Kitchen Lament

What a mess!

This isn't my kitchen, but it could be if I left my husband in charge.
This isn't my kitchen, but it could be if I left my husband in charge. | Source

I have a bitchin’ kitchin,

No, I really mean it,

Everything’s out of place,

To anyone who’s seen it.

Nothing is where it belongs,

Pans rest in the sink

waiting to be washed,

At least so I think.

Skillet in the dishwasher,

It shouldn’t be there,

Put under the cabinet,

At Hubby I glare.

He’s the housekeeper,

He’s the one in charge

of this culinary mess,

This kitchen at large.

Oh, to teach this man

a thing or two,

To tidy things up,

Without being a shrew.

While I work all day

to bring home the bacon,

I really don’t care for

This mess he’s makin’.

His cooking was divine,

That I must confess.

Now he should get busy

and clean up this mess.

I survey the domain

And put on my apron,

His cleaning things up

ain’t gonna happen!

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Comments 24 comments

Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Very funny, but I'm sure it's not so funny when you're the one coming home to it! Still, what a charming poem!

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago Author

Thanks, Victoria. I have never been a poet, and I'm afraid it shows, but this verse just came to me one evening when I came home. If it were not for weekends, we would be buried!

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Your husband and I must be related!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

MizBejabbers....What a cute funny poem!! I love it. I have much worse names for my kitchen besides "bitchin," believe me......well, congratulations on having a hubby who cooks and well, at that. My hubby "grills' but he's BANNED from the kitchen! Anyone who stands reading the directions to a can of Campbell's soup.....has no business anywhere near a kitchen......wouldn't you agree??!

CMCastro profile image

CMCastro 4 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

I can relate to this! I went on vacation with my Mom for a week, and when we came back, my two brothers and Dad who were left with out us had used every single plate,bowl,dish, fork, spoon, cup and glass in the house and the counter and sink was overcome with stickiness, and you name it! I also have had housemates in shared households that love to cook but don't love to clean. I have other things to do besides the kitchen (I end up cleaning for others). Check out my hub "What Did I Find in The Refrigerator". It goes well with this hub. :)

kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 4 years ago from Massachusetts

This was a very fun and clever poem,enjoyed reading it !

Vote up and more !!!

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago Author

WillStar: That's really funny, I hope your aren't as messy as he is. He would shame a hog in the pen! Come to think of it, after he cooks and serves a meal, he's as useless as the proverbial "tit on a boar hog".

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago Author

fpherj48: Bitchin' is the mildest word I could think of. Thanks for a funny reply, and I do agree that anyone should be able to heat a can of Campbell's soup, but now that I think of it, I've seen my husband reading the directions, too. And this man went to French cooking school in Paris when he was in the air force.!

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago Author

CMCastro, the problem is, you can't retrain these people. It is almost impossible to keep a clean house with them around. Thanks for reading, I will check out your hub.

tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Cute poem, but nothing will make a house as itchy feeling as a kitchen that just doesn't cut it. I have had kitchens like this. Adorable! Sharing!

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago Author

You're right, tammy, so I don't ever want another house with a greatroom. At least we could close off the door to the kitchen in our former home! Thanks for stopping by and for the sharing.

Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

It's always time consuming to visit one of our daughters. Not the visiting mind you, but the leaving. We can't leave until my wife (her mother) has done the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Our son-in-law does the cooking on the latest in his series of BBQers. Our daughter does the preparation of the non-cooked portions of the meal, and my wife does the cleanup. It's a good system, except that when they come to our place, my wife performs all three functions for four adults and five children. Her mother was the same way and it rubbed off (thank heavens!)

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago Author

Well, perspycacious, mothers always seem to be the one in charge, at least I've been told. My mother wasn't a take-charge mother, so she didn't teach me to be. I've had to learn it the hard way, but I don't do it at my kid's houses. Their wives have made up for me. Thanks for a good comment and tell your wife not to work so hard.

CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

Lol, very funny! My hubby does the same....he's the king in the kitchen, love to flip eggs and pancakes but leaving the splatters for me to wipe and clean his mess. This is perfect to link with my not so latest "The Rhythm and Blues of House Cleaning".

Good one!

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago Author

Hey, linkit, and thanks for the read. Hubbys aren't much good at cleaning, at least I've found.

xstatic profile image

xstatic 3 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Funny and interesting. I cook a lot now since I am not working and she is, though at home. I also do the bulk of the cleanup, laundry and housework, including TOILETS. So any man can be trained properly, if he has a concscience.

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

xstatic, the key here is "if he has a conscience". I think mine doesn't when it comes to cleaning. He just can't see dirt and doesn't mind clutter. I've seen some men, including my brother, who are excellent housekeepers. Your wife is a lucky woman, and you can tell her I said so! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York


Oh goodness... I needed this laugh, though I suppose I should be offering my apologies and not laughing? :D I don't know what's more sad, that I used to know this feeling or that I don't anymore? Ha ha

After leaving a horrible 10 year relationship... I got into an equally bad five year one. This time around, I had 2 kids and I knew I'd have to bust my ass to make it work. I got 2 kids up every morning and delivered them where they had to be and then drove an hour to work, for not much more than minimum wage... on my feet all day. I'd leave work, do the hour long drive back, get the kiddos, rush home to make a Betty Crocker dinner, wash dishes, bake a snack, do homework and baths and play 'girlfriend' to the new guy, who by the way, didn't work at the time. I'd say 'Oh... my feet are so sore'; he'd reply... 'Mine too'. !!! Geesh! lol... some men think they deserve a biscuit because they've made their socks into the hamper... I don't think they have any clue how much we do!

Okay, now that I'm done ranting... thank you, I feel better and I loved your poem... lol.

Up and every other button in fact! Sharing too!


rose-the planner profile image

rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

This is so hilarious! Husbands should really clean up the mess after they have finished cooking, shouldn't they, lol?!? Wonderful and entertaining poem. Thank you for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Cat and Rose, two lovely ladies, thanks so much for the read and the comments. Yes, husbands should clean up after themselves, and I think the ones who do deserve a great big hug at the end of the day. Mine just hates housework although he's been the homemaker for many years. He uses his bad heart as an excuse so he can sit around and work on his hobbies or talk on the internet. He is soon to have knee replacement surgery, and we will see how he gets around his mess in the floors with a walker. I ain't picking it up. Maybe I should write another poem describing when he falls. Oh, somebody already has, it's called Humpty Dumpty.

Rose, that's my real middle name. I was named after my grandmother. It was her middle name, too, but instead of calling her Liza, Beth, or Betty, everyone called her Rosie. I love it!

rose-the planner profile image

rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

You're too much, lol. I think most husbands hate housework but at least yours tries and I can tell you still love him to bits. Isn't that a coincidence that your middle name is also Rose. I can't be objective, I still think it is a pretty and feminine name. When I was little I was often called Rosie by my brothers and sisters and some relatives. I am one of the youngest in my family and even though I am all grown up, my siblings still call me Rosie. Between you and I, it still feels nice when they call me that. Take care and have a beautiful day! -Rose

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

From one Rose to another, Thanks!

Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

You are definitely a one of a kind! Hallelujah! :D

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Cat, yep, I've been told that when they made me, they threw away the mold, but it was usually followed by "thank goodness!"

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