- HubPages»
- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
Is she a Gold Digger? Figure out what the girls about
Well some of it could happen to you
It isn't just women who need help identifying the wrong mate
I see it all the time, men who find themselves with a flake. What is a flake? A flake is a pretty girl who has no personality to offer, (also known as a gold digger). She seems like a blank piece of canvas ready for you to paint and give her a form, but then after sometime passes you realize that blank canvas is all that she will ever be.
Why are men drawn to flakes? Well they are beautiful and built like models. They are arm candy, and all of your male friends will be so jealous...well that is only if they don't make more money than you, otherwise that young pretty thing that is on your arm will be hopping off and onto your friends arm. There is a song out that goes "girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money"... Not all women are that way, and not all pretty women are flakes but how can you tell the difference?
Picture this, you are in the club when a pretty young woman approaches you. Okay so is she real or a flake just looking to get your wallet?
Answer key
Some of these I hope you have already know the answers to but we will go over them just in case.
1. If the answer is (a) then you know this woman has no desire to pay for anything herself tonight, (b) she seems to be behaving as human chick but I would still be cautious as vampires don't always show their fangs right away, (c) she is probably already trashed and has her beer goggles on, well at least there is a cat in the bag, (d) this girl just wants all of your money, being that pretty ain't cheap.
2. (a) she is being respectful, how nice that there are people that still do that these days, (b) dang, she didn't even pretend to want to make small chat she went straight for the kill, run run run far away, (c) wow how nice of her, but it would be so much nicer if she used her own credit card, this flake has got to go, (d) this girl really just bought you a drink? she has her own money and isn't trying to get into your wallet...keep that conversation going.
3. (a) well at least she isn't hoping that you will pay for those too, (b) well size doesn't matter, that is unless she wants implants in that case guard your wallet, (c) hey natural is good especially if she has a full C, (d) ut oh you have been spotted by a barfly carefully slide away from this lady.
4. (a) slight bit of a tomboy you might have somethings in common, (b) this girl my be a tomboy but she likes to show her legs, or she might have high blood pressure which causes her to be really hot all the time, (c) Her dress is so tight that she can hardly breathe and she is probably sucking in too, well she obviously is into using her body to impress men and doesn't feel that breathing is a high priority but we can almost bet that your money is at the top of the list, (d) you can see her butt cheek and you like what it looks like but everyone else in the club can already see her goodies too and she is straight up trying to advertise that she does not have high virtues.
5. (a) this lady would probably be just as happy fishing at lake, or walking barefoot in a field, she is a free spirit and doesn't really care about your money as she would just use it to buy some sort of drugs...she most likely has a glovebox full of it already, (b) she is ready for a run, sporty and not impressed with your money or your waistline, (c) She is here for the party and wants you to know that she likes her shoes, hopefully you will be generous to make a few donations to her shoe fund, (d) this young lady is not at all into you and is most likely speaking to you on a dare, as she prefers the company of the ladies herself.
Section 2 She has ran of to the bathroom, and it is google time.
6. (a) this girl is part of the world in a digital age, nothing unusual yet, (b) well she is a little out of date as myspace is a thing of the past, (c) whoa, dip out of that club before she comes out of that club...she just wants that money, (d) this lady is not missing around, and Kanye West wrote a song about this one, you want to run and hide your sent.
7. Okay so she has a normal internet profile, now her pictures tell you what about her? (a) she obviously thinks that she is very enticing and she is hoping for all of the attention she can get from everyone on her friends list. (b) This girl is the fun type and truly values her friends, your wallet will mean nothing to her but you had better like her friends or you will find that she will drop you like a bad habit, (c) she looks like she is the just the girl next door with barely any make up on, so she is down to earth and is just here for the fun and talking to you is a bonus, (d) she is there making a goofy face, she is so comfortable in her skin she is just having fun living her life and doesn't care what anyone thinks about her while she does this.
8. Her job is listed as (a) a model, is she a legit model or just another internet angel? Either way she will need money for makeup, outfits, and photo shoots, (b) ut oh she doesn't have a job, but look how well she is dressed, bet this girl has several guys paying her bills and buying her clothes or she still lives with her parents and has a fake ID, (c) she works in an office, thankfully is educated and has a good job, and she has her own money, (d) She has a grunt job, which means she is down to Earth but that also means that she will not hesitate to tell what she really thinks of you and put you in your place.
9. How many pictures does she have of herself up on her profile... (a) less than 10 she is humble, ah not too many women are these days, enjoy it, (b) 20-30, she loves herself and doesn't mind letting the world see that, (c) she has no pictures of herself up on her profile but there are plenty of her friends and family, well maybe she is willing to concentrate on other people and not center her world around herself, or she has real insecurities issues that could be trouble down the road, (d) hundreds of pictures in suggestive poses, this young lady is most likely hoping the right man will see her and want to make her his trophy wife.
Section 3 She's back
10. She is coming out of the bathroom: (a) she smiles at you and starts walking your way, that is a good sign and hopefully everything goes well, (b) She rolls her eyes and walks in the opposite direction, looks like she facebooked you and did not like something she saw while she was in the bathroom, (c) She stopped at the bar to get you another drink, now that is awesome that she is so considerate, run with this one, (d) She makes a B-line for another fellow who has nicer threads, just be happy that she is his gold digger now and off of your hands.
11. She is back at your side and leans in to whisper: (a) that she missed you , seriously she missed you? you need to run this girl is so clingy and needy that this will be the last official day of your life as you are now her newest possesion, run run run, (b) she doesn't even know you and she wants you go home with you? think about this, is your job and yearly income listed on your facebook? she might think that is a perfect job to support her, or she is just an easy girl but how many other men have taken her home this way before? don't chance it, (c) she is asking you to buy her a drink again? do you look like a bank, she better take some notes from camels because she will not be getting anymore of your money as you are getting ready to leave for the night and return to the safety of your home from gold diggers, (d) this girl just wants fun, maybe later you can get a phone number.
Is She a Flake?
1. When she approaches you she says:
- a. "buy me a drink"
- b. "Hi my name is _________"
- c. "hey sexy"
- d. "how much do you make a year?"
2. Next does she:
- a. extend her hand for a handshake
- b. reach for your wallet
- c. tells the bartender to open a tab on your credit card
- d. offers to buy you a drink
3. Now at this moment it is okay to eye her boobs, are they:
- a. clearly fake
- b. barely there
- c. flawed but natural
- d. sagging to the ground
4. What type of bottoms is she wearing?
- a. jeans
- b. shorts
- c. a painted on dress
- d. the shortest skirt available with a butt cheek hanging out
5. Her shoes are:
- a. flip flops
- b. sneakers
- c. stilettos
- d. combat boots
Section 2 online profile
6. The pretty young thing runs to the bathroom as females always seem to do, in a group with a couple of her friends and you google her name and you find that she has a profile:
- a. on facebook
- b. myspace
- c. sugardaddie.com
- d. dateamillionaire.com
7. Her profile picture is:
- a. sleazy picture of her sprawled across some random object
- b. her and a couple of her friends
- c. a picture that resembles the girl next door
- d. a completely goofy looking picture of her
8. Her job is listed as:
- a. model
- b. unemployed
- c. office job/librarian
- d. some sort of grunt/blue collar job
9. How many profile pictures does she have?
- a. 10 or less
- b. 20-30
- c. zero of herself
- d. over 100 pictures of herself in trashy poses meant to entice you
Section 3 She's back
10. on her way back from the bathroom she:
- a. makes eye contact with you and smiles
- b. looks your way and rolls her eyes
- c. She stops at the bar to get you a refill
- d. she grinds on another man that looks like he has more money than you
11. She whispers in your ear:
- a. "did you miss me?"
- b. "do you wanna take me home?"
- c. "I'm ready for another drink"
- d. "do you wanna dance?"