LIFE VS. DEATH
This Book Changed My Life
I decided to write about this after an old friend told me that she had experienced death for the very first time and asked me to bring up the discussion on another media site. I really had to think about this for a few days since I am very close to this subject. Almost too close and most of the time I do not like to discuss this subject because of what I went through as a child. The fears that come along following the death of a person you love imprint themselves deep in your soul. They never go away nomatter how strong you are. Especially if the person died under tragic circumstances or your relationship was unsettled.
Death knocked at my door at the tender age of eight years old. All I can say about it is that it changed my life forever. I suddenly became older then my years and put on a very brave face. I found my love for comedy then really quickly while I desperately tried to escape the hurt and the pain. I was fantastic at making people feel better and healing their wounds. I still am. You can also say that I learned how to be “the master of chaos.” When death comes to play so suddenly, it is surprising to feel the emotions that overcome your whole entire being. Depending on what this particular person meant to you has nothing to do with it. They are there one day and then one day they are gone… like the time you watched a magician make the person disappear, but they do not come back this time.
When I was younger I often imagined the scenario of the person on stage with the magician. I thought to myself, this is where this person can choose “Life or Death.”
At any moment they can decide to break the spell and not come back. If they really wanted too they could disappear forever, for good or for an adventure that is more exciting. What an imagination I had as a child! I still do. I often imagine myself as a magician in life. I have always loved the idea of “magic.”
The main question I am bringing up here is this. What does “Death” feel like to you? Have you ever loved someone who died? How did it change you? This is really important. The reason I titled this article this way is that “Life and Death” go together at all times.
Everytime someone is born, someone dies in this world. It is the way things go. I lost my father ten days before my first son was born. It was devastating to have to think of both at the same time and also want to give my son a happy and fearless beginning. I often feel sad that my father never got to meet my children and it comes to me every once in a while when I’m smiling at them as they do silly things like I used to do before I had to grow up so fast.
When someone dies, you try to recapture their essence in some of the things you do.
I always talk about memories and funny things that happened. I try to convey some of this to my children. But then sometimes, I do not want to keep talking about the past or make them feel that they have to live my memories that were ingrained in me. I’m well assured they will have plenty of me alone! Especially like the other day that I walked into my pool in my silk pajamas to make them laugh! Yes, this is me for sure. The bottom line is that I also did it to cheer myself up because I was hurting. I thought about the way I do things and how it has all made me who I am. Laughter is the best medicine!!!
Death hits people in many different ways. I have seen how it has made others react to situations. I have seen the chaos firsthand. I have experienced all the emotions, the fears and the love and the loss. When someone close to you dies, you always worry about someone else going too. If you were really connected to the person who you experienced death through and suffered depression, it can be really hard. You can also sabotage relationships with this fear. Since I did not deal with a lot of the feelings as a child, I had to deal with an aftermath of sadness well into my thirties. There is a book that explains this and a lot of people who lose a parent as a child suffer from some sort of depression later on in life.
This is a good time for everyone to think about this subject. Since a lot of my friends and family are in their forties now and older. There are some friends I know for sure that have just experienced a big loss in their life and quite a few that know it is coming soon. A few things I did before my farther died was to verbally tell him how I felt. I also asked him questions, but looking back I wanted so many more answers. Life goes by so quickly, so remember to make peace with that person. At one point I expressed my fears to my father. I said "I really don't want to lose you" and then I cried in front of him. His answer was a classic moment and ingrained in me forever. He looked at me and said "Well what do you want me to do?"
It would be nice if you would share how you feel about this subject. I feel that this would be very helpful to quite a few people that are reading this.
Hub Pages Author - GPAGE
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