It Was After 11:00 P.M.


Something just wasn’t right,

he had failed to show up in court,

it was after 11:00 P.M.

and it was a very dark night,

the witness was a short,

balding man with a face

that had all hard angles,

and his mother said to the police,

that he just kept out of sight,

wrapping her robe tight

in the chill of the front hall,

she would call,

but her son did not answer,

her face stained with tears,

she told the police that her son

was down stairs,

he was lazy, a good for nothing,

the more she gave,

the more he would take,

but it was her son,

and he was still awake,

drinking warm beer,

and watching the local news

in the basement without a care,

two plain clothed detectives

walking down the stairs,

did not surprise him,

no worries no fears,

the basement was a poor version of a man-cave,

a future grave,

it was so dull and gloom,

with a sofa and television

in the center of the room,

and against the long wall,

five or six liquor bottles

on top of an old dresser

being used as a bar,

and the stench didn’t travel too far,

behind the sofa was a plastic laundry tub,

containing two to three inches of urine,

his speech was slurred

as if he were drunk,

he was the only witness to a murder,

which he saw carrying a little girl’s body

from a back door to a car trunk,

but he didn’t even flinch,

when the cops told him

that the killer was released

because of the lack of evidence,

he said it wasn’t his fight,

he just wanted to drink his beer,

and enjoy the night,

not caring if justice fails,

the detective looked back

and wondered why people pissed into pails...

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 38 comments

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Good morning Frank, You've painted a very vivid picture with this poem. Now I feel the need to go and clean :) Have a great day. Voted up and awesome!


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

Voted up and awesome and SHARING! I was like Susan - you painted such a picture that I want to go and clean!


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

I am getting where I look forward to the new ones. This reminds me of my apartment in art school.

All joking aside, it is too real.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Just ask Susan.. you just crack me up.. and Justateacher thanks for visiting me at 11 pm and Curry college dorms right? LOL thanks for stopping by guys bless you :) Frank


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Hello Frank hope you are well this morning.. wow what a story... did I tell you I love your stories? lol .. I am a fan of yours..so vivid.. I can see him in that dark stench room.. and I agree with the others cant wait for the new story..

voted way up

debbie


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Our Ms Brooks.. I just love you period :) Frank


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Oh by the way I meant to tell you.. I love that picture with the Dr. Pepper sign.. where did you find that picture?


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

WOW! Another great poem to the many you have written Frank. The detail that you are able to present in your poetry is on another level my friend. Simply put, AMAZING. Great job.


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 4 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

It's a good thing that I understand enough about myself , making it quite easy to understand others .

And I know that you thought I was koo koo when I said to you a long time ago to you that your mind points in that direction, go look it over again.

Remember one thing no one is better than you , it's all relative. Some may get carried away and try to categorize you , and yes you are part of the human race, that will happen. But there is only one Frank ANTANACIO!

Keep doing your best , you cannot do someone else's.

great work.

Bless.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Good to see you back Our Ms Brooks that sign came from a Triond search .. free pics..LOL and thelyricwriter you are too kool for school..LOL don't know why I said that..LOL Sky thanks for your comments.. you always say the right thing Frank Atanacio


Gypsy48 profile image

Gypsy48 4 years ago

Brilliant writing. Such great visualization from this piece. It is still in my head.I can see him sitting there in a dingy white undershirt! Voted up.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Wow Frank amazing writing here.

You are indeed so talented.

Take care;

Eddy.


The Finance Hub profile image

The Finance Hub 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Amazing poem here! You really did paint a perfect picture for your readers! Voted up and interesting. Hope that you will enjoy my hubs as well!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Gypsy for taking a look at my after 11pm and Eddy.. no you're the talented one.. up and away right? and the finance hub thanks for financing my hub with your comment cheers :)


Express10 profile image

Express10 4 years ago from East Coast

Awesome job! You do paint very vivid and engaging pictures for us to enjoy. I thoroughly enjoy your hubs, you are very talented.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Express10 you are too generous with your comments bless you


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

It is few minutes past mid night here, and you are scaring me, my dear poet.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

VG thanks for being so loyal trust me if I were a female you'd be so getting some LOL Frank


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Good one Frank with such vivid descriptions.

Read with quite an interest and awe of what next...lol

voted up as awesome!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks you are too kind Ruch :) Frank


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Frank my friend, I was walking down the stairs, phew! with the police. Good one. Voted up and awesome which this story deserves. Joyce


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

Terse, succinct and to the point. You painted a vivid word picture with such and economy of words. Voted up and awesome.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

I love how this feels film noir to me--very cool write! Sharing!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Wow Frank very vivid and creative. You keep me on the edge of my seat always..Thank you for sharing your writing which paints pictures, pulling the reader into a mind boggling scene.

Sunnie


poetvix profile image

poetvix 4 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

Good night, Frank! I think you just aptly described a waste of flesh. How could anyone not care about a murdered child? Your poetry chills me to the bone. Crime related poems is a niche you rule!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Wow what an antagonist against every thing decent; this one tells of how low the human being can really go. That basement sot can piss his life away and who besides mom is ever going to care.


shimmering Dawn profile image

shimmering Dawn 4 years ago

Frank, you have so beautifully captured mans selfishness and greed, his attitude who cares as long as it isn't me. What a vivid portrayal of a sordid life without conscience. You have done it again. Wow! Have a blessed day. Peace!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Writer20 you are like clock work thank you so much for being loyal bless you.. and Blossom what a wonderful comment bless you both


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Audrey and Sunnie Day thank you so much for joining me after 11:00Pm bless you both :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Poetvix no you rule thanks for the comment.. and Alastar thanks for visiting here after 11pm and shimmering dawn what a wonderful comment bless you all!!! Frank


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Frank

Too bad that the witness didn't give a piss about justice.

Voted up and awesome.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

I got Soap for you Sue LOL thanks for stopping by you dirty mouth :) Frank


Sueswan 4 years ago

ROFL Frank. Have a good day. :) Sue


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

LOL you are too funny Sueswan


duffsmom profile image

duffsmom 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

What I love about your poetry is that you manage to create a very dark, gritty picture. When I read it I can see the surroundings so clearly - and it sets the mood perfectly. Another one so well done Frank.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

duffsmom you are simply fantastic...:)


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Nice Frank. Great use of rhyme. I generally don't care for rhyming poetry, but you pulled this off masterfully. well done. Bravo!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks PDX and Im just the opposite I love words that rhyme.. gives it a creative feel...LOL again thanks

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