Keywords Must Die!
Google's Spider Bots Are Destroying The English Language
We all know about keywords, those Google-driven literary devils which haunt our writing. Keywords are words which the search engines demand in order to properly index our text via their Draconian algorithms into their Brobdingnagian lists. (Index that, Satanic spider bot!) All online writers of the modern age are forced at gunpoint to make their text "keyword rich" which not only makes the text read like an old 45 rpm record with a skip in the surface, but violates one of the most basic and hallowed rules of the English language: Writing should be varied and non-repetitive.
Thesauruses have been thrown out of Windows all over the world (when it might have been best to throw them through the Windows on the monitor) with the advent of keywords. To find the proper nuance of wording to properly fulfill a paragraph is now a lost art. What is important is to cram as many of the same freakin' keyword into the text so that these soul-destroying software spiders can seek them out and promote your Page Ranking from the 500,000th to appear in a search of the term all the way up to a dizzying and astronomical 499,999th.
We must consider marketing. Marketing drives the economy. Thus marketing is applied by marketing companies that are engaged in marketing the products and marketing services of their corporate marketing client through marketing media based on the marketing model to be efficient at marketing to consumers who are already aware of their marketing efforts and the marketing promotion of the brand, therefore are susceptible to marketing techniques, marketing suggestions and marketing just for the sake of #$%&ing marketing!!!
I can't use the keyword "marketing" anymore! I just can't. I don't know if I was born in the wrong age, or if I have developed a grumpiness towards the mercantile economy due to my accelerating spiral towards dementia, but in every era there is always someone who sees that the society is going in the wrong direction and is compelled to scream STOP!
Usually that person is exiled, jailed or killed, but you get the point.
Way back in the age when individuals were taught English in order to express their inner thoughts and perspectives on society rather than to bamboozle people they don't know into buying things they don't need from companies which only want to sell more, more, more, there was an art and science to the utilization of the language. A true writer would never dream of using any descriptive term twice in one essay. They would agonize over the word's variants and mould the phrases in such a way that each variation would appropriately colour the particular phrase, much in the way that various tonal sequences are used by the great composers to establish mood, or different patterns and textures are used by the great painters to evoke emotion. When F. Scott Fitzgerald was seriously ill and close to death, he informed his publisher that he was only able to finish one page per day “but it was a good page.”
It has only taken the advent of the internet to turn all that grandeur of language into sewage even more malodorous and disposable than the abhorrent products which we are now slaves to marketi... marke... er... selling incessantly.
The incomparable heritage and beauty of the English language must be protected against the ever encroaching sterility of the search engine algorithms. This is not just an abstract crusade by an aging lunatic blogger, but a cause which should be close to the heart of each and every writer.
Keywords must die.
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