Just take off the safety, and shoot me!

Meat Cleaver
Meat Cleaver
Simulation of knife through foot.
Simulation of knife through foot.
Escaping with shoes on an offroad bike.
Escaping with shoes on an offroad bike.
The red tractor parked next to the barn.
The red tractor parked next to the barn.
The chickens in one of the chicken houses.
The chickens in one of the chicken houses.
Lighters are dangerous toys.
Lighters are dangerous toys.
Don't play with the candles in a restaurant.
Don't play with the candles in a restaurant.
You might set the table cloth on fire.
You might set the table cloth on fire.
Water fights during school holidays.
Water fights during school holidays.
Glass can slice you badly.
Glass can slice you badly.
Spending summer holidays catching fish.
Spending summer holidays catching fish.
Watching the hook fly through the air.
Watching the hook fly through the air.
Hooking my brother.
Hooking my brother.
Omigosh!  Only a stupid idiot will forget to start the hub from the request link!
Omigosh! Only a stupid idiot will forget to start the hub from the request link!

When having fun was more important than thinking about safety.

Thinking back on my glorious youth, the eldest out of seven kids, I have to say we never really worried about safety. Television only arrived in South Africa in 1976, and when it did arrive, it was mainly news, children's shows and badly acted and produced South african soap operas which lacked the sophistication of those that people were watching overseas. Probably part of the sanctions enforced because of apartheid policies of the then white supremist government. So, we were forced to make our own entertainment, and growing up on a farm, there was plenty of mischief we could get up to. I guess, today you'd probably refer to us as a bunch of naughty kids. However, some of the mischief resulted in us learning some important life lessons about safety, which I thought I'd share with you.

Lesson 1: If you are not a part of a circus act, do not throw knives at people

We used to play this game called 'knifey-knifey' where, you guessed it, you had to throw knives at each other. This game was plenty of fun and worked like this. You pinched a steak knife or meat cleaver out of your mom's kitchen and went out into the front garden. You stood opposite each other, about a metre and a half apart. Three large paces I think we used to say. Facing each other, you then threw the steak knife near the person opposite you's foot. They then had to move their foot to the place where the knife landed, pull the knife and throw it near your foot and you moved your foot etc, until you were virtually doing the splits. The first person to fall on their bottom was the loser. Being quite supple and flexible in those days, I was invariably the winner. However, the day came when I was over-confident. From a seemingly impossible position with my legs spread so wide I was almost touching the ground, but not quite, I aimed carefully and threw the meat cleaver (we had decided to go big that day!) and narrowly missed the spot near my brother's foot I had been so carefully aiming for. The meat cleaver hurtled through the air and buried itself deep into my brother's foot. Instead of keeping the accident quiet and pulling the knife out gently, he screamed like a banshee, bringing my parents running out of the house to see who was being murdered. Instead of marvelling at my ability to almost do the splits, I was immediately dispatched to my room while they took my brother to the doctor's surgery 30km away to get the knife removed.

Lesson 2: If you plan on chasing after someone with a tractor, make sure that it is not on a gravel road with big rocks in the way

Once when playing down near the big barn, and building forts in the lucern bales, one of my brothers thought that it would be slightly amusing to grab my shoes and high tail it back to the house on the offroad bike. Now, the farm we lived on had very sandy soil. On a hot summer's day, the sand gets so hot that your feet burn if you're not wearing shoes. The sand was also the hiding place of devil's thorns which caused extreme pain if stood upon. So, stealing my shoes was an incredibly mean and childish thing to do. Luckily, parked next to the barn was one of our tractors with the trailer attached. I immediately leapt onto the tractor, started her up and chased after my brother, determined to beat him to a pulp and retrieve my shoes when I finally caught him. However, on this day it was not my destiny to catch my brother and retrieve my shoes. Intent on catching up with my brother and driving him off the road with the tractor, I failed to notice a large rock sticking up out of the gravel on the road. The tractor hit the rock at speed. The trailer behind fishtailed. As the tractor landed on the ground after flying through the air, the steering wheel swivelled in my hand and the tractor headed straight for the nearby chicken house. The trailer was pulling in the wrong direction as I desperately tried to regain control of the tractor. Too late, I hit the side of the chicken house traveling faster than the tractor's maximum speed. Chickens flew in all directions as the tractor careened through the chicken house coming to a grinding halt in front of my dad. He was not a happy person. I had to walk home in the hot buring sand, stopping every couple of minutes to take the thorns out of my feet, as I headed to my room. For the next few months my pocket money had to go into the cost of the repairs to the chicken house. My brother was sadly not punished for stealing my shoes.

Lesson 3:  When bored with the company at a restaurant, don't play with candles and a lighter to keep yourself entertained

After an afternoon of sliding down sand dunes on flattened cardboard boxes and drinking copious amounts of red wine to give us the fortitude and strength to be able to walk through the soft deep sand to the top of the sand dune again, we had to meet up with a particularly boring couple at the local pizza place.  Being a Gemini, I need to keep myself amused and had no interest in hearing about what shampoo the woman thought was the best one to use on oily hair.  I casually picked up my friends' lighter and started flicking it and lit the candles which were part of the centrepiece on the table.  All the time smiling inanely and nodding my head at the right time so that the woman on the other side of the table thought I was paying attention to her shampoo product story.  Without thinking, I absent-mindedly picked up a candle and started to make wax-drip patterns on the table cloth.  This proved to be a serious mistake.  While nodding my head my hand holding the candle moved down at the same time as my head and the flame moved too close to the table cloth.  In a flash, the table cloth was on fire!  Luckily, the restaurant owner had a fire extinguisher handy and put out the flames immediately.  His fast response saved us from a potential disaster.  However, we were asked to leave and never to return, which I thought was a bit haqrsh as it was a genuine accident.  Strangely enough, I can't remember ever meeting up with the boring couple again either.

Lesson 4:  When taking part in a water fight, use plastic instead of glass to hold the water

School holidays and you're bored.  So what do you do, you start a water fight with your brothers.  Filling empty beer bottles with water, we chased each other around our large ranch-style farm house, hiding in rooms and splashing each other as we ran past.  It was heaps of fun, we all quite wet, the floor got a little slippery, but the folks were away and we knew the floor would be dry before they arrived home.  I was hiding behind the door in my parent's bedroom.  The soft thud thud of footsteps told me that one of my brothers was approaching down the passage.  I gingerly opened the door and stuck only my arm out with the beer bottle in my hand, to wet my brother as he went past.  Unfortunately, he saw a movement and was swinging his hand around the door to wet me where I was hiding.  The two bottles collided and shattered on impact, slicing my right thumb clean down the middle.  No parents at home and the only one able to drive at that stage, meant that I had to leave my brothers to clean up the mess and drive myself to the doctor's surgery 30km away.  With a dishcloth tied around the thumb to soak up the blood that was pumping out in spurts, I willed myself to hold it together and not faint while I drove down the highway to get it sewn back together.

Lesson 5:  When catching fish, never cast without making sure that there is nobody behind you

As we had a holiday house at the beach, many a holiday was spent fishing.  I was quite an ace at casting, able to send that hook flying through the air.  My brother, obviously jealous at my incredible arm action, kept jumping next to me and mocking my amazing cast.  I was determined to show him how good I was, by casting the furthest ever.  Imagine my shock when the little hook didn't go sailing through the air like normal.  Instead, I felt it being tugged like I'd already caught a fish.  I peered anxiously into the still waters in front of me, to see what might have happened to my line, when suddenly I became aware of a strange yelping sound behind me.  I had accidentally snagged my brother on his arm.  We tried to remove the hook but to no avail and had to cut the line.  Cursing my brother for interrupting a perfectly good afternoon's fishing, I was once again banished to my room while my parents rushed my brother to the emergency to get the hook cut out.

Lesson 6:  When wanting to participate in the weekly Hubmob, make sure that you click on the make a request link in the relevant section in the forum

I have to confess, I was so excited when I saw that the Hubmob for this week was Health and Safety, that I immediately raced to start a new hob on the topic.  I worked on the hub for a few days, doing research and talking to Chinese people on the staff.  Finally, the Hubmob hub was finished and I happily published the hub and proudly added the link to the Hubmob Spot on the forum.  However, I had forgotten to start the Hubmob hub by clicking on the request link.  Princessa came up with a cunning plan for me to create a new hub, and add my original Health and Safety Hub's link onto this hub.  So, here's the link to my original Health and Safety Hubmob Hub http://hubpages.com/hub/Shaking-up-Safety

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Comments 58 comments

R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Ha ...First!!! While fishing with my stepson, I caught a stingray on a double hook bottom rig. Being an environmentalist and humanitarian, I was trying to gingerly extract the hook when the fish jerked itself out of my grasp and was making for the bottom as the second hook found my hand. The harder the fish fought to get away, the deeper the hook went. I cut the line and had to drive the boat back to shore and then drive myself to the emergency room. My stepson now calls me "Captain Hook".


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Yeah, but did you read it lol


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

I did, blue looked at the pictures


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Yeah Ag, don't think Blue ever learnt how to read.

Yeah BC, I got into serious trouble because of him!


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

you should have put bikini girl first, then see your stats fly. ;-)


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Nah Ag, will not stoop so low just to get stats. It's about the writing, not girlie pics for me lol.


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Yeah me too Sin Devine....girlie pictures......phoooey!!!

OK...I've stooped so low I'd have to climb a ladder just to scratch a snake's belly!!


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

So, you're pretty short then, eh Blue?


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

nah Sin...It's just that I have stooped sooooooooo low......hehehe


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Must be hell on your knees, Blue


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

nah again Sin.....keep scraping my forehead on the floor!!


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Maybe you should stop standing on your head then. If someone tells you to keep your nose to the ground, it's an idiom, you're not meant to take it literally, lol.


2C's 7 years ago

A great hub cindy. I loved it and it brought back many memories of my life on the farm too. We played the same knife game, no injuries as only boys were allowed and they're much better at knife throwing. *wink* If that chick up there is fishing for real I'll, well errr, I'll eat RB's hat. Great read dear


Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall

Seems you spent a lot of your childhood in your room , Cindy. I remember playing the 'splits' game, don't think it's dangerous at the time.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Hey CC, I was the eldest and had to set the standards, and was damn good at knife throwing. It just got a little difficult when your inner thighs felt like they were going to snap! Now, did you check out my real safety hub as I feel it's quite an important one? The one I forgot to do from the request?

Hawkesdream, I didn't mind being sent to my room as it was from all my punishments that I developed my love of reading lol


2C's 7 years ago

will read it now. I forgot. hehe


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

It showed my serious side, CC. I do have a serious side. Seriously.


Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall

Out of every negative comes a positive .


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Exactly, Hawke, and one has to work at changing negatives into positive. It's just a change of minset, that's all.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

This is funny....now count the scars...I have about 17 or so. :)


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

lol Tom, were you also a wild child?


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

Oh yeah....I think I fell out of half the trees in the neighborhood, but usually on another friend. :)


LAmatadora 7 years ago

OMG this is good.. but you are right. As kids or even young adults we don't always think about safety when we are having fun.

My brother in law was playing around on their ranch in Mexico ( they were rich) and he decided to take one of the agriculture machines ( kinda like a tractor) and he fell forward under it as it ran over him. He lived but nearly died,,and unfortunately he is missing some very important pieces of his manhood. Sad isn't it?

And the fishing thing...I have to admit I did that when I was kid and I whipped the pole back and the line with hook got hooked in my "biological" dad's nose...he was pissed and I had to hear him rant and rave the rest of the day =(


GeneriqueMedia profile image

GeneriqueMedia 7 years ago from Earth

Tanx. =P


Jerilee Wei profile image

Jerilee Wei 7 years ago from United States

Seems we've had some parallels in life and our brothers could really relate, mine is still weary of anything I suggest we do together. think it was my wild casting style and something to do with a fish hook, or maybe it was the knife in his thigh. You know it was our "job" as the oldest and we couldn't help it. I've been banned by Olive Garden because of that little setting the table cloth on fire incident.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Tom, my only broken bone was my wrist from coming off a horse at a flatout gallop. Luckily, it was mostly my brothers who sustained the injuries.

JJ, lucky your cousin had a narrow escape, but missing his bits - ouch!

Jerilee, I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only one who did silly things!


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

CC....I'd eat more than my hat!!!!!


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Don't think he was referring to your hat, Blue


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

ROFL Cindy! Too funny! I'm thrilled to learn about these new forms of entertainment (especially since I'm a Gemini too). Although throwing knives and meat cleavers at people's feet or having them thrown at mine will be at the bottom of my "to do" list. lol! What a game! :D Those are some wild experiences, thanks for sharing. :)


Janetta 7 years ago

HAHA :D We have a game similar to knifey knifey in the states--It's called Lawn Darts :)


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Pam, yeah don't know if I'd play 'knifey-knifey' now. If I got down I don't think I'd be able to get up again.

Janetta, is lawn darts played with a dart? One of my brothers once threw a dart into my arm. He didn't wait for me to finish taking my darts out of the dartboard before he threw his. It was painful, but I bravely just pulled it out.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

psycho.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

Sounds like you have fun childhood memories. Glad no one was seriously or permanently hurt. I am also the eldest child and a Gemini.


Janetta 7 years ago

sort of Cindy-- They are giant darts (the size of a small child) and you and the other player stand on opposite ends of the yard and throw them at each other. Trying to get them in a ring. So fun to play with toys that could kill you LOL


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Aw GT, you're not calling me a psycho, are you?

Peggy, yeah, we could have got hurt, and there are many more things we did which were very unsafe and shouldn't have done!


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Janetta, sounds like fun! I wonder how many kid's games are actually quite dangerous!


TheRealTruth profile image

TheRealTruth 7 years ago from Virginia

what happened that all the sudden kids are all safe and stuff? we all made it out ok.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Not sure, RT, definitely think we had more fun than they do now!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

hahaha good one CIndy. Some of those pics made my tummy go aghhhh. When I was 14 I went fishing and didn't know what I was doing (still don't) and the hook went though my finger,have a little scar there.

Til I tell you the other week I set my hair on fire while leaning over the back of my PC to check a plug. I had a lighter in my hand to see what I was doing and my long hair went into the flame. I screamed as I belted my hair to stop the flame travelling up. My hair is not quite even anymore grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

BP, it's amazing what silly things we do. i was telling my class today how I stood barefoot on wet grass and tried to pull a big cable out of a generator. The shock sent me flying through the air and landed hard on my bum easily 5m away!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

Omg that is amazing you are still here on that one. That makes my burning hair seem quite mild LMAO


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Yeah, I've had many close shaves!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

Me too as you well know lol


2C's 7 years ago

RB can go eat his own dam hat! hey, I wonder how many Gemini's are here? We have 3 confirmed so far as I too am one. hehe We need to organize a Gemini club hub.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Ah, we'll have to have a big Hubber Party, CC!


TheRealTruth profile image

TheRealTruth 7 years ago from Virginia

oh yeah we did and neither our parents nor ourselves even worried about what was goin on.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Yeah RT, also think we were a lot tougher then. Now everybody is so damn politically correct, you aren't allowed to have fun!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

My toes are all curled up reading this LOL But now I am inspired to go right out and injure myself! Thanks, Cindy!


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Hey Tom this was a safety hub! You should be inspired to NOT hurt yourself lol


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 7 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Good one - we used to do similarly risky things, often involving air guns and/or fireworks


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Paraglider, one of my brothers did shoot one of the others in the butt with an air gun. We used to call them pellet guns, think it's the same thing.


men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

No vissible naughty scars apart from a broken foot, dislocated shoulder, broken ribbs, but my ars still burns like hell from all the hidings we got from the old man...


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

lol M.A.D think my son might have inherited some of my wild ways as he has scars from when he tried Jackass type stunts


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Ah Blue, only saw now you went back and read it and then added to your original I was first comment! Hook in hand must've hurt!


RooBee profile image

RooBee 7 years ago from Here

Loved reading this hub! Gotta love those good old fashioned ways of keeping occupied - innocent danger, I call it. Now we have cyber bullies and classroom shootings. Oh, for the days of stabbing eachother in the feet... :)


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

Yeah Roobee, no tv games or computers in the good old days!


men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

international law should be implemented whereby kids are not allowed computer games or playstation untill age 6 or ouround in order to get back to the roots of being a child.

On the other hand english is not my first language and my nine year old has a better command/prononciation of it coz of TV cartoons and related things.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine Author

There are pros and cons M.A.D but I think parents should force their kids to play outside more than they do now.

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