Keywords Must Die!

Google's Spider Bots Are Destroying The English Language

We all know about keywords, those Google-driven literary devils which haunt our writing. Keywords are words which the search engines demand in order to properly index our text via their Draconian algorithms into their Brobdingnagian lists. (Index that, Satanic spider bot!) All online writers of the modern age are forced at gunpoint to make their text "keyword rich" which not only makes the text read like an old 45 rpm record with a skip in the surface, but violates one of the most basic and hallowed rules of the English language: Writing should be varied and non-repetitive.

Thesauruses have been thrown out of Windows all over the world (when it might have been best to throw them through the Windows on the monitor) with the advent of keywords. To find the proper nuance of wording to properly fulfill a paragraph is now a lost art. What is important is to cram as many of the same freakin' keyword into the text so that these soul-destroying software spiders can seek them out and promote your Page Ranking from the 500,000th to appear in a search of the term all the way up to a dizzying and astronomical 499,999th.

Why?

We must consider marketing. Marketing drives the economy. Thus marketing is applied by marketing companies that are engaged in marketing the products and marketing services of their corporate marketing client through marketing media based on the marketing model to be efficient at marketing to consumers who are already aware of their marketing efforts and the marketing promotion of the brand, therefore are susceptible to marketing techniques, marketing suggestions and marketing just for the sake of #$%&ing marketing!!!

I can't use the keyword "marketing" anymore! I just can't. I don't know if I was born in the wrong age, or if I have developed a grumpiness towards the mercantile economy due to my accelerating spiral towards dementia, but in every era there is always someone who sees that the society is going in the wrong direction and is compelled to scream STOP!

Usually that person is exiled, jailed or killed, but you get the point.

Way back in the age when individuals were taught English in order to express their inner thoughts and perspectives on society rather than to bamboozle people they don't know into buying things they don't need from companies which only want to sell more, more, more, there was an art and science to the utilization of the language. A true writer would never dream of using any descriptive term twice in one essay. They would agonize over the word's variants and mould the phrases in such a way that each variation would appropriately colour the particular phrase, much in the way that various tonal sequences are used by the great composers to establish mood, or different patterns and textures are used by the great painters to evoke emotion. When F. Scott Fitzgerald was seriously ill and close to death, he informed his publisher that he was only able to finish one page per day “but it was a good page.”

It has only taken the advent of the internet to turn all that grandeur of language into sewage even more malodorous and disposable than the abhorrent products which we are now slaves to marketi... marke... er... selling incessantly.

The incomparable heritage and beauty of the English language must be protected against the ever encroaching sterility of the search engine algorithms. This is not just an abstract crusade by an aging lunatic blogger, but a cause which should be close to the heart of each and every writer.

Keywords must die.

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Comments 10 comments

ink 9 years ago

I have to say I TOTALLY agree.

Even though I write thinking of keyword focus all the time, I hate it has to be that way. And you're right. We're creating a world of dross!

This might seem odd from someone who's just written this: http://hubpages.com/literature/Article-Spinners-Fr... but nevertheless, it's true!


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, ink! I do the same thing. I get assignments where you have 300 words and have to put in the keyword 30 times! That's just crazy. It is time for the Google Luddites to rise up and destroy the mighty machine!

Signed,

Captain Hal Luddcino. :)


Speedjeans 9 years ago

As writer's we're "F'd". Our choices are limited to becoming masters of the four-in-the-morning-infomertial headline ("Homeless Janitor Discovers Miracle Herb that Enlarges Penis by 6" in Less Than 24 Hours!" or we subscribe to costly services to unearth a few hundred long-tail keyword phrases that can be finessed into reasonably clever copy:

"While state-of the-art medicine has made significant advances in relieving numerous kinds of pain, the resolution of pelvic pain remains unattainable for thousands. Pelvic pain management alternatives...( a giddy 8 clicks a day according to Wordtracker with no competition for the exact phrase).

So, there we have it. Instead of looking for the clever, compelling bon mot we have to go 9,000 deep with Keyword Discovery or Nichebot to even have a shot at finding an audience.

Somewhere John Caples is having great fun watching this lunacy.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

"When you are assigned to write an webpage, write a lot of keywords first. Spend hours writing keywords or days if necessary. If you happen to think of a keyword while walking down the street or while riding the bus, take out pencil and paper and write it down." - John Caples.

I think I'm getting pelvic pain now... :(


Michael Erik 9 years ago

Hey, I wrote my article before I even saw this, and then did a Google search to check if my desired title and headline was already taken, i.e. "Keywords Must Die". You beat me to the punch, shucks! Good post BTW! I'm sick of the keyword and SEO game and how it has hurt more quality blogging. Too much focus required on things other than creating quality content. I think many of us are starting to realize how much of a mess the blog world has become, and want to do something about it and put pressure on the search engines. I'm dedicated to quality blogging and cleaning up the blogsophere, and promote a cleaner internet environment on www.qulaityblogger.com. Thanks for doing the same here. I ended up naming my article "Why I Want Keywords Dead - Don't We All?". Anyhow, Cheers! - Michael ErikQuality Blog Criticwww.qualityblogger.com"The Best Things In Life Are Free"


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 9 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi, Michael! Glad to see a kindred spirit. We should all work together to throw as many wooden clogs into the Google juggernaut as possible!


Judy Cullins profile image

Judy Cullins 8 years ago from La Mesa, CA

Just read this post with interest. I remember before key words I taught my article marketing students--Just write benefit words in your title to get people to want to read the rest. I wrote 100 articles and more and submitted to ezinearticle.com and others and got gobs of targeted traffic. When the rules changed, my articles were cut by half and now I'm on the horse again, trapped with duplicate content rules. It works, but takes so much more time. And time is life in my book. I love all of life, not just marketing! Thanks,

Judy Cullins, http://www.bookcoaching.com


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

That's the way it always is... as soon as you figure out how to do something, they change the damn rules on ya! :(


grumpyjacksa profile image

grumpyjacksa 8 years ago from south africa

if i may ask a ( stupid ) question.......

if not by keyword, how will a machine know what to give me what i am looking for ?

yes, the system sucks, but until LSI is sorted out, it's all we have..........

i must, however, agree that it sucks to write for a machine when u want humans to read it.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto Author

No question is stupid. However, the day of having to type the keyword eight times in every sentence are long gone. The algorithms are sophisticated enough now to be able to tell what content is all about. If only the majority of web publishers were actually aware of this fact. You can't imagine how many of them still want keyword densities of 10% or higher, which makes text completely unreadable!

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