LOVER MAN, "MAGGIE" & ME...by b. Malin
JUST THE THREE OF US...
I dedicate this Hub to every Wife, Lover, Mother or Girlfriend...We must Revolt before it's too late...This story is for you!
Lover Man, "Maggie" and Me, we are quite the "Threesome". I feel like she is always there. Oh not in that way... She is not allowed in our Bedroom, our Sanctuary of Love...But in the Car, we never go far without her...So this is where my story begins. Lover Man, gently, oh so gently turns her on. Programs her and She "lights up" when she sees his reflection. He smiles and says "Hi Maggie"...yes he has named her...and I could swear, I hear her purr. She and I just Glare at one another. I don't care how strange that may sound, it's true. He turns on the ignition and we are off, just the three of...just the three of us.
Every time we pass the right junction, she gives him a soft bell and he talks back to her, and she to him in this Sexy Foreign sounding voice. It all seems to intimate for me to handle. You think I'm crazy, really, well how about when I am trying to have a conversation with my Man, and as soon as she hears my voice...She will interrupt in a LOUD nasty sounding voice..."Error, Error, Reroute, Reroute". Which of course upsets Lover Man and he now has to push buttons and get back on track, as she smiles at him...And then in spite of Everything he does, she manages to get us LOST!
Huh? you say, how's that happen?...I'll tell you how...She hates Me, and hearing the two of us laughing, or talking, or "God forBid" listening to the radio, will set her off. Of course after she has us both SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER....our little Savior, manages to save the day and gets us back on our way. I once heard him say, "Thanks Hon" and he was talking to HER!
However there is a happy note to this tale...on our last destination, she pulled her usual routine of REROUTE, REROUTE, half way through our trip. What she didn't know, was I knew how to get there. I turned to Lover Man and smiled sweetly as I said "Don't you dare...we are going in the RIGHT direction...And if that Bitch doesn't shut her mouth, I am opening the window and throwing her OUT"! They were both silent for a moment. I went on, "Look what she's doing to us, we used to be so Happy in the car...Yes, we got LOST plenty before we purchased her...and we YELLED AND Screamed at one another. Because you Men won't ask for directions...But now I can't even talk to you without "Maggie" butting in...Either she goes, or I do". Again all quiet.
Here's the compromise...Most times now Lover Man will turn her off if we know where we are going...or he will turn her voice down and look at her map...And We get to Talk or listen to the Radio, and I'm in Heaven...But I swear I can hear her say "Dumb Bitch" as she rings her Bell LIGHTLY, as she softly gives directions...All the while GLARING in my direction. Watch it Girlfriend, I say silently to her, I'm the one he takes to Bed...So don't try Screwing with my Head...YOU are nothing more than a GBS, who can be REPLACED AND DON'T YOU FORGET THAT"...and you know, I don't think she will, we've reached an understand.
So that's my tale of Lover Man, "Maggie" and Me...Just The Three of Us, Just the Three of Us!