Internet Dating (An Adult Fairy Tale)

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This is the first poem I have written for Poetry Month. It is something a little different from the norm. I hope you enjoy the read, and welcome your comments.

Source

Snow White:

I've only been here once or twice,

It's not really my scene.

I thought I'd give it one more try,

Most guys are much too keen.


'Prince Charming', are you joking?

That sounds a little vain.

Do women take you serious,

Or treat you as insane?


Sorry, that was rather mean,

I shouldn't judge so quick.

It's just the things that some guys want

Really make me sick.

Internet Dating (a fairy tale)

Prince Charming:

Do you come here often?

(His corny opening line)

I haven't seen your name before,

And I'm here all the time.


Your avatar is really cute.

'Snow White's' a pretty name.

I know some guys are rather rude,

But we aren't all the same.


It's hard to choose a catchy name,

There's no need to insult.

I'm sorry you've been treated bad,

But it's really not my fault.

Source

Actually you seem quite nice,

You must think I'm a bitch.

The last guy that I chatted with

Had a really charming pitch.


At first he sounded friendly,

He said his name was 'Doc'.

His small talk made me feel at ease,

Then he asked, "Do you like c...?"


It is ok, I understand,

I get that all the time.

Girls in here get hit on lots,

But not all guys are slime.


Some guys are full of compliments,

They know just what to say.

Most of them are on-line sharks

And women are their prey.

Source

I sat there shocked in disbelief,

At first I couldn't speak.

"I'm not that type of girl," I said,

"Just get lost, you creep"


That didn't even put him off.

He said, "I have six pals.

We like to share and share a like,

Especially pretty gals."


Source

Maybe if you're willing,

I'd like to be your friend.

I hope you find me honest,

And chivalrous to the end.


I know Doc, he's short and crude,

No wonder you are bitter.

His type is more like what you find

In a tray of kitty litter.


I'm sorry he abused you

He makes us all look bad.

You must think all guys want is sex,

It really is quite sad.


His friends, the Dwarfs are nasty,

They're horrid and depraved.

They like to have a live-in girl,

To be their little slave.


My computer screen is freezing,

It needs a good reboot.

But just one tip before I go,

Beware of witches bearing fruit.

Source

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Comments 59 comments

Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Wow, how wonderfully creative you are Jodah! You really captured it here but adding the fictional characters added a great dimension to the piece. Voted up and more. Enjoy your day, Fairh Reaper


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

My wife of 11 years now was my construction superintendent in a place called Saigon. When we were done building. I fell deeply in love with her but was called back to the States and Mexico for work. We dated online for a year.

I think if you asked our 4 year old if online dating is cool he would not have a clue. But if you ask me if Snow White is real --- well yes, very.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

Way too clever and creative, John! Excellent job. I'm sure glad I don't have to do the internet dating thing.


Mary McShane profile image

Mary McShane 2 years ago from Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Woo hoo! I loved this poem! You have weaved a wonderful tale with some good concepts: humor, the anonymity of internet dating (undertone @safety) and some dead on hits about some "men" in general (loose term when it comes to dwarves!). The TV show was a good tie-in, although I don't watch it, I've seen the commercials for it. Voted up and shared.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading Faith and your kind comment and vote up. You have a great day too.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading Eric. I'm glad Prince Charming found his Snow White in your case and your online dating was a successful endeavor. Well done.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks Bill, I appreciate your generous comment.Yes, I agree. I'd hate to have to do the Internet dating thing too.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks Mary, your kind comment is much appreciated. This hub was quite experimental. I wasn't sure how it would turn out. Glad it worked. Thanks again for the vote up and share.


LongTimeMother profile image

LongTimeMother 2 years ago from Australia

I sincerely hope someone reminds me of this hub the next time the annual awards are nominated. This is a beautie! (Pardon the pun.)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Wow, LongTimeMother, you really think it's that good.? Thanks heaps. I appreciate that wonderful comment, pun excused...lol.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 2 years ago from Deep South, USA

I know the words "clever" and "creative" have already been used to describe this poem, but they well describe your blend of animated Disney characters with a contemporary theme for a superb result.

Voted Up+++

Jaye


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Great accomplishment here with the many thoughts and love is found anywhere well approached.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you very much Jaye. I can't ask for a better comment than that. I'm glad you enjoyed this and appreciate the vote up too.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for your kind comment DDE. Yes you're right, "Love can be found anywhere".


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

Jodah, you've outdone yourself! This is creative, funny and quite believable. I love the frozen screen at the end.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

Awesome and entertaining write John!


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

Oh, this is too good. You're very clever, John! Sharing this!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

Whoa, lQQk out Walt Disney, Jodah is good!


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 2 years ago from Louisiana

A clever take on Snow White and Prince Charming. I love once upon a time by the way and fairy tales.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Haha thanks Shauna. I am continually trying different things lately. I'm glad you enjoyed, particularly the ending.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading Audrey, glad you enjoyed this.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks so much Flourish, glad you liked this one, and I appreciate the share.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Haha thanks Ruby. That's kind, but I don't think Disney has to look over his shoulder just yet.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading Nikki, glad you enjoyed. I like those things too but don't tell anyone.


Suzanne Day profile image

Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

This is the best poem I have read this year!!! Voted up and awesome and shared and it kept me reading right until the end. You are an amazing poet.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Wow, Suzanne, do you mean that? Best poem this year, what can I say. Thank you for that wonderful comment. It means a lot to me.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

Such beautiful creativity in responsive poetry between two characters.

The theme, the lines and the ending too are all delightful.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

That warning sure got us in here fast...good thinking! lol Great original poem and a lot of fun. Busy day yesterday but knew you had a good one waiting so got here soon as I could. Summer chores!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

@ MsDora, thank you very much for reading. I am glad you enjoyed this slightly different poem.

@ Jackie, hope you are getting a chance to relax now. Glad you got here to read this one and the warning worked to attract you. I am pleased it was worth the read. Thanks.


Ghaelach 2 years ago

I take my hat of to you John, a wonderful piece of old fashioned poetry.

That coming from someone that's not a poetry fan is something. I saw your name and knew it had to be something special.

Ghaelach


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you Ghaelach, your kind comment is much appreciated. I'll make you a poetry fan yet...lol.


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 2 years ago from Lagos

wow! you nailed it.

this is awesome. truth mixed with humor.

you are right in all you said.

and i chuckled all through...

"Most of them are on-line sharks

And women are their prey"

you made a good point here.

good job, Sir.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Glad you enjoyed this poem Alexander. It is always a pleasure to receive your kind and insightful comments.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

you know Jodah I just love the concept for this hub.. yeah an adult fairy tale indeed. :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks Frank, just had an idea and thought I'd try something a little different.


sujaya venkatesh profile image

sujaya venkatesh 2 years ago

a good one jo


MG Singh profile image

MG Singh 2 years ago from Singapore

Nice poem


Michelle Widmann 2 years ago

Very cool poem. It's interesting for me to look at it through the lens of gender norms, which is one of my favourite topics, and just to see how girls expect certain things of men and how men expect certain things of women -- defensively speaking, in this poem. Usually people focus on more positive expectations, but I was picking up a not-so-common perspective, of how each gender is judgemental and wary of the other for certain stereotypes. Again, very cool!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading Michelle and also for offering such an insightful comment. It's interesting to hear the perspective of someone who has studied gender norms.


Aneegma profile image

Aneegma 2 years ago

LOL this was very amusing and a wonderful way to end my day. Nicely done voted up too!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you very much for reading this Aneegma. Glad it gave you a smile at the end of the day. I appreciate your kind comment and vote up.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 2 years ago

Wow your a master at work. Vivid, creative and powerful. I would love to see your poem turned into a movie. Wishing you great success. I love your imagination the most.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Hey Dream On, what an amazing comment, thank you....a movie, really? Oops hold on...got a call...Steven Spielberg on the line...lol. Seriously, I really appreciate you kind words.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

I love your use of Snow White for the dating game example. Very creative and amusing. I see truths within the lines, so glad I don't have to use online matchmaking sites.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you teaches, I agree I'd hate to be playing the Internet dating game too. Glad you enjoyed.


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 2 years ago from Australia

Cute poem about internet dating, well done!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you stricktlydating. Sounds like you should be an expert on dating too.


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

How clever to write a fairy tale about internet dating, You have so many neat hubs with great poetry subjects. Your imagination is astounding and full of original thought. I could read your poetry forever, Thanks for sharing your originality. Blessings

Audrey


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Oh Audrey, what a kind comment. It is appreciative readers like you to make writing a delight. Blessings back.


Katie Cross profile image

Katie Cross 2 years ago from Charleston SC

I loved this!!!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thanks for reading Katie. Glad you liked it.


Anita lesic profile image

Anita lesic 2 years ago from Zagreb

Great poem ;) Voted Up :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you Anita, glad you enjoyed this. Appreciate the vote up too.


SAQIB6608 profile image

SAQIB6608 22 months ago from HYDERABAD PAKISTAN

Well Brother John I enjoyed this poem !! Such a light humour !! Written with ease !! Great Job done and very well Organised hub !! Thumbs UP


Jodah profile image

Jodah 22 months ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you SAQIB glad this gave you a smile. I appreciate your kind words and vote up.


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 21 months ago from New Delhi, India

Lovely poem, nicely expressed!

How imaginative to write a fairy tale poem about Internet dating!

Written with such ease, since you are so good at poetry. An enjoyable read, Voted up and thanks!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 21 months ago from Queensland Australia Author

Thank you for reading this Chitrangada. It was fun writing this. I'm glad it worked for you. I appreciate the vote up too.


suraj punjabi profile image

suraj punjabi 14 months ago from jakarta

How you made the connection between Snow White and the seven dwarfs with online dating is mind blowing. What an excellent poem. I wonder what inspired you to connect those two.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 14 months ago from Queensland Australia Author

Suraj, sometimes my mind just totally amazes me :) Thanks for reading and enjoying this.

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    Jodah profile image

    John Hansen (Jodah)699 Followers
    277 Articles

    John has been writing poetry since his school days. He was awarded "Poet of the Year 2014" Hubby Awards and has had two poems become songs.



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