It's still all your fault!

I wasn't gonna write another one of these hubs because some people said my last one was clumsy, badly written, in poor taste, downright insulting, supercilious, nonsensical, childish, malicious, caustic garbage as well as foolish gibberish.

It was the "foolish gibbersh" comment that fired me up!

It's not my fault I have an addictive personality with anti-social tendencies, which means I not only enjoy blaming others, but feel totally compelled to do so!

All the more so now that some friends have pointed out to me that the other hub "It's all your own fault" was complete crap.

Naturally I immediately thought. "I can write worse crud than that!" and took it as a challenge.

I don't like to be hard on others, but hell, some people are just too tempting by being such wimblewomblers!.

I would like to tell you that you are the exception, but you're not!

It's still all your fault and as I said before it's high time someone better than you said so!

I was just a baby when I realized "hey I'm better than that other kid over there" and someone needed to know about it, especially the kid in question.

I have always been better than you, it's just that I've been so incredibly modest and retiring about it that it has gone mostly unnoticed until now. That and the fact that you never listen!

I have kept my awesomeness and your lack of it to myself.(Almost.)

I say almost in consideration of the lousy number of you who read my first one!

I dunno, some people just don't want help when it's offered!

I was gonna finish off with stuff about me, but as I would need 3 rolls of toilet paper just for the main things I am better at than anyone else, I thought I'd be modest and just say,

It's all your own fault you're not as good as me!

See below for positive proof.


Thought i'd finished did ya? Not bloody likely mate!

You need to know how many words to put in so your hub is not judged "sub-standard"

Ya know, like most of your hubs should be!

So anyway, with a few white spaces and a bit of senseless babble it may get up around 500 words one day and be trampled by Google with offers of giga moolah!

Of course I wont have to speak to anyone I know anymore then.

Hell! I may even snub myself!

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Comments 35 comments

qwark profile image

qwark 5 years ago

Hahahaha...Earn, I love it! Spoken with verve, vigor and honesty!

Man being born "equal" is pure, putrid, bull shite!

About my fellow man? I feel the same as you!

Thumbs up!!!

Qwark


Candie V profile image

Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

I have a tear in my eye! *sniff* This was beautiful! You are beautiful! And so dang perfect! I'd ask to be a humble slave.. but alas I'm too far away.. *sniff*


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

This was so stupendous that when I read it back to myself I was so impressed I didn't even talk to myself for a good 10 minutes. I felt so important I thought "Why would I bother with that low-life!"


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

I know, I know! So many needs to fill, so little time and space left after taking the time to consider even a small bit of my own greatness!

And you are right of course about me being beautiful, the perfection is as natural as the beauty too!


Candie V profile image

Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Hmmmm... You are low on fibre! Eat more bran and you'll be back to yourself soon.. whatever that means!


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

So .... cut back on the emu dung or what?


Candie V profile image

Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

OY! Maybe try it with a diff side-dish? Like a potato?


Eric Graudins profile image

Eric Graudins 5 years ago from Australia

Not bad for a mainlander!


Mighty J-Kep profile image

Mighty J-Kep 5 years ago from Austria

LOL! Eat more bran? I'm seeing a Google ad for General Mills Whole Grain cereals on this hub right now.

Love it! HA

Don't spend your giga moohlah all in one spot :D

(wyanjen)


Candie V profile image

Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Right now my ads are for bi-polar disorder! Hahahaha!


Mark Knowles profile image

Mark Knowles 5 years ago

You religious nuts really crack me up. LOL


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

You're all going to hell in a handbasket I tells ya Mark!

I love the bi-polar ads Candie.

I just wish the world was lucky enough to have more than just the pair of me!

That's easy for you to say Eric! although maybe you get interrupted quite a lot come to think of it.

I only ever answer the head on the Left for some reason. :)


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 5 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

This is true art...may it earn you a million dollars.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, you sound like my brother! ha ha the only difference is that he really believes it! the thing is, there can only be one perfect person per household, and, well, that's me! simple as that, well, maybe not....! great laugh, thanks nell


Raven King profile image

Raven King 5 years ago from Cabin Fever

Haha...good one! :D


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

I dealt with your comment on my other work of art Nell. Don't go all habitual on me and make me do it again! :)

and please NO MORE LAUGHING! This is serious!


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

Finally genius acknowledged. You'll notice it took a Canadian to do that!

Uninvited, unloved, unresolved, unrepentant, yet able to show the truth about a simple and humble man from a better country away from the Americans who crowd to become his followers.

May the Canadian Mounting police not mount your camels uninvitedwriter!

It is Canada with all the wild camels yes?

Anyway whatever greeting or salutation you are used to.


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

Wyanjen, I have had more hits than Babe Ruth!

I should have retired by about Wednesday. :)


Candie V profile image

Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

I'm baking you a (belated) retirement cake! With out emu dung icing... sorry.


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

A lovely tribute!

My retirement is a bit ongoing, I retired the first time when I was 9. I hadn't made any money, I just decided to retire.

I retired again at 19 because I thought "someone will see my greatness and give me money so I can relax."

This time I am even better prepared with my adsense earnings sure to reach phenomenal heights any minute now!


mtsi1098 5 years ago

I am not sure what a wimblewomblers is but the read was fun...thanks


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

I must say I have no idea what a wimblewombler is either!

But there goes another one!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

I loved this one and all your other hubs. So you tell them the next time. Is somebody doing the round because I had some nasty comments put ontwo of my hubs about my grammar. Thank you for a good laugh.


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

Hi hello, hello. I deleted that one. Then I went and fixed the typo! :)


oliversmum profile image

oliversmum 5 years ago from australia

earnestshub. Hi. Well 'some people' have a nerve, Most times it pays to think before you type.

Its a great hub, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

You accepted the challenge and hell's bell's you came out the winner. Good on you. :) :)


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

It's sellin like hot spuds on a cold night oliversmum!

My poor taste and crassness wins the day!


oliversmum profile image

oliversmum 5 years ago from australia

earnestshub Hi... Yes it looks like 'crassness' and 'poor taste' will beat 'class' any day :) :)


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

As you know oliversmum, although Cecil B. was right in saying, "you will never go broke underestimating the taste of the general public"

I would never say anything like that.......... It may upset someone!


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Well done Ern one can get a duck in the first innings, then come out and crack a century in the second. Move over Sir Donald (Australian cricket great) as sir Ern is at the crease and smashing sixes. Cheers


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

I know, I know! I am just amazing!

I just wanted to say some people will never amount to much so it's good for them to have someone to look up to!


Quilligrapher profile image

Quilligrapher 5 years ago from New York

Nice hub Earnest. You are so talented, you obviously didn’t need to spend a lot of time cranking it out. Fortunately, effort and preparation are not a big part of the hub score algorithm. I’m soooo impressed by your ability to pat yourself on the back! You must have very long arms. All of your achievements are, no doubt, due to all the hubbers who are praying for you. My one dream is to one day reach your level of greatness.

Q.


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

Thank you Quilligrapher! I guess the gigs up!

I knew someone would get on to my prayer collection scam some day! Darn it!

I can fly without the rot in hell prayers, some of the others floated my boat if you know what I mean.

As soon as I realized how truly great I was, I knew I could do worse than the first hub!

I wish your dream would come true, that is how generous I am. But unfortunately you'll never make it.

I always felt that Marge Simpson's mum had it nailed when she said that to Marge.

Such a wise woman. :) I never know who to admire most, Marge's mum?........... or mother Teresa.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 5 years ago from Southern California, USA

Like when someone says something so passionately that I find myself grated by it. I take responsibility for that, and my tempestuous emotions of the moment will get me right on a trajectory, but oh well. It is really not that big of a deal in the end lol.


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

SweetiePie, it's all your fault I am learning to draw, so I get to include you here!


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia Author

I just thought I should drop in and remind you that it's still all your fault!

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