Karma, my friend

Have you ever been hurt by 'false' friends?

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We all weather storms and learn and grow, this is my expression of that

KARMA

I feel so alone
So ...afraid
Maybe a little paranoid
A bit incomplete
Like a picture that won’t appear on a Polaroid
Something’s changed
It certainly has.

The people I know
The people I call friends
Seem to all be ‘off’ with me
What have I done?
What have I said?
Are things being used against me???
Something’s changed

It’s funny ‘cause I haven’t seen them in a while,
With a break from Uni,
I chilled out home ...in style,
My charger’s gone, so my phone’s dead.
But I’ve got facebook to save the day,
It’s where I inform the world of my status;
The place the world will play...communicate.
Sent them all messages
Received varied replies
From cold to just none
Even fake ones
WHY????

I even attempt to speak to some of them online
Instead of replying
They just go offline
I don’t know what to do
‘Cause during the term its where I live
It’s my home away from home,
My second family...
You know?

Feels like they hate me,
Feels so cold.
It’s probably my fault.
I just might be a SHIT friend
So no one wants to be around me EVER again.
I’ve never been hated, or so I’m told.
First time for everything...Right?????

I feel guilty feeling this way
I feel hmnn... maybe that’s all in my head
Am I the one in the wrong?
Why am I singing this SAD song?????
It can’t be me!!!
At times other can see the WAYS they have done me wrong
But I feel this battle I may still have to fight alone
As the power of one seems to control them all

All I’m doing is striving to be me
The best me I know I can be
I didn’t realise I was so different.
I no longer fit the overriding CONSENSUS.
I refuse to fall into the one thought for all
I’m a free thinker, with expression
Who’s just hit the wall because she’s ALONE.
Everyone NEEDS FRIENDS

I know I am STRONG
But some fears keep me from taking them on-
On my own- I’ve seen the damage they do when in packs
I don’t know who to trust
And who will have my back.

A little melodramatic
Yes, I know
But how would you feel if the friends you know, and love
Just left you hanging at the side of the road
I am really not putting on a show
This is how I feel right here and now
My strength fading
My happiness waning

But it’s not you; it’s me...
NO!!! It’s you; not me
I know who I am I lost her before
For a minute

Let you change me; so I could be ‘in it’
Oh how I was unaware;

had I been paying attention I would not have gone there

But I’m back. I’m all me and strong
I can do this
I can stand up TALL
And face you
And be true to me.

Has something changed?
It certainly has...NOT!!!
This is the way you’ve ALWAYS been.
I was blind to blind to see
Now you’ve let the colours show
At the same time I let my real self grow

I see you the REAL you,
You’re WEAK and SAD
Letting your minds be shaped
With horrible thoughts not even your own
One day it will all become clear
I hope that day be fast, and not to late
As you maybe in a dreadful state
In that time, that hour you need
ME and

You feel so alone
So ...afraid
Maybe a little paranoid
A bit incomplete
Like a picture that won’t appear on a Polaroid
Then you too will see
Something changed

KARMA can be a BITCH, my friend.

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Comments 4 comments

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 7 years ago from England

Absolutely brilliant, you have one hell of a talent girl, and trust me when you leave all the idiots behind, they will be the ones lonely when you are out there being successful, always be true to you, and never follow the mold. you know the saying, You laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at you because you are all the same...cheers Nell


Sa Toya profile image

Sa Toya 6 years ago from England Author

Thank you so much!

Yes I'm definitely taking your advice and moving on. Thanks again Nell x


poetlorraine 6 years ago

ah yeah move on


Gigi2 profile image

Gigi2 6 years ago from UK

One word.....fabulous!

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