Laughter For The Heart & Soul

WHAAATTTT?????
WHAAATTTT?????

ACTUAL LAWS:

The other day, I came across some pretty funny stuff... I don't know why, but I feel compelled to share some of it with you. (I suppose, so you can all laugh as I did, as I don't do much laughing these days...) Laughing is healthy, so try to do as much of it as possible.

Check these out, and have yourself a little chuckle:

(These are actual laws, believe it or not:)

*In Macomb, Illinois, it's illegal for a car to impersonate a wolf.

*In Rumford, Maine, it's against the law to bite your landlord.

*An ordinance in San Francisco bans picking up used confetti to throw again.

*It's against the law in Atlanta, Georgia, to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.

*It's against the law in Chicago to eat in a place that is on fire.

*In International Falls, Minnesota, it's against the law for a cat to chase a dog up a telephone pole.

*It's illegal to catch a fish while on horseback in Washington D.C.

*It's against the law to drive more than 2,000 sheep down Hollywood Blvd.

*Brawley, California, passed a resolution banning snow within the city limits.

*In Tennessee, it's illegal to drive a car while you're asleep.

*Anyone found underneath a sidewalk in Florida is guilty of disorderly conduct.

*It's illegal in New Jersey to slurp your soup.

*A Texas law states that when two trains meet at a railroad crossing, each must come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other is gone.

*It's illegal in Hartford, Connecticut, to kiss your wife on a Sunday.

*It's against the law in Kentucky to remarry the same man four times.

*In Marshalltown, Iowa, it is illegal for a horse to eat a fire hydrant.

*In Tennessee, it's against the law to shoot game other than whales from a moving car.

*It's illegal in Fairbanks, Alaska, for two moose to have sex on city sidewalks.

You mean THIS???

THIS head is a LADY-MAGNET!
THIS head is a LADY-MAGNET!

Top 12 "CURES FOR BALDNESS":

12. BEAR GREASE. Based on an interpretation of the second book of Kings,Chapter 2, in the Old Testament, the prophet Elisha tried to cure baldness by applying bear grease to his head. Bad news for bears: It was a popular remedy until the 16th century.

11. SNAKE SOUP. A popular remedy prescribed by first-century physicians: "boil snakes and rub the broth into the bald areas."

10. ESTROGEN. In the 1980's doctors found that the female hormone estrogen rubbed on a mans scalp could restore hair. Downside: It could also turn a man's voice from bass to soprano, reduce his libido, enlarge his breasts, and produce other female secondary-sex characteristics.

9. DOG PEE. From a pharmaceutical text in 17th-century Scotland came this recipe: "Wash the head with Dog's urine, and you shall not be bald."

8. HAIR IN A CAN. Invented in the early 1990's. GLH Formula #9, an aerosol-based dye with some polymers to frizz up the hair and thicken it. With the scalp dyed the same color as the hair, it gave the appearance of making balding men hair-bearing...at least on television.

7. THE "ZOO" TECHNIQUE. The Ebers Papyrus, the first known medical record, was written around 1500 B.C. and recommended applying a mixture containing "the fat of a lion, a hippopotomus, a crocodile, a cat, and a serpent to the bald area." Alternate suggestions: apply the "burned prickles of a hedgehog, fingernail scrapings, and a mixture of honey, alabaster, and red ocher."

6. FILING IT. A "remedy" used in the 1980's, "head-filing" was a treatment that involved slitting open the scalp and filing the tissue between the skull and hair folicles to thin membranes over the skull. This was supposed to "wake up the follicles."

5. "LOVE POTION". In the 1880's and 90's, French physician M. Vidal used cantharides (crushed insects better knows as the so-called aphrodisiac Spanish fly) applied to the scalp...His folmula combined the crushed bugs with acetic acid in a solution of 90% alcohol.

4. RUBBING IT RAW. A popular baldness treatment during the late 19th century was blistering (vesication) of the scalp. Irratating the area in this manner was thought to produce pooling of blood in the scalp (hyperemia), which provided more nourishment for the hair fillicles there.

3. POP CURE. Cosmetologist Rita Hartinger was the foremost practitioner of the "hair-popping" technique of hair preservation and regrowth in the 1980's. "When you lift the scalp from the bone structure by popping," she says, "it stimulates circulation and nourishes the tissue." A journalist described the sound: "as if a kernal of popcorn had exploded on the head."

2. SHOCK THERAPY. In the 1890's, a German doctor named Seeger recommended the application of frictional electricity to the scalp by means of a special plate. This was rubbed over a dry cloth or piece of soft leather and then over the bald areas several times a day.

1. THE COW LICK. In 1983 John Coombs of Wiltshire, England, was feeding his cow, Primrose, when dust from the feed settled on his bald head. As he bent to fill the trough, Primrose licked his scalp. Eight weeks later, Coombs wife noticed his hair returning. Coombs went public with his story, and people were soon lining up to get their heads licked by cows.

Funny ANAGRAMS

Owls...???
Owls...???

Some Funny ANAGRAMS:

 

DORMITORY becomes... DIRTY ROOM

CLINT EASTWOOD becomes... OLD WEST ACTION

MOTHER-IN-LAW becomes... WOMAN HITLER

ELEVEN PLUS TWO becomes... TWELVE PLUS ONE

DAVID LETTERMAN becomes... NERD AMID LATE TV

WESTERN UNION becomes... NO WIRE UNSENT

THE COUNTRYSIDE becomes... NO CITY DUST HERE

ASTRONOMERS becomes... NO MORE STARS

DEBIT CARD becomes... BAD CREDIT

THE MORSE CODE becomes... HERE COME DOTS

CONVERSATION becomes... VOICES RANT ON

TOM CRUISE becomes... SO I'M CUTER

SNOOZE ALARMS becomes... ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A GENTLEMAN becomes... ELEGANT MAN

Have a chuckle at ADAM SANDLER...

Buy Comedy here on AMAZON.COM!!!

HA! HA! HA!

Which comedian do you like the best?

See results without voting

More by this Author

  • At The Moment
    12

    How does one start their life anew? After being comfortable and complete, Now, uneasy and empty...?   One must surely be strong, Which at the moment, I am not.   How does one change their...

  • My Letter From Beyond- A Poetic Memory
    16

    From the best of days, to the worst, I am always the same... Not only do I live everyday, in hopes of "The Answer" to reveal itself to me, Once and for all, showing it's well-waited-for face in my mind, But...

  • The Hippie Era- 1969
    42

    "Make Love, Not War, Baby!!!"  I was sitting here the other day, completely BLANK, not knowing what to write about... Then it came to me... The Hippie Era! But after thinking about it for a moment, I...


Comments 11 comments

Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong

great laughs, thanks.


MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 7 years ago from New York Author

LOL. no kidding STRANGER!

Got your link!


TheRealTruth profile image

TheRealTruth 7 years ago from Virginia

"A Texas law states that when two trains meet at a railroad crossing, each must come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other is gone."

well thats texas for you. www.twitter.com/thehulkster


MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 7 years ago from New York Author

Bald IS beautiful Maven!!! And so aren't the sidewalks in Florida! (When your riding on it on a horse, tryin' to catch a fish!!!)

Glad you liked this one! :)


maven101 profile image

maven101 7 years ago from Northern Arizona

Shannon: HAW, HAW, HAW..!!! Loved this Hub...

When I'm visiting Marshalltown, Iowa I'll be sure to keep my horse away from those tasty fire hydrants, while I'm having my head licked by a Jersey cow that doesn't slurp. By the way, I'll be especially careful not to let my GOLF GAME turn into a FLOGG A ME fiasco....that's Italian for SNAFU...

Hey..!! Bald is beautiful...you should see my baby pictures...


MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 7 years ago from New York Author

Ha ha! Thanks Kari! Me too!

I wonder if the alaskan police have jail cells big enough for moose? (Because we all KNOW that they are trouble-makers, and will just KEEP having sex on the sidewalks!)


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

Thanks for the laugh! I would love to see the cat that chased the dog up the telephone pole!


MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 7 years ago from New York Author

You got me, but they are real laws!

All I have to say is I'm glad I don't live in Tennessee... I kind of HATE driving when I'm awake!


LakeFrontDuo 7 years ago

Funny laws indeed. It seems as if some of them would be hard to actually break - how do lawmakers come up with this stuff? Thanks for the funny resources.

Nice Hub


MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 7 years ago from New York Author

No kissing your wives on Sundays... lol

I wouldn't want to live in Washington DC, because I've been getting really good at fishing on horseback!!! (?) LOL


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 7 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

He, he, he, you have some very funny laws in USA. For sure I would not want to live in Hartford.

Thanks and thumbs up

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working