Interview with Redneck

Interview with Redneck

Yes, I know it may not be politically correct to use the term, Redneck, but my friend, Gus the Redneck – that’s what Gus calls himself – is a gentleman and a scholar. In fact it was he who suggested I might want to interview a Redneck.

Now how do I go about finding a specific Redneck to interview? I could put an ad in the newspaper – but few folks read the classified ads any more. So I picked up a copy of the book by Jeff Foxworthy, the comedian, “You Might be a Redneck if . . .” to learn how I could recognize a Redneck in the flesh.

Redneck Car Alarm

Here are a few of Jeff’s interesting observations:

“You might be a redneck if …
… your working television sits on top of your non-working television.

… you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without.

… you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side.

… you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education."

Armed with this new information, now I had some idea what to look for. I learned there was a fellow who called himself a Redneck staying with his daughter just a few miles away. I drove there and asked to speak to him – a Mr. McCoy.

His daughter said he was in Hollywood making a movie for television about the Hatfields and the McCoys. “Is he going to appear in the film?” I asked. “No,” she said, “he’s not an actor. He’s a technical consultant.”

I asked if she knew of any other Rednecks I might visit and learned that a genuine, real, live Redneck might be found at the Last Chance Saloon at the edge of town. The tiny bar was deserted when I entered except for a bartender and a lone small figure huddled at a table in a dark corner.

me – Mr. Redneck, I presume. Mr. McCoy’s daughter said I might find you here.
Mr. Redneck – Why don’t you call me Tom?
me – Why do you hang out in this remote dark place, Tom?
Tom – Because I’m a little paranoid about meeting people for the first time.
me – Is that why you are wearing that hoodie that covers your face and body?
Tom(Sarcastically) Very perceptive. Yeah, some folks want to shoot me on sight.
me – Why?

Genuine Redneck . . . Turkey

Tom – Because … (pauses dramatically as he removes hoodie) … I’m a genuine redneck …. A wild redneck turkey, that is!

me(in shock) Well, I wanted to interview a genuine redneck and now I have found one. Would you be willing to share some redneck turkey facts and trivia with me?
Tom – Positively, I’m a proud member of the N.R.A.
me(astonished) The National Rifle Association?
Tom – Of course not – I’m referring to the National Redneck Association. We redneck turkeys are a proud lot. Have you never noticed how proudly we strut?
me – Yes, I have. Your self-confident swagger is hard to ignore.

Tom in all his colorful glory
Tom in all his colorful glory
Woman wearing snood popular in the 40s
Woman wearing snood popular in the 40s

Why do turkeys strut?

Tom – Our 18 tail feathers – 12 to 15 inches long – form a large, prominent fan when we strut. We strut our stuff like peacocks during the spring breeding season to attract turkeys of the female persuasion. Pretty impressive, no?

me – Tom, you are a stunning sight.
Tom – If all our tail feathers are the same length, we are adult turkeys or toms. If the middle tail feathers are longer than the rest, you are looking at a young male turkey or what is called a jake.

me – If I’m not being too personal, what is that long red … uh, fleshy growth that hangs down from your forehead over your beak?
Tom – That’s called a snood.
me – I thought a snood was a sort of netlike cap worn by a school cafeteria worker – to keep her hair in place.

Turkey with snood, wattle and caruncles
Turkey with snood, wattle and caruncles
Human with wattle - no snood
Human with wattle - no snood

Tom – True, but they don’t also have that fleshy growth under their throat called a wattle.
me – Some people do.
Tom – I know but I was trying to be kind. And their snood and wattle aren’t bright red like mine.

me – Is yours always so red?
Tom – Only when I want to attract a hen (female turkey). Or fight another male turkey. Then my snood and my wattle and my caruncles become engorged with blood and turn bright red or at times, bright blue.

me – Caruncles?
Tom – Those are the fleshy growths or bumps all over my head and neck. Because of these three features, turkeys cannot keep a secret.
me – Why is that?

Tom – As you already know, when I’m excited all three of these growths turn bright red. But if I’m scared, they may turn blue. And if I’m feeling ill, they may become pale and colorless.

Wild turkey hens also have these same growths but they don’t put on a show to highlight their assets. Like Lady Gaga.

Domesticated turkeys
Domesticated turkeys
Turkey roosting in tree
Turkey roosting in tree

Can Turkeys Fly?

Tom – A wild turkey like me can fly a short distance (up to a quarter of a mile) at a speed of up to 55 miles per hour, and run at a speed of up to 25 miles per hour. But domesticated turkeys, those raised on turkey farms, are usually unable to fly. And they cannot run very fast either.

me – Why not?

Tom – They are raised on farms for profit and become so fattened up they weigh twice what a wild turkey does. They are not as colorful either since the great majority of domesticated turkeys are bred to have plain white feathers. Our darker colors help us blend into the woods.

me – Where do wild turkeys live?
Tom – Our ideal habitat is a woodland or savanna where we can fly beneath the canopy tree tops and find perches. We spend the night roosting in trees.

Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber
Tom with Nicole and Katie
Tom with Nicole and Katie
Turkey hen with two poults
Turkey hen with two poults

Why do Turkeys Gobble?

Tom – Only male turkeys gobble; hens make a clicking sound. The gobble is a mating call for toms. When hens hear us they know we are hot to trot, turkey trot, that is. We also gobble when we hear loud noises and when we settle in for the night.

Our gobble also announces our presence to competing toms. Sometimes you can hear us a mile away.

me – I have heard hens yelp. Do toms yelp, too?
Tom – Hens yelp and jakes often yelp but the other sounds that toms make are clucks, purrs, cackles and ‘kee-kees.' Also, a low-pitched drumming sound and a ‘spit’ which is expelling air from an air sac in our chest. We produce very unusual sounds – like Justin Bieber.

After mating, hens prepare nest sites which are shallow dirt depressions surrounded by vegetation to conceal them. Hens lay a clutch of 10 to 14 eggs, usually one per day.

The eggs are incubated for at least 28 days. The poults are precocial and nidifugous, leaving the nest very quickly – about 12 to 24 hours after hatching.

me – Nidifugous? That’s a fifty dollar word.
Tom (Laughs) Yes, I looked it up on the turkey search engine, Gobble. The word comes from the Latin nidus for nest and fugere meaning to flee.

me – How come turkey eggs are not available at the supermarket?
Tom – Turkeys are not the egg-producing machines that chickens are. It takes them longer than chickens to start producing eggs, and they produce far fewer eggs. Hens also tend to be more protective and will stay with the eggs until they hatch.

Christopher Columbus
Christopher Columbus

Where did the turkey get its name?

Tom – There are several theories you can choose from:

• Christopher Columbus gave turkeys the name, titka, which is the word for peacock in the Tamil language of India. Chris was a little confused; he thought the New World was connected to India.

• One of the Native American names for turkey is firkee.
• The wild turkey's call often sounds like turk-turk-turk.
• The Hebrew word tukki means big bird or pheasant bird.

me – I have learned that part of the scientific name for the turkey – genus: meleagris – is Greek for guineafowl.
Tom – Did you learn that from Gobble?

me – No, from Google.
Tom – Whatever. It’s true, because when Europeans first encountered us in the Americas, they thought we were a type of guineafowl which were also known as turkey fowl because they were imported to Central Europe through Turkey. The name, turkey fowl, shortened to 'turkey', became our name.

Tom and his posse
Tom and his posse

What do turkeys eat?

me – Do you have a favorite food?
Tom – I prefer lobster and filet mignon. Just kidding! We are omnivorous and can climb shrubs and small trees to feed on acorns, nuts, and various seeds as well as berries, roots and insects.

Occasionally we consume small reptiles such as lizards and snakes and amphibians like small frogs. My favorites are turtles … (laughing hysterically) chocolate turtles!

Sometimes we feed in cow pastures … very carefully … visit backyard bird feeders, and enjoy scavenging seeds after a harvest. Our young poults eat insects, berries, seeds and grasses.

me – Who are the worst predators of turkey eggs and nestlings?
Tom – Raccoons, opossums, skunks, gray foxes, groundhogs, other rodents, rat snakes, gopher snakes and pine snakes are the worst enemies of our very young. Predators of adults include coyotes, bobcats, cougars, eagles, Great Horned Owls, domestic and wild dogs, and red foxes.

Don’t take this personally, but humans are at the top of the list. During Thanksgiving each year about 690 million pounds of turkey are eaten. But we understand. That is our Karma.

me – You certainly have a positive attitude.
Tom – I can answer that with an old joke: Question – Is turkey good for your health? Answer – Not if you are the turkey!

Six subspecies of Wild Turkey (Meleagris gallopavo)

• Eastern Wild Turkey - most common, ranges entire eastern half of U.S.

• Osceola Wild Turkey or Florida Wild Turkey - found on Florida peninsula.

• Rio Grande Wild Turkey - ranges through Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado and parts of northwestern states.

• Merriam’s Wild Turkey - ranges along the Rocky Mountains and neighboring prairies of Wyoming, Montana and South Dakota.

• Gould's Wild Turkey - found throughout central portion of Mexico into parts of New Mexico and Arizona.

• South Mexican Wild Turkey - found only in Mexico

Top turkey-eating countries

How they measure up, per person per year::

• Israel – 25 lb 6 oz per person per year

• United States – 17 lb

• France – 13 lb

• United Kingdom – 10 lb 9 oz

• European Union – 8 lb 13 oz

• Canada – 4 lb 14 oz

Turkey Facts and Turkey Trivia

• Archaeological fossil evidence suggests turkeys roamed North America as far back as 10 million years ago. Native Americans domesticated them about 2,000 years ago.

• Spanish explorers took domesticated turkeys from Mexico to Europe in 1519.

• The 16th-century English navigator, William Strickland, is generally credited with introducing the turkey into England. His family coat of arms includes a tom turkey.

• The Pilgrims brought domesticated turkeys from England to America in 1620.

• In the early 1930s the wild turkey was on the verge of extinction with an estimated 30,000 remaining. Over-hunting reduced them to an endangered species. Today, more than 7 million roam across North America thanks to wildlife restoration programs,

• A male turkey is called a tom or gobbler and a female turkey a hen. A young turkey is a poult. A large group of turkeys is called a flock.

• Mature turkeys have 3,500 to 5,000 feathers.

• Each turkey’s foot has three toes. Both toms and hens have spurs. On hens, the appendages are small buttons. On toms, spurs are used to fend off other males when gathering a harem of hens. Spurs may grow to about an inch and a half long.

• The dewlap connects the neck to the head just under the beak and is present on both sexes. Like the snood, the wattle, and the caruncles, the dewlap turns bright red when the tom gets excited.

• While strutting, the tom drags his wing feathers on the ground as he puffs out his breast feathers and fans his tail. Savvy turkey hunters can read the tracks and drag marks from where a turkey has been strutting.

• Wild turkeys have excellent vision during the day but don't see as well at night.

• The turkey’s ears are simply small holes found just behind the eyes, and wild turkeys can home in on noises from a mile away.

• Wild turkey toms normally weigh from 11 to 24 pounds and measure 39 to 49 inches in length. Hens are typically smaller at 5 1/2 to 12 pounds and 30 to 37 inches long. The wingspan ranges from 49 to 57 inches.

• Turkey eggs are tan with speckles.

• The gizzard is a part of a turkey’s stomach that contains tiny stones to help it grind up food for digestion.

Large domesticated turkey
Large domesticated turkey
Thanksgiving turkey
Thanksgiving turkey

Common domesticated breeds include:

Bronze

Broad Breasted Bronze

Broad Breasted Large White

Black

Bourbon Red

White Holland

Narraganset

Beltsville Small White

Domesticated Turkey Trivia

• It takes 17 to 20 weeks to raise a domesticated turkey that weighs 22 pounds or more. That bird will have consumed around 66 pounds of feed.

• Since the first feast in 1621, Thanksgiving Day was not celebrated annually. In 1863, Sarah Josepha Hale encouraged Abraham Lincoln to set aside the last Thursday in November "as a day for national thanksgiving and prayer." In Canada, it is celebrated the second Monday in October.

• North Carolina produces 61 million turkeys annually, more than any other state. Minnesota and Arkansas are number two and three.

• Estimated number of domestic turkeys raised in the United States in 2011 was 248 million.

• 90% of American homes eat turkey on Thanksgiving Day. 50% eat turkey on Christmas.

• Domestic turkeys are friendly and curious. They become friendly with the farmer, but gobble at strangers. They are easily frightened and may hurt themselves by flying into walls or piling atop each other, causing one or more birds to smother.

Aztec drawing of turkey
Aztec drawing of turkey

More Turkey Trivia

• There is no evidence that turkey was eaten at the first Thanksgiving, a three-day meal shared between the pilgrims and the Wamponoag tribe in 1621. It is more likely that they ate venison and seafood.

• Native Americans may have taught the Pilgrims how to cook cranberries and different kinds of corn, squash and pumpkin dishes.

• The origins of stuffing are not certain. Some experts say it's a traditional dish made from bread and vegetables which probably originated in Eastern Europe.

• In Mexico, the turkey was once considered a sacrificial bird.

• The Aztecs in Mexico considered ‘huexolotlin’ (the turkey) so important that they dedicated two religious festivals a year to the birds.

• The heaviest turkey ever raised weighed 86 pounds -- about the size of a large German Shepherd -- and was grown in England (Source: Texas Agricultural Extension Service).

• Eastern Native American tribes consumed both the eggs and meat of the turkey, sometimes turning the latter into a type of jerky to preserve it and make it last through cold weather.

• Many leaders, such as Catawba chiefs, traditionally wore turkey feather headdresses.

• Significant members of the Muscogee Creek and Wampanoag tribes wore turkey feather cloaks.

• Movements of wild turkeys inspired the Caddo tribe's turkey dance.

• But the Apache Indians considered the turkey timid and would not eat it nor use its feathers on their arrows.

Benjamin Franklin 1706 - 1790
Benjamin Franklin 1706 - 1790

Tom – Did you know that although he never said so publicly, Benjamin Franklin voiced opposition to the Bald Eagle as a national symbol of the U.S. in a letter to his daughter, Sarah Bache?

In 1784, Ben wrote ”… the Turkey is in Comparison (to the Bald Eagle) a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America...”

Is that a positive endorsement or what? Have to fly now so I'll leave you with a chuckle I found on Gobble: Question – If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Answer – A goblet.

me – Thanks for the fun- and fact-filled interview, Tom.

Important Note: Chris was even more confused than we knew. According to my learned friend and Tamil scholar, the correct word for peacock in the Tamil language is 'mayil.' Thank you, Docmo.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Includes most-needed, valuable information for older workers.

Tom's Turkey Quiz

More by this Author


Comments for Interview with Redneck 139 comments

Angela Brummer profile image

Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

I am chuckling as I write but, next time just ask me! I'm a real redneck... LOL


JThomp42 4 years ago

Hummmmm Interesting to say the least.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

This is funny, interesting and enlightening. I see wild turkeys all the time around these parts. TN has a large population of them. They are fun to watch.


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 4 years ago from Los Angeles

Another one of your great interviews with animals, full of interesting facts and with your personal and priceless humorous twist

I have to confess, when I got the notification of your hub I was looking forward to an interview with a real redneck (a person I mean). That would have been hilarious and by far less difficult to research - just go to the forums on HP. and you will find more than what we can handle.


mollymeadows profile image

mollymeadows 4 years ago from The Shire

I learned something today! I live in a heavily wooded area and sometimes groups of wild turkeys cross the yard. And yes, they run like lightning.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

You are so off the wall and hilarious! Voted up and across the universe!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

DR BJ! Another in the treasure chest of great interviews. I was looking forward to an interview with a redneck and got an interview with a real red-neck!

I always get a great, free education from you! Voted up, up and away!


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I love the way that you combine humor and animal facts, drbj! This hub is both entertaining and educational. Thanks for introducing us to Tom and for all the information about turkeys.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Haha Drbj, Redneck Car Alarm got some peeps laughin' right away! Hey drbj, if you see that McCoy around tell 'em that was a darn good movie- only there were too many horses in it that should have been mules haha! Wattle Snood, that sounds like an archaic redneck name don't it. Didn't know N.C. was top producer, how 'bout that. You know them gobblers are smart when they're bein' hunted, so they tell me. Funny interview and some righteous turkey facts n trivia drbj- you know how much Alastar loved this!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I wish I had a few poults to raise. They eat scorpions don't they?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are a genuine Redneck, Angela? Who knew? Not me. Next time I'll go right to the source. Thanks for the visit and the chuckling. Next to gobbling, one of my favorite sounds.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you JThomp42. With your 'Hummmmm Interesting' comment, you win the succinct statement award. Are you usually this voluble? Just wonderin'. Thanks for finding Tom.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Becky. If you see wild turkeys around all the time, you must be living in the Tennessee countryside. Or next to a redneck bar. They ARE fun to watch.

Thanks for the 'funny, interesting and enlightening.' Tom and his harem thank you, too.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

drbj, I do not live in the countryside. I live in a town about fifty-five miles from Nashville and there is a small piece of woods next to the apt. complex I live in. There are deer, turkey's , skunks, raccoons, oppossoms, and armadillos living in those woods. Less than an acre and less than a block from Wal-mart. The wildlife gets around here.


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Redneck, I get it. Great turkey facts. This has lots of fun interwoven.


Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

I laghed so hard! I enjoyed everyword of it! Thankyou for the great laugh and education about turkeys! Well done!


AnimalWrites profile image

AnimalWrites 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Very funny drbj, but also great information on turkeys. We don't have wild ones in the UK, ours all live on farms in Norfolk hoping that December never comes, but now I know what to look for if I do see one if I ever go hiking in the US. Would a bear go for me or the turkey first?


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Doc BJ,

I loved the interview and the follow-up turkey-trivia. :)

My last trip home, I went with my sister to the Wabash bottoms, and we found a group of them (we counted 17) in the high grass on a levee.

They've got beautiful feathers, and they're neat to watch in the wild, but once they breach the wood line, they're nearly invisible.

Cool hub! Voted up and shared!

femme


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

drbj, You write the most interesting but unusual hubs. They are always entertaining, and now I know a lot more about turkeys! I can't imagine one weighing 86 #s; that is almost obscene. I loved the hub, of course voted up, useful and funny. Pam


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

When I saw the title I knew I was in for a laugh, but turkeys were not what I expected. This is a perfect way of basting that turkey. Lol. I love the way you give us all the facts and info in such a humerous way. Loved the snood and wattle comments :)

Voting up and pushing all the buttons.


Teylina profile image

Teylina 4 years ago

Love it, love it, love it! Such great info so well-spoken--really learned some terms hadn't thought of or heard since I was a kid and my granddaddy hunted wild turkey to eat--he refused to eat one "from behind a fence!" He loved those game turkeys!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

two of my favorie hub superstars in one - DRBJ and Gus the REDNECK - another world class hub interview and tribute by the legend herself and someone who has supported the epi-man with her loyalty and kindness - I am the luckiest guy in the world to have you in my life and I am also one of your luckiest readers too - sending you warmw wishes and good energy as always from lake erie time ontario canada 10:18am


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

A wild turkey about 6 feet tall ran up my neighbor's driveway when I was outside. Did you hear me scream? Up funny and awesome.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 4 years ago from USA

Good Doctor bj - This was probably the snoodiest hub you have ever perpetrated. I appreciate your loving dedication and all, but the real wattle of the thing remains feathered over. The moral of the tail is that real Rednecks can easily outfly the Wright brothers despite their typically rotund and unairworthy design.

By the way, Good Doctor, I went to the dictionary and looked up the word, aerodynamics, which has to do with flying turkeys and Rednecks who knew about making bicycles and thought they wanted to save on rubber tires by flying around like turkeys. In the highlighted box below the definition of "aerodynamics" was a word quite new to me - "cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine." I got the deal about "cyclo," understanding its relationship with the Wright brothers and all, but the rest of it blew up in my face. There is an obvious conspiracy afoot among you writers to attempt confusing us Rednecks.

In the words of our beloved Redneck forefront, foresayer, foreteller, fore-something-or-other, Payson Jones, "As to Rednecks and assorted other turkeys, he who laughs last does not catch on quickly."

Gus:-)))


samsons1 profile image

samsons1 4 years ago from Tennessee

Well written and most comical. Yes, we have them all over the foothills in east Tennessee and thankfully decorate our tables during Thanksgiving and Christmas as the main course during family gatherings. Voted up and funny, hats off to a delightful and amusing hub...


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

Amazing drbj. I hope you don't mind if I groan at Gobble and Bieber? No, didn't think you would. A wide ranging hub with tons of information, voted up and across.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

Very funny and very informative. Up, funny, and interesting.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

This was another fun read, plus educational. I'm with Tom. I loooove chocolate turtles.The quiz was fun too. I always have turkey on Christmas and Thanksgiving, plus all the fattening goodies...Voted up in flight..


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

If only professors of zoology taught classes like this. What an absolute humdinger of a hub. The way you began( redneck search had me rolling in the aisles) and then comes the science , the history and all the trivia. A-may-zing! amount of research is one thin but the ability to put it all together in this entertaining package is signature drbj. I salute thee! voted way up and across!

BTW I noticed that in the 'naming' section you have said that the word for peacock in Tamil is 'titka' - actually the Tamil word is 'mayil' and 'thokai' is used to describe the beautiful feathers This got borrowed by Hebrew scholars as 'Tukki' - this is actually in the Bible ( shows the antiquity of Tamil civilization) where King Solomon's ships travel to exotic lands and bring back 'ivory, apes and peacock'(3 Kings 10:22) In the original Hebrew text the word for peacock is 'Tukki'. As Tamil is the tongue I originally grew up in - I am bit of a closet scholar - sorry!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

You are the greatest teacher on the planet! Who else could take a Turkey and turn it into an award-winning read filled with laughter and history. I laughed so hard when I read this: "Wild turkey hens also have these same growths but they don’t put on a show to highlight their assets. Like Lady Gaga."

I have learned a heap from your hub. For instance - I went about looking for a "Tom" completely the wrong way. Now I know what to look for.

1. The color of his snood.

2. The color of his caruncles

3. The color of his wattle.

They just don't teach you these things in "Love 101."

An epic hub my friend! Sharing this all over the place!


wheelinallover profile image

wheelinallover 4 years ago from Central United States

My ancestors ate rednecks and I still do. Mr. Foxworthy has nothing on you. For those who aren't familiar; wild turkey tastes different than those bred for turkey sandwiches.

It is also interesting to note they can and do live from sea level to above a kilometer high on mountains. Living as I do on the edge of the great plains they are almost constant companions. The only time they are hard to find is during hunting season.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

Goodbye Google, I'm shifting allegiance to Gobble! :)


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 4 years ago

Thanks drbj - after reading this - I don't want to fly with eagles - much rather run with the turkeys!!!LOL


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Sometimes I wonder if all the wires are going to the right terminals then I remember your sense of humor.

TFP


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

My dear Petra, It's so rewarding to see you here. Thank you for your sublime and gracious comments. You and they are much appreciated.

My original thought was to interview a genuine Redneck, a person, that is. But then I wisely realized that could be a biased, one-sided affair and unfair to those of the Redneck persuasion.

Besides, I am not aware of any genuine Redneck turkeys who retain legal representatives skilled in litigation. And I stay away from the Forums - if I can't learn something from the writers or enjoy what I read, I abstain. Hope all is well with you, m'luv.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Once again, dear drbj, you infuse your sense of comedy into an aesthetically unappetizing bird and create a delicious "gobble gobble" recipe that rates haute cuisine. Although, I am an animal lover already, your interviews make your subjects, some with "faces only a mother could love" so adorable, I am certain you have the power to increase the vegan populace, drbj. Pure, unadulterated fun and laughter that teaches us it's not only "Kids say the Darndest things"!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

We have those redneck turkeys down here as well. Proud birds.

'Rednecks' was the name given to all British soldiers by our Boere (white South-Africans) during the British-Boer wars. Ever since then all English people are called 'Rednecks', nowadays, of course, tongue in the cheek. (Time heals all wounds.) The reason why the Boere called the soldiers Rednecks was, of course, in reference to their red uniforms. Go figure, going to war in shocking red uniforms! As far as I remember they did not make the same mistake during the 2nd war...They've changed to khaki-uniforms, so the Boere called them Khaki's. So today the English in our country are still 'Khaki's' or 'Rednecks', and the Afrikaans people are 'Boere'. (Boere is the Afrikaans word for 'farmers'.

drbj, as always, voted up, informative, interesting and funny :)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I've always liked turkeys. It seems almost pity to eat them. I guess it's their curse to taste delicious. Thanks for all those really interesting Turkey facts. I saw a program once about a man who lived with wild turkeys. They were all male turkeys and they lived quite happily with him for about a year. He even used to sleep with them. But then something changed, I think to do with the turkeys growing up. They attacked him, then and chased him away.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What fun that must be, Molly, to watch wild turkeys race like lightning across your yard. We have lots of wild turkeys where I live, too, but they mostly race on the streets ... in their sports cars. :) Thanks for stopping by.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

How lucky you are, Becky, to have the comforts of urban living as well as the enjoyment of watching all those wild animals that live in the woods near you. And a Walmart, too? That's as good as it gets! Thanks for setting me straight.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, Will, so I'm 'off the wall and hilarious'? That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. And thank you for the up and across the universe! That's really nice, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Yup, Dex, I aim to please so I did interview a real, genuine Redneck. Thank you for that sublime comment: "Another in the treasure chest of great interviews.' It doesn't hardly get better than that. Happy to provide the free redneck education. And thank you my friend, for the Up.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

It's my pleasure, Alicia, to introduce you to Tom and his turkey posse. Thank you for your very kind comments. You already know that being both entertaining and educational is my goal. Tom says, Hi.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Alastar. Glad to see you appreciated the doggy car alarm photo - I thought it was a perfect introduction to the subject. So you enjoyed that Hatfield and McCoy TV movie, too? Now don't tell me you know Wattle Snood, too. He's one of the West Virginia Snoods. Married a Hattie Caruncle from Viginny if I'm not mistaken. (If I ever write a fictional piece about Rednecks, you know Wattle Snood will be the protagonist, thanks to you, my friend.

Thanks for loving this funny interview - providing the turkey facts and trivia has been my pleasure.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I think poults eat just about any insect they can find. If you would like a few to raise, Lela, let's ask Becky to trap some for you. She says she has turkeys racing through the woods near her on a regular basis. We'll ask Molly, too, she has turkeys running through her yard. Mercy me!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Tammy, for appreciating my Redneck 'switch.' And for finding these turkey facts interwoven with fun. That's the best kind of learning, don't you think?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

How nice to meet you, Rusti, 'specially since you laughed so hard and enjoyed every word. Providing the laughs and education was my pleasure, m'dear. Thanks for the visit. You might also like to read my Interview with Alligator and with Hippopotamus, and others.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

How nice to meet you, AnimalWrites - what a clever name. Thanks for enjoying all this turkey information and finding it funny, too. I learned from you that your turkeys live on farms in the UK. If you hike anywhere in the areas I list for the U.S., you will probably see wild turkeys at one time or another.

You ask an interesting question: "Would a bear go for you or the turkey first?" Guess it would depend on how hungry the bear is. And how large.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Haha Drbj, the Snood-Caruncles are a mighty fine clan and AP can hardly wait for the redneck fic-piece featuring that up-standing fella! You rock my friend!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Femme. How neat that must have been to watch 17 turkeys doing their thing nearby on the levee. They are colorful and their camouflage helps them to blend in perfectly with their surroundings when in the woods.

Thank you for loving the interview, the turkey-trivia, the Up vote and sharing. You are cool, my friend.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Pam. Thank you, m'dear, for your gracious comments. Delighted you know more now about turkeys and loved this hub. I hope the family that raised that obscenely heavy turkey had folks over when they ate that turkey dinner. Else can you imagine eating turkey leftovers for a month or more?

Thank you also for the Up and the button-pushing. Tom says thanks, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Happy I gave you a laugh with the title, Rosemary, and didn't disappoint you with the info and humor that followed.

Thanks for enjoying the snood and wattle comments, too, - one of my more inspired creations. It's always my pleasure to have you visit and vote Up accompanied by various buttons.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Teylina, you really know how to leave a sublime comment. "Love it, love it, love it!" is one of my all-time favorites, y'know.

Your granddaddy was one clever, well-spoken fellow. Love that expression - 'wouldn't eat a turkey from behind a fence.' Thanks for dropping by, m'dear.


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 4 years ago

I hope I haven't ruined my next Thanksgiving dinner after reading this...poor turkey.


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

Awesome and funny! I did not know that turkey has another name. Redneck, now I know. I always enjoy reading your hilarious interview with animals. Voted up and very informative. Thanks for sharing.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Colin, for your most gracious comments, and Gus, I'm certain thanks you, too. What a thrill to be called Hub superstars by the one and only Epigramman. It has been my pleasure to be your loyal fan. Delighted you enjoy my interviews and tributes. Makes me feel warm all over. Trust me.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

By George, Patti, I do believe I heard you scream from across the continent. A wild 6 foot tall turkey ran up your neighbor's driveway and you were outside at the time? Shut upppp! Did you get his name? Just wonderin'. Thank you, m'luv, for the Up, funny and awesome.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are absolutely correct, Gus, this was the 'snoodiest hub' I ever wrote. But it's your fault, m'dear. You know I couldn't resist your challenge to write about a Redneck.

Your comments are all so hilarious I shall memorize them for the future when I can claim them as mine. Heh, heh. I think my definition of a moral for this story might be that even 'turkeys' can fly given enough motivation. Whatcha think?

Regarding that $25 word, ' "cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine,' commonly known as the explosive, RDX, no wonder it 'blew up in your face.' Heh, heh.

Payson Jones may have said, "He who laughs last does not catch on quickly,' but I prefer to believe that 'He or she who laughs . . . lasts! In fact, it's one of my many mottos. Thanks for the challenge and the comments - you ARE the man!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, samsons, how nice to see you here. You certainly chose the best place to live in the foothills of east Tennessee surrounded by delicious wild turkeys. It makes your choice of holiday dinners so much easier and you don't have to stand in line at the supermarket.

Thank you for your gracious comments and the Up and funny vote.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, John. Yes, please do groan - as much as you want - at Gobble and Bieber since to me that indicates your appreciation of sublime comedy.

Thanks for your kind words of '... wide ranging hub with tons of information ... amazing' and the Up and across. You do know how to leave outstanding comments.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, KKG. Happy to see you here and appreciate your outstanding comments: 'very funny and very informative and interesting.'' You are SO discerning. And thanks, too, for the Up.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Ruby, for finding this a fun and educational read. So you loooove chocolate turtles, too. So do I. So did the actress, Katherine Hepburn (way before your time) who once said: "Happiness is ... finding one more chocolate turtle in the box." What a smart woman!

I like turkey on the holidays also plus stuffing and cranberries, two of my favorite sides. Tom, on the other hand, is not fond of holidays. Loved the creative 'up in flight' vote, m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Dear Docmo, I always enjoy your visits and comments and this time is no exception. Delighted I had you 'rolling in the aisles.' Your laudable sentiments are music to my ears. Enjoyed especially your anticipated positive reaction to my rednect research. Thank you for the salute and the vote 'up and across.'

Thank you, my scholar, physician friend also for pointing out that Chris was confused on more than one subject. Yes, mayil is the correct word for peacock in the Tamil language. I pointed that out in an added Note and 'thank you at the end of the hub. Just keep truckin' - an antique expression from the Ice Age. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

My dear Martie, what sweet approbation and appreciation of my redneck research. "Greatest teacher on the planet?" I can retire now ... but I won't. Still have miles to go!

Delighted you found this 'an award-winning read filled with laughter and history.' If I ever publish these, that comment will be on the cover - attributed to you, of course. Don't think Lady G might feel the same way, though.

Happy I could provide the clues for Tom-searching. For the two-legged version, I might also add: 1 - No discernible baggage; 2 - Steady dependable income (trust funds are good); 3 - No present entanglements; 4 - positive attitude and sense of humor. For myself, the requirements are simpler: 1 - can breathe without the aid of oxygen tank; and 2- is erect (decipher than any way you will). :)

Thank you my love for the 'epic hub' and feel free to share all over the universe.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, wheelinallover. Since you appear to know firsthand, do you find eating wild turkey more satisfying than domestic? Just wonderin'.

Thank you for adding that redneck turkeys live on various elevations. How interesting it must be to have them as almost constant companions. I won't menton to Tom if you don't that you may have hunted them.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Feline, dear, you are so clever. Yes, by all means give Gobble a try though I must warn you, at present it only seems to work for turkeys.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You might want to reconsider your choice, psychicdog.

Eagles fly in the clouds up there where the air is thinner.

Turkeys run more on the ground and often end up as dinner.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Jim, It's funny you say that. Sometimes I wonder if all the wires are going to the right terminals, too. Then I realize I haven't paid the electric bill. :)

Thanks for the visit and the sense of humor comment.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Such lovely comments, Amy, from such a lovely writer. Thank you. I do appreciate your visits and enjoy reading every word of your sublime, imaginative comments.

Yes, the turkey may be aesthetically unappetizing but as you point out their mothers love them. And I enjoy making them as well as the other animals, birds and spiders I have interviewed, more lovable as well as anthropomorphic.

I don't know if my hubs can increase the vegan population, but I am rewarded if readers find, as you say, 'pure, unadulterated fun and laughter' while reading them. Have a GREAT weekend.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, lovable Martie. So the Boere gave the name. 'rednecks,' to British soldiers in long ago wars? What a coincidence! American citizens gvae the name, 'redcoats.' to the British during the Revolutionary War. It was those same highly visible flaming red coats they wore during both events.

The UK probably saved many British soldiers when they changed the uniforms to khakis. Thanks for the history lesson.

I knew the term for South African settlers was Boere but called Boers in the U.S. Delighted you have proud, redneck turkeys in your area as well. Do Afrikaans tend to eat them on holidays? Just wonderin'.

Thanks you, m'luv, for the visit and the vote up, informative, interesting and funny.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Dear Audrey - VocalCoach. When I responded to your gracious comments, I addressed you as Martie instead of Audrey. Please forgive my mistake. It's those disconnected wires again. Hah!


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

Delightful blend of humor and interesting facts, written in your inimitable style, Dr. BJ. I especially got a big chuckle from Tom's reference to the "Gobble search engine."

By the way, I once met Jeff Foxworthy backstage after a standup performance, and he was very nice, polite and un-redneck-like in behavior. He did, however, share my southern drawl....

Voted UP, FUNNY and INTERESTING.

Jaye


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are so right, christopher, if turkeys did not taste so delicious they would enjoy much longer, peaceful lives. And now that so many people know how healthful turkey meat is, that does not bode well for their longevity.

That is an interesting story about a man who lived with turkeys. I know Tarzan lived with apes - and Jane - but turkey roomies? That's a new one. Maybe his roommates became disenchanted with the fellow because their hens were paying him too much attention.

Thanks for the visit and it was my pleasure to supply the interesting turkey facts.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 4 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

I think I might have gotten more value from a pick up truck than I have from my education.I recall that the term redneck was originally a derogatory term for farmers as they got sunburned on the neck when plowing. Just something from a lit course when discussing something by Faulkner. Interesting and amusing hub. sharing.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Alastar, for the return visit. You know the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of a Snood-Caruncles tale, I'll see what I can do. We 'rockers' have to stick together.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Gee, sheila, I hope I haven't ruined your next Thanksgiving turkey dinner. Will it help if I tell you that Tom says he thinks he loves you? He's a sucker for a beauty with a big heart.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to have provided you with the turkey-redneck connection, Thelma. Thank you for your delightful comments and the Up vote. Your appreciative response warms the caruncles of my heart, er ... I mean, the cockles of my heart. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Jaye for enjoying my 'delightful blend of humor and interesting facts, written in (my) inimitable style.' You do know the right things to say. Delighted you chuckled at the 'Gobble' search engine. Not sure yet whether it made Google laugh.

I've never met Jeff in person but I have watched his comedy show on TV at times. He is a funny fellow, with a lovely drawl and very creative material.

Thank you, m'dear, for the visit, the Up and the button-pushing.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You could be on the mark with your observation, Don. Often much of our education derives from the lessons we learn in real life. And a pickup truck is a valuable necessity.

I also read that the term, redneck, was originally used to describe the sunburned necks of hard-working farmers toiling in the fields. Although such farmers are on the verge of extinction due to the increasing mechanization of large farms, the term still lives.

Thanks for visiting and your very gracious comments. Yes, share by all means. Tom would like that.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

68% on the quiz, not so good...

What did one turkey say to the other?

"What's nood with you?"


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

That was very clever, nicomp. Wattle you think of next?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

You see what I did there? What's nood .... what snood...

It's kind of a turkey pun.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, I did, sweetie, I'm so proud of you. That is a very clever turkey pun and rearranging snood like that is also a perky turn.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

Wow! When I began this read, I did not realize that we'd be talking turkey! And lots of it I might add...more than any redneck like myself would have ever known about the species. Great interview, Doc....there were places in it where you sounded just like Jack Webb in Dragnet...just the facts, maam! WB


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

OMG! WOW! What an article! Firstly, I voted this up and all across. Well deserved I may add. This was everything rolled into one, just impressive. A fun article to read, great laughs, very useful information, what's not to love? I commend you on the job you have did with this article. This shows just how creative you can be. Once again, a fun awesome read.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Wayne, for the visit and the gracious comments. I knew a gentlemanly redneck like yourself would appreciate this 'ode' to redneck turkeys. You remember Jack Webb? OMG. They don't make detectives like that any more!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

drbj - Not to worry for the following reasons -

1. I would have a blast being Martie for a day

2. I call myself all kinds of names

3. I often find that my wires are either crossed, misplaced or have left the premises.

Hugs :-)


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 4 years ago from East Coast, United States

well I took the quiz, but as with most quizes could not bring myself to actually try to answer correctly - just wanted to think, if only for a moment, that turkeys can scuba dive...


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for understanding, Audrey. I can certainly identify with wires that have lost the premises ... unfortunately. Hubs backatacha, m'luv


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Dolores. If you don't mind, I will not relay to Tom your message about turkeys lacking scuba ability. He's perched on the bank of the river with snorkel, mask and fins and I would hate to be the one to deliver that cruel message.

Thanks for stopping by, m'dear.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Well drbj, this was a Laugh a Minute, as well as a Most Educational, and Informative read. I didn't do Badly on the quiz either. My cousin who was a teacher, before her retirement, once made the mistake of taking her 1st Graders to a Turkey Farmer two days BEFORE Thanksgiving...Gobble, Gobble, NOT! DON'T TELL TOM!

I've got to Vote this Hub UP!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

I did know a farmer with a scuba-diving turkey. The poor thing only had one leg. I asked the farmer what happened and he said 'we aren't going to eat him all at once."


ltfawkes profile image

ltfawkes 4 years ago from NE Ohio

Wow. I had to scroll all day to get down to this comment box. And all to do this:

"The poults are precocial and nidifugous" - Yeah. Tell me about it. I know just how they feel.


Sandyspider profile image

Sandyspider 4 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

Great redneck hub.


girishpuri profile image

girishpuri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

great share, voted up


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I never knew so much about Turkeys! I thought I was going to learn about Rednecks!

Interesting that the color changes on their wattles and caruncles changed colors either. We have several around here. They live in the trees that border the corn field and sometimes they wander out into the street. Traffic will line up for a mile while everyone waits for them to cross! lol

Up and everything - I always learn some interesting facts following you around!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Brava, b., for your good score on the Quiz. Delighted you found this a laugh a minute as well as informative and educational. That makes my morning - afternoon, too.

I guess your cousin, the teacher, soon realized the error of her ways as far as timing that visit of first graders to a turkey farm 2 days before Thanksgiving. Those poor kids will choke on their turkey meal ever more.

No, of course not, I couldn't tell Tom about this epidode - he would be devastated. Thanks for the visit, m'dear, your clever comments and the Up.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a treat to have you visit, thelyricwriter. Thank you for all your sublime comments. Feel free to visit any of my Interview or other hubs any old time.

With all your very gracious remarks - all absolutely true of course - you have made Tom and me very happy. Promise! And thank you for the Up. Tom just asked me to invite you to his Thanksgiving dinner - vegetarian, you know.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I think I know that farmer who owns a one-legged, scuba-diving turkey, nicomp. He writes on Hubpages under a pseudonym.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, ltfawlkes. Delighted that you took the time to visit and scroll down to the comments. Have you also felt 'precocial and nidifugous' like the poults? Just take two aspirin and those feelings will go away. Promise.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, sandyspider. Tom and I thank you for your visit and kind comment. Tom appreciates your brevity since he is the strong, silent type as well.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, girishpuri. Thank you for finding Tom the Redneck and me and the Up vote.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Was that a gotcha, Kelly, with the Rednecks that turned out to be Turkeys? That was the plan, maam.

How fortunate you are to live where several turkeys are nearby so you can observe their interesting behavior and color changes firsthand.

We have the same problem in the city where I live where turkeys take a long time to cross the streets and traffic has to wait. Only our turkeys are human. Heh, heh.

Thanks for the gracious comments, the following around and the Up and everything, m'dear.


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

Woah! I did not expect that! I had no idea turkeys could fly and honestly come to think of it I guess I barely knew anything about them at all. Way to keep the suspense running! Bravo!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

Very funny. I love the redneck twist - the redneck turkey. Great info about turkeys. Up and funny.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Qudsia, if you did not know much about turkeys before this hub, you are in good company. Most of us only know they are delicious to eat. Delighted you enjoyed learning that turkeys can fly and happy to provide the suspense with the answer. Thanks for the visit, m'luv, and the Bravo.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, KKGals, for loving the twist and the info and the Up and the funny. And you thought you were going to learn about Rednecks! Gotcha, m'dear.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

LOL! Rednecks are in a class all by themselves. They are so easy to mock. I just watched Deliverance a few days ago, need I say more? :)

I love your photo of Tom, Nicole and Katie. Haha! Tom should be the smaller turkey behind the two larger ones because they took him down...from one throw away phone to another. Ha!! Outstanding hub! Thanks to Gus for suggesting it!!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Very interesting and you really took me by surprise... I really thought we were going to be hearing about rednecks.. you know - the ones that date their cousins... But now that you did the whole switcharoo on me... I am really craving me some turkey right now! Interesting facts like usual!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 4 years ago from Canada

My goodness! Another hub's-worth of words in the comments! ...and another wonderful interview! Up, awesome, and shared


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You got that right, Linda. Rednecks are very easy to mock which gave me the whole idea in the first place when I looked at the abnormally red neck in a turkey photo. That movie, 'Deliverance,' was something else. I think of it whenever I hear someone strumming a banjo.

Yup, Tom was the smallest turkey of the three outmanuevered by both Nicole and Katie. Those caruncles will getya every time.

Thanks, m'dear, for the 'outstanding,' and thanks again to Gus for his suggestion in the first place.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Stacy, for visiting and finding this very interesting. So I took you by surprise when you were expecting perhaps something more like the new game the whole family can play . . . incest!

I apologize, m'dear, but I couldn't let an opening go by. I appreciate your visit and comment, y'know.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Welcome to my Redneck world, Elle, I always enjoy your visits. Yes, I know, my hubs often provoke a hubs-worth of comments. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for finding my interview wonderful and awesome. And for the Up and the sharing. Tom thanks you, too.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I guess I missed this when you published it. I've just spent 45 minutes reading comments and your responses to the comments. Your responses are as funny as your Hub! OK, I thought you were going to interview one of my country cousins. I come from a long line of rednecks, you know. Turns out you were going to educate us about turkeys!

Thanks for the entertainment tonight. Since I no longer have cable, I use HubPages for my entertainment....you did your part tonght. Mary


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

So happy you found Tom and me, mary. Thanks for recognizing the ingenuity of my commenters. I try to match them with funny responses but the score is still tied.

What fun that you have genuine Rednecks as ancestors. And now you are a redneck turkey maven as well. Delighted to provide your ''entertainment' for the evening. What a lovely comment to make. Thank you.


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 4 years ago

You did it again! Making me laugh out loud is becoming a specialty of yours. Voted up, awesome and funny!!!!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, toknowinfo, your gracious comment touches me. I love to make folks laugh, especially out loud. Thank you for the visit, the Up, the awesome and of course, the funny.


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Don't know how I missed this, it is so funny! Glad I found it. There is a pretty large wild turkey population here in the South hills of Eugene and they are sometimes a nuisance, but Eugene is a bird sanctuary, so they are not to be messed with.

So glad you got to talk turkey with Tom!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted you found this, xstatic, and also that you found it funny. Not to worry; no penalty is involved. Thanks for the info that Eugene is a bird sanctuary - I was not aware of that fact. I will share that news with Tom - he gets pretty antsy as Thanksgiving nears.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

I never would have guessed that turkeys are so interesting. They are! Or at least you made them so. Thank you for the pleasure of reading this fascinating and funny report. Good to see you are still at it. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

And it's so good to see you here, too, James. Hope all is going well with you wherever you are. Delighted that you found turkeys as interesting as I did and this hub fascinating and funny. Thanks for taking time to visit.


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 3 years ago from Virginia

Very well done...I loved the twist in the hub. At first I was thinking about my in-laws down in Alabama....but after the twist I could not help but think about Turkey Day.....interesting facts throughout the hub that were interesting and informative...I would think it would take more than 60 pounds of feed to get a 22 pound turkey....but I guess they do not get much exercise...at least until the ax comes out....voted funny and across the board....Go Hokies.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for enjoying this Redneck twist, Coge. Delighted you found this interesting and informative. So did I when doing the research. Thanks for the votes across the board.

Oh, and say hello to your Alabama relatives. Tom says hello, too.


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 3 years ago from Alberta Canada

Hi drbj... Help me up off the floor after the redneck interview... well done indeed... loved the way you put this together and earned a vote all the way across the board...

Hugs from Canada


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Rolly. What an intriguing and beguiling comment - 'help you off the floor after the redneck interview.' 'Twould be my pleasure, m'dear. Thanks for finding this well done and put together. And for those votes all the way 'cross the board. Hugs backatcha from south Florida. It's rather cool tonight in the 60s. :)


carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

I know we got a lotta both kinds of rednecks here. I saw a mess of wild turkeys crossing the Blue Ridge Parkway last week, and this here redneck was very excited about it, too !!!!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a thrill, Chris, to see wild turkeys in the flesh. Hope they made it across the Parkway safely. We have lots of turkeys here in south Florida but they drive on the parkway - and none too safely at that. Tom thanks you for finding him.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

drbj....not to try to improve your wriitng on anything....but this shoulda' been called....eveything you wanted to know about turkeys but were afraid to ask....hee hee

I learned so much... I thought I knew....but how little did I really.

Now, meet a real redneck human...uh hum....I am, I admit it. You might be a redneck if you serve your ice tea in Ball jars..I do, and they come out of the freezer.

thanks for sharing this...

sending you many Angels this evening :) ps


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Good suggestion, Patricia. Your title would have been more appropriate - I just didn't want to give the subject away immediately, m'dear. Like you, I learned tons when researching the noble turkey, and Tom, of course, was a fount of information.

You serve iced tea in Ball jars? Hmmmmm! Guess I don't have much, if any, Redneck blood - what's a Ball Jar? Is that like a Mason Jar perhaps? Thanks for the visit - you are appreciated. And a very Happy Valentine Day to you.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

This was both funny and educational, Drbj. I learned a lot of interesting things about turkeys and rednecks. There are some (of both) down the street who raise wild turkeys and Guinnea fowl. I can hear them yelp and cluck but not close enough to hear them purr. Thankfully, the birds are pretty quiet.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA

Oh, I get it now. He unbuckled his hat. :)

There's always something new in your hubs!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Peg. How interesting to live so close to real, genuine Rednecks - one or both kinds. Delighted you found this both funny and educational. Thank you, I have achieved my mission!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

You are so perceptive, nicomp. Yup, the stuffed Pilgrim unbuckled his hat . . . and his waistcoat . . . and his shoes. Thanks for noticing.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA

Oh, yeah. The shoes also. My powers of observation are sub-par.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Far from it, my friend ... only when it comes to buckles.


mary615 profile image

mary615 2 years ago from Florida

I am a true Red Neck, coming from the country of Georgia. I wish you had called me for your interview! Ole Jeff is pretty funny, though. I found out some interesting facts about Tom reading this Hub. It's almost Turkey Day again, can you believe it??

Hope you are well....my best, Mary


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Georgia 'rednecks' are the best, mary. So nice to see you. Where are you hanging out these days? Like you, I can't believe a whole year has almost gone by since last Thanksgiving. Do hope you are settled in and well, m'dear.


mary615 profile image

mary615 2 years ago from Florida

Hi drbj Don't tell a soul, OK? I've been hanging out at Bubblews. I'm still active here on HP, this is my first love, you know! I just haven't written anything new in a while.

My best to you, Mary


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for the update, Mary. I'll try to catch your stuff at Bubblews. HP is my first love, too, although they can be unreasonable at times. Best to you, too, m'dear. Take care and stay well.

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