Internet Dating (an adult fairy tale)
This is the first poem I have written for Poetry Month. It is something a little different from the norm. I hope you enjoy the read, and welcome your comments.
I've only been here once or twice,
It's not really my scene.
I thought I'd give it one more try,
Most guys are much too keen.
'Prince Charming', are you joking?
That sounds a little vain.
Do women take you serious,
Or treat you as insane?
Sorry, that was rather mean,
I shouldn't judge so quick.
It's just the things that some guys want
Really make me sick.
Internet Dating (a fairy tale)
by John Hansen (C) 2014
(warning! contains adult themes)
Do you come here often?
(His corny opening line)
I haven't seen your name before,
And I'm here all the time.
Your avatar is really cute.
'Snow White's' a pretty name.
I know some guys are rather rude,
But we aren't all the same.
It's hard to choose a catchy name,
There's no need to insult.
I'm sorry you've been treated bad,
But it's really not my fault.
Actually you seem quite nice,
You must think I'm a bitch.
The last guy that I chatted with
Had a really charming pitch.
At first he sounded friendly,
He said his name was 'Doc'.
His small talk made me feel at ease,
Then he asked, "Do you like c...?"
I sat there shocked in disbelief,
At first I couldn't speak.
"I'm not that type of girl," I said,
"Just get lost, you creep"
That didn't even put him off.
He said, "I have six pals.
We like to share and share a like,
Especially pretty gals."
It is ok, I understand,
I get that all the time.
Girls in here get hit on lots,
But not all guys are slime.
Some guys are full of compliments,
They know just what to say.
Most of them are on-line sharks
And women are their prey.
Maybe if you're willing,
I'd like to be your friend.
I hope you find me honest,
And chivalrous to the end.
I know Doc, he's short and crude,
No wonder you are bitter.
His type is more like what you find
In a tray of kitty litter.
I'm sorry he abused you
He makes us all look bad.
You must think all guys want is sex,
It really is quite sad.
His friends, the Dwarfs are nasty,
They're horrid and depraved.
They like to have a live-in girl,
To be their little slave.
My computer screen is freezing,
It needs a good reboot.
But just one tip before I go,
Beware of witches bearing fruit.
More by this Author
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