Inane Episode 53

All of the fingers of my right hand, being a number of fingers that is more or less or equal to the average number of fingers one would expect to have.

To wit, the writ was wrote. I admit, my mitt is broke. I submit, the previous sentence was incomplete. If you did not know to expect this, you have not read a previous inane hub.

Carcinogenic elbow grease used as a cooking material is highly recommended by hidden organizations that use mass advertising to claim their secrecy. These hidden organizations are known to most of us, making the fact that they are hidden much like the way a tax evasion office has a doorbell that sounds like a pregnant crow. Camping with my A-Liner, or, with the one I wish I had, would remind Hank's sister's parakeet how to paste accented characters into Google Sketchup which rhymes with 'ketchup'. Coincidence? I leave you and the three other people who will read this hub to judge.

Celebrating the celebrity is like painting the third coat orange, not having been satisfied with the winter apparel sale. One could blame the not so hidden organization for the lack in quality and dexterity of winter apparel at this time of year, but one would be blaming the wrong flag pole. Speaking of flag poles, did you know that there has been and will be elections in certain jurisdictions that begin and end with letters? I didn't know, but then, being a writer of the inane, my socks would only match four sevenths of the time. The other three sevenths have been subjugated by a hidden organization that paid for enormous billboard advertising being shown on a little used highway between Corrosion and Parentheses.

(click column header to sort results)
   
This is a table  
   
 
this is not a cake
 
 
 
this is not a rock band
this is not an envelope
 
 
As far as html tables are concerned, this is one of them.

Anatomically, the requirement to have thirteen sharpened orange coloured pencils for the school supply list seemed about as intricate as the inner workings of a monthly calendar of the year 2007. Other calendar years that either preceded this one or any other one that falls between four and three quarters and Honduras, awoke sluggishly, panting at the concept of consciousness. One of the hidden organizations had a plan for such, but failed miserably in keeping it hidden; we all know it as temerity.

If this hub mentions hidden organizations too many times, you can file a complaint with the hidden organization that handles such complaints. They are extremely well known as are most hidden organizations. Just look on your favourite search engine for any term that results in a googlewhack.

As a catalyst towards kennel factories that bake alphabetically inclined dismissiveness into lozenge shaped hieroglyphically resembling slobber stains, a wrenching heart breaking pantomime took a cigarette break. Leaving the remaining bits and pieces under the rug made it so that all of the hidden organizations wound up smelling like teen spirit. To have thought otherwise would have meant to have had thoughts that were different. I should know.

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Comments 8 comments

Awful Poet profile image

Awful Poet 4 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

Indeed`


Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 4 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

Well, I'm glad you agree, if that is what you meant.


Awful Poet profile image

Awful Poet 4 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

Why yes it is , I have thoroughly enjoyed this hub.


Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 4 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

Well thank you, that makes two of us.


Mazzy Bolero profile image

Mazzy Bolero 4 years ago from the U.K.

Clearly, you are a master of inanity :)


Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 4 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

Mazzy, I appreciate the thought, it is just too bad that being a master of such has no benefit. Thanks for stopping by!


i scribble profile image

i scribble 3 years ago

Did you finally run out of ideas for your inanity series? Consider trying a different brand of humor. I published my first attempt at a humorous hub a couple days ago. I would appreciate if you'd read it and let me know if you think it's funny. If you do, maybe you will even get some inspiration from it. If not, nothing lost but a few moments of your time. It's a bucket list.http://iscribble.hubpages.com/hub/My-Quirky-


Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 3 years ago from Montreal, Quebec Author

I submitted an inane hub a few months back, but with the new peer approved policy, it was refused. This left a deleterious taste and lowered my respect for the authorities in Hubpages who have elected to put in place this policy.

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