Jumping S**t - Funny Bengali Short Story (Bangla Stories)

Introduction

This is a short Bengali story which is very funny and will definitely make you laugh. It is about a man who goes to visit his mother in-law, but is compelled to use the paddy field as a toilet! What he experiences from this he puts into practice later on, and finds himself in a lot of deep s**t!

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The Man
The Man

Jumping S**t!

A man was walking through paddy fields near his village one day on his way to his mother in law's house in the next village, when suddenly he felt the urge of needing the toilet. The fields were vastly covered in newly grown rice plants in a vibrant green colour, and they had reached up to about 30cm tall. The man was getting quite desperate, but he wasn't very confident he'll make it to their house in time. Even then, he'll have to run in without speaking to them straight into the toilet, which would be disrespectful.

The only solution was to relieve himself of the discomfort in the field, which was very open but no one was around. He rolled up his lungi (sarong), and squatted, balancing on his two feet. The man relieved himself on the ground and then stood up. He looked around to see if anyone was there, but there wasn't anyone. Suddenly he looked down at a moving object on the ground, and to his amazement, it was his sh*t which had formed legs and was jumping away from him! He felt very happy, and thought to himself, 'Wow, my s**t is is alive!'. His s**t then disappeared into the paddy fields and he carried on walking to his in law's village feeling very relieved and looking forward to the lovely food awaiting his arrival especially cooked by his caring mother in-law.

The man reached his mother in law's house and greeted her. She asked him to take a seat while she cooks something for him to eat. He obliged and sat on a chair, staring out of the window into the open fields.

His mother in law cooked a chicken curry for him, which he really enjoyed, then it was time to sleep, as it was getting late.

On his bed the man could feel something pushing, something trying to come out from his anus. He opened his eyes to see only the light from the lantern in the hall coming through the door which was ajar. The toilet was outside of the house, so he did not even consider going out in the dark at 2 O'clock in the morning. He was getting desperate so he thought about what happened earlier in the fields, where his s**t came alive and jumped away. If he has another s**t anywhere, it will form legs and just jump away, hence he won't need to use the toilet outside! He smiled as he thought about it and pulled his lungi up again, and squatted to do the honour in the bedroom.

After he finished doing the business, he looked at the hot steamy s**t that was resting in the middle of the bedroom. Telling the s**t to form legs once again and jump away, the man started to lightly push it with a leaf he found in the windowsill. Nothing happened. The s**t would not form legs, and would not jump or walk away like it did in the fields earlier that day.

He thought to himself he now has to take drastic action otherwise he will definitely be in shame in the morning when his mother in law comes to clean the bedroom. Looking around the room, he found a broomstick which he could use to 'shoo' the ugly looking slimy object away. The bedroom was still quite dark and obviously had a very bad stench, as the man did not open the door any more than it was open already. He got very angry so he started to smack the s**t with the broomstick, hitting it harder and harder each time. Finally the s**t had disappeared which meant he could sleep in peace, ignoring the smell.

In the morning the man was still asleep because he was tired after the little enoucnter with the un-cooperative s**t that did not shift. His mother in law came into the room to wake him up when suddenly she got a smack in the face from a disgusting wiff of s**t and realised the room was totally covered in splattered s**t everywhere! She knew who was responsible, so she grabbed the broomstick the man used to smack the s**t with the night before, and thumped him on his head! The dried s**t off the broomstick broke into smaller pieces as it had dried and became solid, as she kept thumping him, while he grabbed his lungi and ran out of the house! His mother in law screamed at him, 'Don't you dare even think about coming here again, you DIRTY bastard!'.

The day before when he was walking to his mother in law's house, he actually s***ted on a frog!

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Comments 23 comments

dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

LOL. I really did laugh out loud when reading this! This is a very good story! Is it a folktale, by the way? It has the makings of one if it isn't! Instant classic all the way!

P.S. I had no problem understanding the story...The pic of the toad was a definite clue!


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Yes it is, and my wife told me about it! I thought, after hearing it, i have to write this one! With a bit more details of course!


ralwus 6 years ago

The man was an idiot full of crap.


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Yeah, by the sound of it, he was an idiot! That's what makes it more interesting!


keira7 profile image

keira7 6 years ago

I really enjoy the story. :)Lol. Thanks for the fun. BTW, I have been reading your other hubs, and I liked all of them. I like the info on the Eid hub, and the Key to Paradise is excellent hub too. Thanks for sharing. Bless you.


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Thank you Keira, i'm happy to know you enjoyed my other hubs aswell!

I will, someday, read all of your hubs too!

There's more interesting stuff to come, i'm working on a few right now.

Thanks for your comment.


Mit Kroy profile image

Mit Kroy 6 years ago from Georgia,USA

Good story, a bit different.

Keep on hubbing!


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Thanks Mit Kroy! I enjoyed writing it, and after i read it from the beginning, i laughed, realising that it is quite a funny story!


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

I'm not going to make any pithy comments about crap here. Let's just say...this hub was...different. Yeah, it was different.

But I know this guy and he says his best thinking is done when he is sitting on the "Throne". Um, where were you when you wrote this? (she asked cheekily...)

My friend Cathy wants to know what you were smoking when you wrote it, - she is just being funny.

The animated "South Park" TV show sometimes features a talking turd that has a weird way of talking. It also has legs...


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Actually i was sitting on my bed with my laptop writing this story Cheeky Girl! Lol, you made me laugh.

I was thinking what to right, then suddenly out of nowhere i remembered this story my grandmother told me when i was in Bangladesh, so i thought i have to share it!

Different is nice! Unexpected is nice aswell. I was stuck on what to name it, with the word 'shit' may be offensive to some people. Oh well, shit happens as we all know!

Glad you enjoyed it!


Andrew lantzakis 6 years ago

Hilarious! I wish the story kept going.....


mohitosh dey 6 years ago

it was totally different,it gives amazing laugh which can not explain...............keep it up ...........

bhal lagachy


Lt.Col.M.M.A.Sadat 6 years ago

Hilarious!!!


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Thank you all for leaving comments.

Everytime i read it, i still laugh!

Thank you.


saleha 6 years ago

fantastic


G Miah profile image

G Miah 5 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Thanks Saleha!


jackie chan  5 years ago

boring


G Miah profile image

G Miah 5 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

So are your films and kung fu if that's what you call it!

Actually, you jump like what my character was shocked by in the field!


mridul  5 years ago

bhalo legecge.it's have a refresh flever. keep it up.


G Miah profile image

G Miah 5 years ago from Muslim Nation Author

Thank you mridul! It is very fresh!


Zubair Ahmed profile image

Zubair Ahmed 5 years ago

Hi Bro,

Nice one I'm going to my in-laws in a few months time, I wonder if I should try this one..


Ali Afzal 4 years ago

oh really. it is a funny story....


washim 4 years ago

owsm one ,,,,i really enjoyed the story

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