Ode To a Kitty Cat

Ode to a Kitty

You are still adorable, still as lovely as you’ve ever been.

Although your cuddly softness left you as soon as rigamortis set in.

I will not let you go, from my heart or from my sight

Though you lay there stiff and alone, like a nerdy boy on prom night.


I will not let you go… not for the piano that begs to be re-strung,

Not due to the odor emanating from your tail and its coated stale dung.

Not for the neighbors who complain about the smell,

Mr. Peters in apartment 403 can just go to Hell.


It’s been eight months since you left me and meowed for the last time,

Though I had you only a few days, you became a true friend of mine.

We would have been together longer, your life would have surely last,

Had I not enrolled in that internet-based veterinary medical class.


So now you lay motionless, my power tools deep inside you,

All your nine lives used up, your carcass now a deep blue hue.

A conversation piece, a door stop, a former pet all in one,

An yet still quite a bit tasty, when all is said and done.






Please note that no animals were harmed during the production of the poem above.

All blame and complaints should be directed to..

http://hubpages.com/hub/Killer-Ideas-for-Your-Next-Hub

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Comments 21 comments

ralwus 5 years ago

LOL Winner fer sure! Yum.


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 5 years ago

lolol! You sir have employed due diligence in pursuit of your poetic art. I applaud you.

Of course I'm also going to report you for the cruel and despicable act that caused the demise of your poor kitty. That goes without saying.

The fact that you wrote a disclaimer doesn't actually mean I or anyone else would believe that you didn't remove all evidence of life from your pet. You appear to know too much about the death and suffering that power tools can cause :/

Still, well done. More so because you're clearly stricken with grief. Marvelous :)


Haunty profile image

Haunty 5 years ago from Hungary

lol The best poetry is born of real life experience. Clearly, this has happened.


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 5 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

I love this! :)


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

Greek, you have just taken the contest to a whole new level. I'm not sure the rest of the contestants can go that low. This was hysterical! Love it!


SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 5 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

..that was too funny! LOL!....and here I just put my poor kitty 'down' 2 weeks ago!......


FloBe profile image

FloBe 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

ROFL...oh, my goodness!! I've never laughed so hard. Oh boy, after all these kitty poems, you'd never know that I'm really a cat-LOVER!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 5 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

The one word that comes to mind is ASSAULT. This ode is an assault to all of my senses, plus my sense of propriety.

In short, I love it!


DoorMattnomore 5 years ago

Cool how you fit DIY surgery in there. No one ever said surgery had to be on people!! Awesome as always.


rajab nsubuga 5 years ago

Its quite a disturbing dream!


ltfawkes profile image

ltfawkes 5 years ago from NE Ohio

"Mr. Peters in apartment 403 can just go to Hell."

Yeah. Take that, Peters. (Like HE never kept a pet corpse around for eight months. Puh - lease!)

Nice hub, Greek.

L.T.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK

Hello?

As one of the three judges of this here competition may I just say that I consider this Hub to be a likely candidate for first prize? A candidate, mind you, not a cert.

May I also casually mention that we have formed a new charity, coincidentally called “The Three Judges Charity” and any contribution you may care to make to it shall be given the consideration it deserves?

Furthermore, I wish to give the lie to inaccurately spurious and dastardly rumours spread by a person who shall remain nameless (let’s call him Stan for argument’s sake) that we shall be happy with bribes of only chocolates and flowers? Naturally we live for literature and are doing this for the good of humanity, but any poor chump who thinks that he or she will have a chance in hell of winning this competition with a bunch of flowers, has another thing coming. ;-)


ralwus 5 years ago

LOLOLO


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Congratulations on a lovely, poetic treatment of the kitty topic.

I am a member of "The Three Judges Charity" and need you to know that I can be bought. Flowers will get you a couple of points, certainly, but I personally can be swayed by things that shine and shimmer. Cash is always acceptable, as long as it's graced with at LEAST 6 zeros. And the other numeral must be the first.

I'm as honest as the day is long-I'm sure you can see that.

Do let me know if you'd like to participate. I need to get to work on my upcoming itinerary!

I wish you well-

lorlie6


schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 5 years ago from USA

Gotta say, it's an interesting poem.....clever too :)


ScottMadiJack profile image

ScottMadiJack 5 years ago from Philadelphia, now living in Delaware.

Seriously cracking up! That was too much! love it


Brenda Durham 5 years ago

haha

Oh my God! I love cats, but this is hilarious, Greek One.

Two thumbs up! errrr....rated UP and hugely funny!


Anthea Carson profile image

Anthea Carson 5 years ago from Colorado Springs

Funny


SaMcNutt profile image

SaMcNutt 5 years ago from Englewood, CO

Twisted and funny. Reminds me of a short story by Flannery O'Connor (I think it was her). She sleeps next to her dead lover, or something like that.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

HP is place for comedy..............

You murderer, you killed the poor pussycat with powertools.


sassyk73 profile image

sassyk73 5 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

lol....all I have to say is wow...lmfao :)

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