LENGTHENING SHADOWS

LXXXII.

Watercolor copyrighted by Nellieanna Hay
Watercolor copyrighted by Nellieanna Hay


The Recorder ~ Sept. 25, 1970


Lengthening shadows

Indicate

The escape of

Yet another day.


The mournful bawl of a cow

Somewhere, somehow,

Impatiently punctuates

The stillness.


A dog barks nervously

At shadows, at some minor vague irritant

While the International DateLine

Separates one side of my room

From the other

With this dry, sticky gloom


While another reminder, -

A fragile breeze, -

Stirs leaves and trees

And me.


Distant woods sounds reverberate

With haunting

Hollow echos, -

Signaling this early Autumn dusk.


I've no regrets -

Except perhaps to see

That it's a frequent scene

And too often tests my trust.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Exploring the moon's surface

Is no more overwhelming

Than a timid step into

The bittersweet, agonizing

Desolation Of the heart,

Mining for freedom.


The moon may be

Less lonely ~

Even in its craters.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

1971




















Life Fantasy


I am anywhere, everywhere.

I am here, I am there.


Life knows no bounds,

No time, no place.


There is no how,

There is no why.


There is no now.

There is no space.


There is only this~

Below, above,


To learn to be,

To give and live, ~ to love.-


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

Nov. 1971




I struggle only

Against this fear,-

The struggle itself.


I struggle to escape it;

To escape the need to know

It all -

Right now.


Be still, my soul,

And you will know.

You will

Know.


_____© Nellieanna H. Hay

Fall, 1971



What is music

But the symbolization

Of one's yearning

For whole being,

A little closer

To the source;

A little further

From the symbol?


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

Fall, 1971


Quest


Deep rhythms

Of the soul

Erupt to shake

My torpor.


I know that

Nothing can remain

The same.


All must move

With life's

Current.


Even this.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

Fall, 1971


More by this Author


59 comments

moneycop profile image

moneycop 5 years ago from JABALPUR

just one word....rich and beautiful....

enlightening if you are soul driven person you will definitely love to learn the way to real happiness as i mentioned. Just have a look and practice love and happiness.

thanks for this hub . so many poems at a place


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Moneycop - Thank you for a lovely comment!

You are so right about that, and by coincidence, I was adding another poem either while you were writing your comment, before I saw your comment! The added poem expresses similar thoughts to yours!

Yes, I usually post a small collection of poems, rather than just one per hub.

Thanks you for being the first to comment, too!


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

A literary cascade of delight. Stepping with each poem, walking down memory lane. Beautiful...


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

You are a true artist with both pen and pallette. The seventies were a time for this soul searching endeavor. You have preserved at time capsule for our pleasure.


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 5 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

OK, I am not going to embarass you and tell you how great you are!

This article reflects, growth and a sense of "awareness."

One must be "aware" for personal growth...

You decide what "awareness" is...

Another awesome Hub article!


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Nellieanna, an excellent assembly of poem. It reaches the heart of the matter, both, imaginatively and truthfully, we have always had the beat though the rhythm and pace may change from soothing to rock and roll or anyplace one can call the spectrum, yet that spectrum truly has no bounds to confine us.

You wrote: :To learn to be,

To give and live, ~ to love.-

That sums the message that for many is evasive, but in truth has always been etched in our hearts from the beginning. We just need to pause and listen, with our mind engaged to find it there, in the beating heart, amongst the clutter that needs swept out. Then we find freedom in living.

I have found that message here and it may be, just me, but a complete heart and soul alone is better than 20 fragmented souls in search, until they find and complete themselves they cannot help another.

I thank the creator for this occasion, that few will find, and you for putting it to word.

Many Blessings,

Much Peace and Love,

Dusty


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

I Love Your Shades Of Grey Nellieanna!;)


Maralexa profile image

Maralexa 5 years ago from Vancouver, Canada and San Jose del Cabo, Mexico

This is just beautiful, Nellieanna.

"What is music A little closer To the source; A little further From the symbol?"

This has such rich meaning for me.

Thank you for helping me to see the beauty of an open heart willing to divulge its secrets.

Your true fan, Marilyn


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Augustine - what a beautiful comment! I'm so pleased you enjoyed the little stroll together. Thank you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mike - yes, I think the 70s were a time for general soul-searching. But mine was out of the general loop and was an endeavor to literally hold on to my being. Very little art went into those poems. They poured forth and expressed some of what I had to address in the process in order to survive.

I can understand how it can relate to others' experiences, as well, and perhaps need not even be linked to a special 'time' other than life-time, especially when the senses are attuned for whatever reason. There are eras in which that is more ambient and the 60s and 70s were among them, in general.

I like this comment. I hadn't really thought about it like that! Thank you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, Dallas - so true. I wrote so prolifically during that period of my life, that no single or handful of the poems really described what-all was transpiring within me. For years it was impossible for me to consider any one poem as being "it" or even having individual merit. Now, with the perspective of 30 or 40 years, I can look upon it a bit more objectively. At the time, it was my life-blood circulating. Mostly it was healthy and full of oxygen, but at times, as in this selection of poems, it was in its more depleted condition & returning uphill through the veins to be re-nourished by the heart and lungs.

It's hard to describe, but it sustained me. It was my actual emotional sustenance. There are so many more 'positive' poems written then, because that is why they had to be written, in an otherwise negative situation: - to keep my own being intact, to resist the negativity. I was always a positive 'me' so that predominates that mass of poetry.

It's only since Hubpages that I've shared more than a very few of those poems with very few close people, so it's still a new experience for me to lay them out like this. One little one said it well:

Tread softly;

It's my soul.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dusty - I like that imagery: that the full spectrum of experience is boundless and need not confine us. Yes, exactly! To be, to give and live and love - are the essences of our beings and when kept uppermost, it frees us from the anxiety which otherwise besets and destroys folks.

I guess all 20 searching fragmented souls, though, represent all of us until we find and complete or have found and have completed ourselves enough to be fit to help another. But those experiences of our own, being fragmented, too, - equip us to understand.

I guess it might be likened to the discords which enable us to be drawn by the harmony in music, so as to know the difference!

Your comments are most uplifting, Dusty! Thank you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah, Bryan - the shades of grey help define and evaluate the purity of the black and white, as well as the rest of the visible spectrum. Thank you for loving mine! And especially for coming here to find out! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Maralexa - That is wonderful, that it touched special meaning for you!

I'm fascinated with how words themselves are merely symbols of things with reality, yet needed to communicate thoughts and feelings about real things. I've been concerned that too often the symbols seem to replace the real in people's minds. We fall in love with the symbols and grow indifferent to the real, all too much. TV is an example, I guess. The hype, the unnatural colors, the trick photography - so entrancing. Makes the 'everyday' seem dull and even tiresome too often.

Music, though symbolic, too, is so much less abstract symbol and more real experience, it seems to me. When it stirs us deep within; it is real feelings and emotions, real visualizations which are stirred, and the music itself is a reality - the tones of the sound spectrum. So that is some of what inspired this little poem.

Yes, I guess I've divulged much. How can one write poetry otherwise, though? Thank you so much for being a fan and really keying into the meanings!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

All must move

With life's

Current.

Even this.

this last is an amazing touch. i do hope your poetry never ends nor my capacity to read and let it sink into my heart.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

We are blessed to have you here, Nellieanna, sharing these soulful and heartfelt bits of your life through your poetry and art. May you remain like the Energizer bunny ... just going and going and going ... :)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

They are all beautiful poems Nellieanna, but there is an element of struggle and distress running through them all, that I hope is out of your life now.

I second the wish of drjb.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Neelesh! Now my day is complete! Haven't seen enough of you lately! Thank you for coming by and leaving a lovely message for me about my poetry. As for the poetry - there is no end in sight! :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

DRBJ - I value your approval highly! Thank you! You're so kind! Hugs. Well - just call me Nellieanna, The E.B. ;-> Going and going strong!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Christopher, How kind you are! Thank you for noticing the tone of these poems and caring about it.

Not to run it in the ground, (though I've mentioned some of this before here), a bit of explanation now, with these particular poems in view: Out of thousands of poems written during that period of my life, there really were only a handful which reflect this level & degree of elemental struggle and distress reflecting externals of my existence and my relationship with them. Most of my many poems, though, reflect my own positive and/or philosophical nature which even then permeated my inner life and most of my responses to those detrimental externals.

Recently, though, I've thought a little realistic balance in presenting my poetry might be in order since I seem to possibly 'come across' as Granny Pollyannie who's never endured any of life's downers beyond a cooking mishap, (making a logical conclusion: - what could Nelieanna possibly know about real problems?) Fact is, that pollyannie is not me. I know real problems on first-name basis and also know what helped me through mine. But the positive me was and is quite real. Poetry helped me hang on to her.

My message, such as it is, is about finding positives in one's experiences, rather than wallowing in the varying and ever-present negatives or fixing the blame for them. It doesn't imply ignoring negatives at all, but acknowledging and feeling them as they come and GO and then continuing to find and cultivate one's positives, plus taking responsibility for one's predicaments and one's own emotional health which may or may not result from such experiences.

At least, that was how I maintained my sanity and emerged relatively unscathed from a truly horrid 18-year first marriage. Poetry and being able to 'run things by" my own inner consciousness via it, and then later being able to review them in black and white, (while also profusely reading the wisdom of many qualified writers) were virtually my only outlets and helps, my poetry having no other purpose in being written at the time.

To my own amazement, when my world fell apart, no matter what I did or didn't do, I'd grown enough to manage that unpleasant outcome, too, and was able to rebuild my life almost 'from scratch'. I continued to write! The sheer volume of it gradually moderated as better times ensued, but I always write poetry. I can't help myself! It doesn't have to serve any further purpose, but if it does, I'm overjoyed.

I have no idea how it measures up as "real" poetry. I do know that it feels good when intelligent folks seem to like it, and to glean valuable meaning in it, now that I've been sharing it; - folks like YOU and many others here! :-) Makes me happy that I found HP and the great people here. Hugs!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Is there anything you cannot do, woman?

Watercolour by Nellie Anna Hay!

I am beginning to despair of ever emulating your genius.

You would have fitted into il Risorgimento, the Rennaisance my dear, like a talented hand to an exquisite glove.


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Just when I think there can't possibly be more poetry, wisdom, and talent in expression you bring more to blossom. These are like a candle in the dark. Thank you for sharing the light :)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

"HUGS" to you too Nellie.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ian, - I dabble at painting - whatever it takes to bring you out of the shadows! I've been missing you!!! If emulating were possible or advisable, it would need to be the vice-versa: - me emulating YOU.

What a lovely visual - the hand in a glove! I'm intrigued by the Renaissance, for sure. It's just where I'd go to find you at work!

Thank you! I am truly happy to see you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Alexandra! I was wondering when I'd see you at HP again!! I know how busy you must be, though. So I'm especially delighted. And such wonderful approval of my words. Thank you. Big Hugs, sweet friend! Please don't be a stranger!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Christopher - Ah-h-h-h! That was nice! :-)


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

This precious collection of poems as always never disappoint - they are beautiful. I love the thoughts that each poem brings to mind and the collection is wonderful.


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Nellieanna, I miss being in HP more often! You are right though. I'm taking courses to help me in setting up my own business, doing some work on the side for some fellow hubbers who happen to be excellent authors :) and in between, developing inventory for my business. I desperately need these courses though - I've been on the creative side of things all my life and have never used an accounting program! Anyway, that's a little of what is going in in my life and why it is such a pleasure to visit your pages both here and at the Oasis. Yes, I pop in there too. It's like stopping by for tea with a dear friend :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Pamela - Thank you. I'm delighted that the poems bring your own thoughts to mind. That's the best effect of a poem, in my opinion, - sharing with and touching others. In a way, the reader is part of the poetry creation process.

I'm pleased that you come by to share my feelings through these poems, too. No doubt you noticed that this collection tells of some of my less usual darker feelings. But all feelings are precious and one would be deprived without the full spectrum of his or her honest feelings. Then, of course, it is how we respond to the flow of our feelings that makes the difference.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah - Alexandra, that was what gave me a clue how busy you must be! I picked up on some of that work you've been doing for some fellow hubbers in designing ebook covers and such. I do admire both your talent and your 'get-up-and-go' as it's sometimes called!

I can just imagine what a challenge a first-time accounting program had to be, especially as complicated as the programs have become!

As you may know, I also was into creative pursuits more but at some early time it was realized that a business course would be useful, so I took a sort of 'cram' summer course in shorthand, typing and bookkeeping - all well before computers, when it was all 'by hand'. I had a brief job with a lumber & concrete company using all those skills and it was eye-opening. Later I stumbled into a job with a building company as an architectural draftsperson which led into about 9 years of working with architectural design, including measurements and other calculations, plus accounting related to materials and labor, as well as inter-personal experience with salesmen and customers - and managing an office full of craftspeople. I had to hone some minimal math skills and break out of timidity! Then I undertook a career with Mary Kay, in which one is one's own business manager, especially when I became a sales director.

Even so, life-experience aside, I was ill-prepared for mastering my earliest computer accounting program, which I still use, as well as the tax preparation programs. Intuit and I started almost together - with Quicken and Turbo-tax. I used Quicken when my computer was still run with a DOS floppy disk & data was on a second floppy! So I'm pretty glad that I have an almost balanced right and left brain, slightly leaning toward the creative hemisphere, so for me it's still a challenge and is NEVER my preference to get into all that analytical logical stuff. But reality demands, right? hehe.

So - I also must revert to beauty and grace - and tea - for respite! And that's one reason I miss reading your beautiful poetry and prose! Hug, dear dear friend.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Nellieanne, this collection ‘Lengthening Shadows’ - and the music - awakened in me all those feelings of emptiness, unhappiness, sadness and loneliness I had to deal with during my marriage of 20 years. And this is the reason why your poems are so successful – they penetrate the soul and arouse our emotions. Gosh, I’m so sad now. Let me hop over to your previous hub – it seems to me I’ve missed it.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

No, I haven't missed any of your hubs. I wanted to send you fan mail, but can't find the facility on your profile. And I'm actually crying because of those lovely words about me on your profile - 'my cyber daughter'. I feel so honored, my dearest Nellieanne, to have direct access to your beautiful heart. I can send you an email now, sharing whatever I need to share, and you will come to my rescue with the best advice and inspiration I can dream of. Lots of hugs from me to you :)))


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Martie - I know. These are poems reflecting those same kinds of feelings you mention being stirred. I felt them many times during that 18 year marriage I endured, but they honestly didn't dominate my thoughts and feelings - because, even back then, I knew or was learning to feel them and then to let go of them in their time. Burying them is no good, one must be authentic. But feelings are alive and like other alive entities they pass on to allow others to be felt. Therein is the secret for dealing with them. The externals were quite gloomy much of the time for me, but I - - "I" was not gloomy, although, - as these poems relate, - when I was feeling it, it was deep and real; and so long as the same externals continued, they were always to return for their moments. I sometimes felt trapped of course, but I knew why I had to endure it, which helped. And primarily, I didn't allow the negativity to poison my soul. That was my victory.

Anyway -- it is from all life's experience we learn and grow.

By the way - - you left me LOVELY fan mail a good while back. I don't know whether it's possible to leave it again. And I love what you wrote then!

But, yes, the new HP set-up puts the button for following (where one can also leave fanmail) in a different place now. It's at the top of the profile page to the left of the profile pic in a green tab, along with the number of followers the hubber has, in parenthesis. Just says "follow" and clicking it immediately makes one a follower of the person and opens up the page where the fanmail window is located.

I'm honored, as well, having access to your beautiful heart and soul. I look forward to an email fro you! Hugs and love.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Oh my, your words reverberate sadness especially in these verses

"A dog barks nervously

At shadows, at some minor vague irritant

While the International DateLine

Separates one side of my room

From the other

With this dry, sticky gloom"

I feel your soul separating from your heart and the anxiety, stress and pain of those fragile years in your life. The escape, the desperation in your words. You bare a little of your past and soul here my sweet poet. Have you been peeking into my well, as you know I have much yet to tell and share from my murky pool.

The 70's were difficult for me as well, in my 20's and yearning for change, I was leaving some great friends and a lover behind me and moving to the wide open spaces of the Prairies, leaving the fast city life of Montreal, Quebec.

I have no regrets now 30 some odd years have past and I am comfortable in the West. Nellieanna I've said it before and I will say it here again, your poetry is brilliant. You are in a class all of your own, I won't even measure it to your Muse Emily, you are simply at one with your soul and your work will be found and published and recognized, maybe not in your lifetime or mine but you will be.

I truly believe that and the benefactors of your legacy will swoon when they read your beautiful poetry. Hugs to you always from me, your loyal fan and fellow poet from afar.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland

Nellieanna,

Thank you so much for sharing your Lengthening Shadows. This collection means a lot to me because, you are correct, your collections are so wise, prolific, positive, powerful and bright that one would think you were never depressed a day in your life. :)

My poetry can be very dark at times, and I do struggle (I have shared my issues with you before) yet I am by nature a positive and strong person - and I do feel bad for publishing dark poetry at times. Sometimes I feel like it's alive and it is contagious, so I hold back on some pieces.

I whole-heartedly agree with with Ken, and I admire you so much. Your poetry is brilliant.

I have to share with you my favorite poem from this collection:

I struggle only

Against this fear,-

The struggle itself.

I struggle to escape it;

To escape the need to know

It all -

Right now.

Be still, my soul,

And you will know.

You will

Know.

_____© Nellieanna H. Hay

Fall, 1971

This one is near and dear to my heart. I think it's about impatience and wanting the answers to why you have to endure the pain you are facing. It makes it so much easier to find the strength when you know why things are happening and how much more of your strength you need. When you feel you have reached the limit of all you can take, something else happens. That's the beauty of the human spirit though. When we think we can't be any stronger, somewhere we find the light and a reserve of energy kicks in. I've surprised myself with how strong I can be. That's what this poem reminds me of.

I like the saying, "God only gives us what we can handle. I just wish he/she didn't think I could handle so much." I have figured out though that we do eventually find out why we have had to endure what we have. One day it all just makes sense. I believe this is what you are referring to?

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us that was about struggling and a harder time - I'm ready again for your hubs about the beauty and love you have known in your life. :)

They inspire and uplift me. I get lost in them and find a philosophical truth that touches my soul like no one else can.

Thank you, my friend. love and hugs.


DavePrice profile image

DavePrice 5 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

I've been gone so long. And I've missed you so much. This was a wonderful place to come to get back to the heart of you. The world is not worthy of a heart such as yours.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California

Oh my goodness Nellieana, how beautiful all of this was. You're so creative. I noticed most of the poems were written in 1971, was this a special period for you? That painting was simply awesome. Naturally voted up, awesome, beautiful.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Nellieana--your poems are delightful! saddlerider referred me to you because of my love for Emily Dickinson. You DO remind me of her in your style. Some haunting, searching, hesitant.... You even use dashes as dear Emily did. I gave you all kinds of votes on this one and look forward to reading more of you. Lovely, lovely!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ken - you understand those feelings I felt then. Your dark well was only recently recorded! This of mine was written during that time it was happening. That's something important (to me) to emphasize.

A majority of my poetry written during that bad time was quite optimistic or at least philosophical, sometimes lyrical and full of delight with what I chose to see around me, to me, is its main value & message: that one can be truly put to the fire and feel the flames grabbing and even be singed, yet "BE" in there - & especially can emerge - with the verve of life and the innate ability to overcome the wounds even better than before. It's important to live the whole spectrum of it, to feel every hurt and pain, but more important to also live the choices that are always there even during it, to look to the light and seek the bright horizon, which is always there too.

From the perspective of years, that is what I most want to communicate to others, that one can remain whole and that no external experience can define or defeat one, if one keeps in touch with the bigger "whole" scope of one's being.

So I needed to show these dark shadows too - because they were so real when I literally lived them.

I'm so happy that you have emerged too, Ken. Your experience was unique to you. You didn't write about it then but you are writing now - and it is part of your own salvation as well as being helpful to others whose experiences may parallel yours. Both our experiences are merely glimpses to others, but their messages of triumph are what matter. I guess that's what poets are for.

Thank you - always - for your beautiful compliments. My poetry might be published and recognized, but I am alive now, the living part of it & that is what matters most. We'll see what tomorrow may bring.

I appreciate you, dear Ken. I love your poetry and am awed.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Erin! I repeat what I've said before - during the time of my greatest tribulation, I was deprived of a lot of freedoms, but not of my inner freedom, where the positivity & brightness flourished. It sort of amazes me, looking back. I felt it all, and it was very real, the mountains and the valleys. That's my message now. To know that, no matter what - one can hang on to oneself.

As you say - YOU - the real you - are a positive and strong person. Yes, one's dark moments vibrate and may be contagious, but so are one's positive and bright ones, especially if they're seen as authentic. If they need the dark ones to be clearly perceived - so be it. Besides, some really good poetry is on the dark side, possibly because it's needed at times, to really connect.

Yes - the need to know how it could be resolved inspired that poem. But you know what? - That message is much bigger! We needn't know the future in any capacity at any time. We really can't - and that is reality. We may want to know what happens after death - but if we think we do, we're truly conjuring it out of imagination and possibilities, not out of reality. We'll know if we reach it. But the good news is, as we build today - in the moments which are within our grasp - we're actively making a future possible which we can embrace when it happens. It's much like that time of not knowing in my life but still 'knowing' that what I am and do matters as the future becomes the now. It's ongoing. We do get only what we can handle. Where we may mess up is trying to resolve and handle what's not yet given - the future - or what's over with - the past. If we learn nothing but how to LIVE while we're really alive - now - we're way ahead.

There will be more hubs about beauty and love. In fact, as I started this one, I'd been collecting brighter ones for a new hub. The theme of lengthening shadows of fall came to me - it is not a sad one to me. I love fall and always love the way that "feel of fall" creeps in. And the way the sun is lower in the sky makes the shadows are longer, and the slightly crisp feel of the air and the smell - ahhhh the smell!

Then I found the poem I wrote so long ago starting with 'lengthening shadows' and it became clear that I needed to publish that and others with its theme. Any sadness it evokes was not the intention, but it is reality - the coin always has two faces. Joy is no exception nor is gloom; they are counter-faces of each other. It's how we meet them in their turn that matters to us.

Thank you, dear friend.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dave! It's a pleasure to welcome you to my hub. It happens to be a rare 'darker' one, but it was part of the truth and I felt it needed to be shared, along with the other brighter of my poems. I think it says that all things do work together.

Thank you for such a beautiful compliment but I can't take me that seriously! (blush) Hugs.

Welcome home!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Fastfreta - wow - how nice to see you. I guess it's rather known that I endured a lengthy bad marriage. The time of these poems was a time of its intensity. Mostly I was optimistic throughout the 18 years, as the bulk of my poetry written during the period reflects, but it seemed unrealistic not to share some of the 'down' moments too. So - I shared this.

Thank you for the votes and lovely comments. I write more than I paint. But there are some paintings I share sometimes.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Victoria Lynn - thank you! I know you must be a kindred spirit! I'm so glad Ken directed you to visit my site.

These poems in this collection are probably less typical of my overall poetry, but of course, they're part of it. I guess Emily had some dark ones, too. Mine are usually not dark. So I hope you visit some other of my poetry hubs to get a more balanced look.

I'm afraid I was a dyed-in-the-wool dash-user even before I 'met' Emily. But of course, it is one of our commonalities. I feel great kinship with her.

I love ED's letters even more than her poems, actually. I've perused every biography I could find of her life over the years, as well. And I'd love to visit Amherst. Perhaps I will one of these days.

I'm pleased you came and thank you for voting, too.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

You have such a soothing, evocative style Nellianna. I hope you find a soothing place too, as you deserve one. Cheers


makusr profile image

makusr 5 years ago from India

Nellieanna,

Greetings from MAKUSR. To me you are not just an artistic person which reflects from your collection of lovely verses, you are a very considerate person also as reflected from the reply which you have posted to the comments. First of all you have replied every comment separately. Then, you have tried to explain everything which the comment contains. The importance which you give to an individual is heartwarming and deserves to be followed. I announce that least I can do is to follow you.

Lots of Love,

MAKUSR


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Keith - thank you, kind sir! If you notice, those poems were written MANY years ago, as many others I've posted were. Mostly even then I was intrinsically a happy person, so mostly the poetry I wrote expressed that more than what these poems reflect, which was that the circumstances of my marriage were definitely not happy ones. Since then, - 40 years since, in fact, - my life has been better and better. I enjoyed almost 30 years with my real soulmate up until his passing 3 years ago and have remained content, even since then. I get to share some of my life and experiences with great folks - like you - and I enjoy great health and find much delight in life.

So your good wishes for my soothing place is a 'shoo-in'! Hugs and thank you for the visit to my hub!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

MAKUSR, How kind and generous you are! Thank you.

Truth is, I'm somewhat selfish because I just love the opportunities to discuss things with the delightful folks here on Hubpages. When they come and take their time to comment on what I've published here, I'm awed and delighted. So naturally, I can barely wait to reply! There are many wise comments, too, which deserve further expansion and responding to them allows them to expand. Also, when I publish something, I hope that it will be understood, so anything I can add to make it more easily understood, I'm pleased to add in reply to the comments. My main purpose and motive for writing is for clarification, after all.

I just visited your site and was so impressed. Your writing about inspiring people and your dear spirit really 'grab' me. I left a comment on one of your hubs and intend to also follow you so I can keep up with what you're doing! Thank you for the visit and the follow, too! Hugs.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland

Nellieana,

What a beautiful response, thank you so much. I suppose that what's always helped me through the dark times is always knowing about that cycle you refer to - the opposite sides of the coin. I believe in that wheel of life in everything turns around, sometimes we're on top, sometimes we're struggling - but it's looking to the future (not in details) where I always placed my hopes.

I've tried this past year or so "living in the present" - keeping myself here to absorb all that is in order to glean the wisdom from the dark in order to enjoy the light that much more.

I love the autumn too. In fact, this weekend, the temperatures are supposed to drop and I'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait to see the first hint of changes of color in the leaves. It's so beautiful here in the fall. Thanks so much again, for your lovely response. Wishing you a wonderful season and many hugs, Erin


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Erin - That's good! The ideal is that the 'future' is the one we are living in the present - the one we may have looked forward to yesterday or last week; because when the future arrives, it is always the present. So how well we've learned to use the present is really all the hope for the future on which we can count. Of course, if the present is entangled in problems, it is a comfort to know it needn't stay that way, that we can trust that "nothing is forever" and "tomorrow IS another day".

But till we figure out how to be really OK right now, in whatever the circumstances, the future remains a tenuous, evasive, and elusive carrot at the end of the proverbial stick. We must grasp our good NOW & take it with us if we are to have it tomorrow.

I know it is like a broken record. If I hadn't needed to learn it when everything looked so dark and unendingly hopeless, I wouldn't have the guts to keep mentioning it.

'Trying to' has turned out, for me, to have its limitation. I have realized that things work better for me if I 'intend to' and 'am open to' them than if I introduce the element of a lot of effort. I really believe that 'it' is already present within, natural and eager to be expressed, so that trying has the tendency to stuff it even further down. Probably the reason it wasn't already out and in operation was too much trying to get it going.

It's a leap of faith, in a way - to say to oneself, "ok, I want it to be good and there's no reason it can't be, so here I am - ready for it, like good ground for good seed & letting it start to happen and flourish." But that is sort of how it works for me. When I paint myself into a corner or find my anxiety gathering, rather than trying so hard to fix it, I let myself relax from it, divert my attention to something more available, - (even focusing on just organizing the facts about it more manageably) and letting the tangle rest and reveal its own resolution.

It's a bit like those little necklace chains that get all knotted up and tangled. The more one tries to force it to let go, the worse and tighter the tangle becomes. Just relaxing the grip and gently toying with the links, really looking at them to see which way they're tangled helps me to untangle them. The solution is always within its own tangle. So it usually is with life's tangles.

Even if the problem is something very urgent, being bound up in anxious tension does not resolve it and often worsens it. So after waiting a bit, giving it some time, if it still hasn't begun to work itself out, (which is pretty rare) - then I'm at least better able to look at it with a refreshed view which often has the seeds of solution in it. If it does pretty much resolve itself - wow! It's amazing how often that happens.

It's an oddly active rather than a passive stance, though it's not uptight.

Sometimes from the perspective of a bit of time and distance from it, it reveals to have been largely in my mind, as well,- or so it seems when the 'fix' proves to be a simple one, after all. Possibly the fixes always are simpler than they may seem during the turmoil of the challenges.

Ah - fall! We had a sudden change of weather this evening! It was from 87 to 101 for Thursday, making it 71 days for 2011 with triple digit temperature here. But a front came through and took that away! It even rained a bit. So it looks like it may not get so hot again. At least for the next week or more, there's nothing in sight but mild 50s to 80s for lows & highs. What a welcome change. Like you - I'm eager for some pretty fall leaves - if the poor trees aren't too dry. I saw a few hints of red leaves on my street a couple of days ago. So hopefully - there will be more. It's exciting.

I've published another lighter hub, by the way. I kept thinking of you saying you'd be ready for one now, after my darker revelations here.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

What a deep soul you are--you see the world and yourself through unique eyes--I often wonder if poets are born, not made--perhaps in your case, yes


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

I am speechless after reading this amazing collection of poems-God has sure given you an incredible talent with your words Nellieanna and I am so grateful you share them with us at HubPages. I love seeing the dates of these poems. Hope all is well my friend :-)


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Every time I read one of your poems in awe, the next one blows me away even more. My favorite here is:

"What is music

But the symbolization

Of one's yearning

For whole being,

A little closer

To the source;

A little further

From the symbol?"

This really reminds me of a subltle version of Yeat's, "The Second Coming" that describes people getting further from God. I am such a fan. Your work should be cannonized next to the greats. :)


Lorne Hemmerling profile image

Lorne Hemmerling 4 years ago from Port Hope

Wow, I agree with all these comments, you certainly deserve every accolade that has come your way. These are beautiful. Your writing is suburb! I am a bit of a lyricist and I know what its like to have things, all of a sudden, pour out of your soul. When your writing affects other souls, you feel connected. You have certainly touched other souls.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Audrey, dear, I'm honored to receive your reading and comments on my work. Your perception is right; I do see things from a unique perspective which was at an apex when many of these poems were penned in an amazingly prolific and self-salvaging outpour. But at the same time, I'm quite aware that each person's vision of self & world is unique. Gerg (Greg) has recently published a marvelous hub probing the subject, in fact. It's so outstanding that I recommend it, knowing you'd appreciate it: http://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/You-and-I-

Your pondering whether poets are born rather than made hit home, too. I suspect that many a poet lies dormant, awaiting awakening like Sleeping Beauty. I awakened early to it, being unable to NOT write poems, though for a long time I just wrote them, never seriously considering myself 'A Poet' till becoming conscious of having simply been born one, impelled to express myself most succinctly in verse. I wrote this little poem about it along the way:

Perhaps

Now and then

A poet-bird

Is hatched,

Leaves footprints

On the air,

Aware

She was.

The proof

Lies in

The words.

______© Nellieanna H. Hay

4-14-72


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Linda -- your comments mean much to me, knowing your own poetic soul. So 'speechless' says so much, coming from you! Thank you for reading and sharing your response!

Yes, the dates are almost part of the poems here, though I don't always include the dates which span from one of my earliest saved in about 1944 through yesterday, 2012. Many of my saved earlier poems were deliberately destroyed, so I began to protect them as I wrote them by keeping handwritten backup safely protected. Therefore, there's no scarsity from about 1970 forward. Those I've transcribed to computer so far number 1369, which is far from all, plus they keep coming!

Your reminder about dates made me realize that the timing of various hubs also lends special significance to poetry collections I've shared here on Hubpages. You may or not be aware that up till HP almost 3 years ago, 99% of my poems were unshared &existed only in their handwritten original forms, each one dated & kept in a huge collection.

One reason for that, perhaps, was that I had trouble sharing 'just one' because they are so interrelated. From time to time, I'd handwritten collections of selected poems in 'blank books' to share with very special friends.

I'd have to research my journals to determine the exact dates of my poetry hubs, but I've kept each hub numbered chronologically. For instance, "Lengthening Shadows" is poetry hub #82 out of a total 132 primarily poetry hubs I've published here to date. My other 61 hubs are primarily prose. To think that in the beginning on HP, I'd no intention of publishing any of my poetry! See what friendly encouragement does! :-)

Yes, dear friend, all is well. Each day is a wonderful gift! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Tammy - Thank you! I went to your hubsite and discovering I wasn't yet a follower, but I wanted to be. But when I clicked 'Follow', the comment box for 'fan mail' didn't appear, though I tried twice. Since I almost never follow without leaving my reason why, I unfollowed for the time being & will try again later. Still busy here at past 4AM, I've probably exhausted my computer's patience! Now it's starting to do another of its none-too-subtle pranks, so I'll be brief!

I want to thank you for telling me which poem you favor. I had to refresh my memory of Yeats' poem and must admit I probably wouldn't have seen the comparison, but now that you mention it, I can, a bit.

Oh, my - I blush. I'd hope my work might not be totally lost to posterity, but hardly canonized! But thank you for such a grand compliment!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Lorne H. ~ I had to investigate who you are and I must say, I'm impressed! Your music dedication & background are outstanding! So I'm the more pleased that you compare my poetry to that in a way.

To me, one of the main qualities of a good poem is its 'music'. It may or may not rhyme, but it must have an intrinsic rhythm & a sense of melody & harmony. It's a little hard to explain in mere words, because it's something that's either sensed or it's lacking; but I'm sure you understand!

Thank you for the lovely way you explained your response to my work!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

I am so blown away that you shared you did not plan to publish your poetry here. You are so right that this journey of writing on HubPages is much more than writing-it's about growing and meeting people that nurture our talents which give way to more and more sharing of our souls in our writing. God Bless you my lovely friend and the thought of your progression here gives me goosebumps. I think you sharing that will help hubbers that are new and fear sharing of certain parts of themselves. Your opening up can be cathartic that we are all on a journey here-even our famous Nellieanna that is so respected and admired.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Linda - how nice to see you've returned! You're so sweet.

Yes, we do have a very unique chance to share our very souls in our writings here. Even though it wasn't my intention, it's been good to share myself and, perhaps, have a positive encouraging influence on others.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working