This is a lot like calling a kettle black without knowing the phone number. If you didn't fail to understand the calculated misrepresentation in the previous sentence, move ahead two spaces, otherwise, read on holding your head in your hands.

It would be obviously less interesting to discard an idea whose premise is nondeterministically in sulking error, but who would know better? A poet, a baker or a sturgeon? If you think I misspelled the last word in that list - wait.

For everyone else, let us sit and laugh at the waiters. Or, to be more polite, let's just sit.

Fortunately, when the window was opened, thousands of yellow birds flew in a direction that could not be described. This allowed for the window to then be closed again. Opening and closing windows is much like an activity that resembles the opening and closing of windows. You may be interpreting my use of the word 'windows' to mean the windows you'd find on a house, apartment building or a mustard stain on an old t-shirt that has gone through the wash twenty-nine times more often than it should have, but you'd be right.

As uninspired as this inane episode is, I can't help but keep from not preventing myself from publishing it. This is what I get for not writing inanities for many consecutive minutes. Practice, nap, nap, that's what I always say, well, at least it is what I say when I am not unconscious.

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Comments 18 comments

Ebower profile image

Ebower 5 years ago from Georgia

You. are. crazy. I love it! By the way, I voted this up and funny.

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago

Verrrry interesting. The Sturgeon liked it too.

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

Thanks EB, this inane hubber can use all of the vote-ups it can get.

ag, I'm glad your fish enjoyed this hub; it is precisely for her that I wrote it.

Bill Yovino profile image

Bill Yovino 5 years ago

I think you mistook a box of Tic-tacs for your normal medication.

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

Bill, it is quite possible I made just such a mistake, but I think it more likely I mistook a tic-tac-toe game for a stub-your-toe game.

Bill Yovino profile image

Bill Yovino 5 years ago

Understandable. As long as you didn't mistake it for a tick-tick-tick- bang!

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

LOL!!! For some weird reason this disconjunctive rambling actually was readable, I'm not sure why. And, it made me smile!

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

It is readable because you read it. I'm glad it made you smile, I smiled while writing it. Well, part of it, anyhow.

LadyFae profile image

LadyFae 5 years ago from Under the Stars

You practised, published and now it's nap time. And after your nap, let's sit and laugh at the waiters.

Again, good stuff and vote up.

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

Thanks LF, inane comes easily for me, this is why I get to nap.

JSParker profile image

JSParker 5 years ago from Detroit, Michigan

I'm laughing and crying and holding my head in my hands!

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

JS, to call a kettle black without a phone number is using the word 'call' at one time with two different meanings. You don't need to hold your head in your hands any longer.

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Giselle Maine 5 years ago

Very weird, but kinda scary too. It reminded me a lot of the time I was once sick with a high fever and became delirious! Not an experience I would care to repeat. Anyhow, this hub is also pretty funny... I don't know how you come up with this stuff! (unless you happen to be sick with a fever!)

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

GM, being sick and delirious causes me to have hallucinations, however, writing these inane hubs I am completely in my right mind (whatever that is). It is mostly that I have lots of experience writing this way so it comes with relative ease.

leroy64 profile image

leroy64 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas (Oak Cliff)

The electrical outlets look like a couple of stunned faces.

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

They do indeed - they had just come from reading this hub.

aa lite profile image

aa lite 4 years ago from London

The most scary thing about this is the photo, it's like two little faces looking at me!

Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 4 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

Curious, I've never had any of my inane hubs referred to as scary. Thanks for stopping by!

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