It Is Late It Is real Late Ahh Who Cares I Have A Writing To Share

If You Can't Sleep Read This

This is my way of making you sleep the sound sleep that you deserve

Just give me your worries and troubles too

I have nothing better to do

I will digest them and give them back

With a laugh or a wise crack

I want to see how many things people have on their minds

That keep them from the beautful restful sleep they need

I am up late and the house is quiet

I want to take on all your problems until the sun comes up

I want to take those blasted worries and turn them into wonderful sweet red cherries

I want to take those bills that are piled high on your desk

And burn them in my fireplace and see all those creditors go up in smoke

Life can be hard but we don't have to make it any harder

No more beating yourself up or remembering those petty things that agrivate you every time

Let them go send them my way

I think of it as Christmas almost 2 months late

The bigger the problem the most wonderful to me

I want to see that pain and those awful wrinkles leave your face

I want to see happiness in it's place

I know you want to worry

Why?

Because you have done it all your life

It is routine for you and you feel comfortable

It is your safe place

Like keeping those old sneakers you should of thrown out years ago

That one has have half a bottom and you think you can still walk without your toes hanging out the side

Wait till it rains and your foot gets all wet

Think of me and pass on the things that piss you off to no end in sight

I want more problems than I can believe to be possible

I want to see those kidney stones finally leave

I will be up late and I am taking all orders

I will take on those people who procratinate

Those hoarders who don't know what to do with too may things and only one left shoe

Drop me a line

It won't cost you a dime

You can talk about the land of plenty

Plenty of problems that cause confusion and frustration

They make your hair stand straight up

They have given you the gray hairs you constanly use that hair color to try to cover up

Fess up

Now is no time to hide those things that never got done

That you should have done.

That you know you could of did something with but never found the time

But instead it was a real pain like a bion in your big foot

Yes the truth hurts

It is like those calluses or those ugly warts that you can never get rid of

That end up on one finger and spread to three

How about those cankers under your tongue

Taht hurt everytime you talk

That's why you talk like tiss

Come on I know we all have skeltons in our closets

I have enough to make a bone wardrobe for twenty

You think I am kidding don't you ?

I have a kink in my neck that came while I typed

I think I crinched and slouched too much

Rubbing makes it better

Or at least it makes me think so

Another lie that I try to believe

As a deeper pain goes through me

I am sitting hear typing and my foot fell asleep

Pins and needles aren't those great ?

I have a toothache that only acts up when I have chocolate or candy

Temper mental isn't that sweet

I have more aches than pains

A headache to split up my boring night

I have a dry cough and then I begin to choke

No sex for weeks so I am busting at the seams

What would life be without a little fun

When your bowels become a subject you even talk about

I don't know why but I don't go like I use to

Some people go too much and never stop

Either way too much time in the bathroom for me

I will just have to wait and see

If you can bring me bigger troubles than I already have

I can compare them with mine

I can list them on the biggest list ever

I can put like troubles together

God knows we have to be organized about this

What if I mess up and put the mishaps in the wrong place

They might fall into the pissed off for along time pile

Then I will be shot out of luck !!

Yes I wrongly spelled the word shot above

So nobody would complain

Because swearing might be borderline insane

My mind rattles like the muffler you didn't get fixed

I can't sleep because I am over tired

You are to blame

All your troubles that fill my room

I can now curse and cuss and then drive my life mad

The more I see the more troubles I feel

I get that leg cramp I told you about

My fingers have arthritis

So why do I type

To bring on more pleasure than pain

I am gaining on all those forbidden emotions

I have tried to be nice long enough

I want to see what the other side sees

Misery and discomfort

Llike I have pioson ivy all over again

I want to scratch that itch where there is a scab on my cut

I am going to pick it

Then you know what happens next

Blood that won't stop bleeding

What the heck what's a little blood among friends

Yes I can go on for days

Let the good times disappear

Give me those horror stories that make me shake

If I am going to be up all night anyway

I need a few useless thoughts to clutter my brain

I want my eyes to turn red a little

A little eye strain doesn't hurt that much

I should have turned the overhead light on

But I am too lazy to turn it on

So I am sitting in the dark

To create the mood

It didn't help matters I never picked up my glasses when they were ready

I paid for them too

More money wasted

Like the trash I forgot to take out because I over slept

I threw on my bathrobe and rushed out when I heard the loud noise the truck makes

Of course I was to late

I stubbed my toe and tripped on the steps

I slipped on ice and hurt my back

Yes If I was you I would be laughing too

Better you than me is what you are thinking

I can read your mind and I have an e-mail to prove it

My computer has crashed and I had to use a laptop of a friends

I just spilled my ice cold pepsi on the key board because I wasn't careful

I was just plain clumsy I guess

I rushed to get things done

I should of waited for tomorrow

Tomorrow is another day

I was afraid I would forget what I wanted to say

The weather man says it will probably rain

Will they be as wrong as me

We will just have to wait and see

Now the key board is all sticky and I tried to use a wet cloth to clean up the mess

Now the e key came out and I can't gt it back in if I trid

What else could happen that I didn't expect

I scratched my head because it was itchy

Dandruff I think

No my hair is just falling out

I should of just watched t.v. instead and put my mind to rest

Yes turn on that idiot box that stops me from thinking completely

All I have to do is work the remote

No that won't do

I had no t.v. last time somehow I got off channel three

That brings the cable in and now all I have is snow

This is one snow that isn't going away

They say spring is only thirty four days away

Then how come a snow storm is souppose to hit Tuesday

If I told you I don't care I would be lying

But how would you know ?

Unless you have that sixth sense mothers have

The gift that they put to use every time I open my mouth

They can see right through me

I noticed a pimple on my forehead and wax in my ear

I forgot to shave but does anyone care

I think i have an eyelash in my eye or dust from when I forgot to clean

The alarm clock is going off and I have to get it before It wakes up my wife

Then she will be wondering why I stayed up all night

When I should of been in bed asleep

You guys can be me allaby

You kept reading so I had to keep writing

You gave me the worst of the worst

You gave me so much to think about and tomorrow I start a new day

What will this day bring

Nothing that we talked about I am sure of that

Because before I go to bed I am going to hit the delete button and I know what that does

It gets rid of all your troubles and mine

For one final time

Delete...

Comments 8 comments

clydelady2 profile image

clydelady2 5 years ago from Long Island, New York

This proves it....writing makes us insane! Only kidding, it was hysterical.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Great hub and thanks for sharing.

Up/funny for this one.

Take care

Eiddwen


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago Author

clydelady2 One good thing I am too busy typing than anything else.I keep my mind focused on one of many thoughts.I keep hoping to bring out the best in me.I might have to dig even deeper into my soul.Who knows.Eiddwen Anything for a laugh.Thank you so much.


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Dream On,

I can honestly say you have a lot on your mind! I have chronic insomnia. I used to be a terrible worrier (raised 5 children) but not so much anymore. When I cannot sleep I try to do something that will weary my brain.

NOT getting on hubpages is a big help. Getting on here just stimulates me to do more and more and the night is gone before I can capture any sleep at all.

When sleep alludes you

You don't know what to do

Have a cup of milk

Rid yourself of your sad ilk

Close your eyes

Don't count sheep

Simply repeat to yourself

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

voted up and funny


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago Author

I love your suggestions.Now you tell me.Well I finally went to sleep the hard way.I slept like a baby.I didn't want to get up after a goodnight sleep the next day.Maybe because I WANTED TO DREAM MORE AND WITH NO WORRIES AT ALL ON MY MIND AND EVERYONE ELSES GONE TOO I FELT AT PEACE.Thanks so much for reading.


Rhonda Waits profile image

Rhonda Waits 5 years ago from The Emerald Coast

A great hub thanks for sharing DREAM ON,you funny bone. You always make me smile. Thanks for sharing with us.

Sweet dreams Rhonda


IN2Deep profile image

IN2Deep 5 years ago

This was awesome voting up. Keep Smiling


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago Author

Rhonda Waits Thanks for reading it.Without you I would have to leave it for my cats to do their business on..This way they would love it too.I just love to make light of life and bring out smiles.IN2DEEP Sometimes I go far out on a limb.This is one of those times.Thanks for sticking around and help me take all the sad things in life and squeeze them real tight until the good things come out.You both have a good morning or a good night which ever is first.

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