Learning To Fly On The Fourth Of July

 

Sitting In a lawn chair

soon to become a launch chair

on the the fourth,

with about a fifth

of what makes one add

that sixth sense

best known as inebriation.

>|<

Watching a friend

firing up a 12 shot

arial sky rocket

chinese assembly with

12 big explosive bursts

after we had all been

enjoying

some blackjacks,

jumping jacks

and Jack Daniels.

Suddenly due to

the placement

of this particuliar

fireworks assembly

on the edge of a drive,

it fell sideways

with the first blast.

In an instant I was back

in a firefight

under bombardment

from all directions

it seemed

with no cover.

Just a pair of

non fireproof shorts

and some truly inadequate

flip-flops for ground fire.

to guard my fragile flesh.

Three of us sat frozen

in shock and awe as

the second burst

rocketed between my legs

and then into the garage.

Then I yelled, Get up, Move, Run!!

and like Chickens with no heads

we zig-zagged at drunken speeds

anywhere but out of the

fireworks explosive paths.

All to no avail

because they were

going every which way

plus our way

since they were no longer

anchored by their flimsy

cardboard platform.

Seven shots whizzed

at close range by us,

with one slamming into

the porch steps

and richocheting back

towards my friend Rick

who leaped and danced

like a toothpick in heat,

to avoid the backlash.

Four more bangers

went wild luckily

because we didn't really

have anyway to get out of the

path of each blast.

Lying down would

have been stupid,

and jumping in a timely fashion

over the trails of flame

required skills we had

reduced quite a bit by drinking.

it got very quiet

and then we were

all laughing at our

fortunate escape from

third degree burns.

It could have won us

$10.000.00 dollars

on America's funniest

home videos

or perhaps some

unscheduled surgery

to repair the holes

burned in our flesh,

but neither was to be.

The camera was in

a closet upstairs

and we all came out

unscathed,

and undocumented

in our stupidity.

We became a whole

lot more careful

with the rest of

our pyrotechniques.

We also checked for any fires in

the garage or near the house

and went back to having a blast.

Some rather bizarre

form of Hop-Scotch...

added to twelve shots

we luckily didn't absorb,

and a little vodka with

more than a twist or two...

but no burnout the next day.

  |  

><

 ^

 

See you next Fourth of July...LOL~MFB III

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Comments 8 comments

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

Sounds like your fourth of july was just as exciting as mine. LOL cheers.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

Iv,e got that deep down feeling that, although you thought jack lifted you up, in reality ole jack

let you down

he made you fly high then he turned you

around and around

ole jack is good at playing and having

his topsie turvie spin

he wants you to have another

he,s a good guy, makes you think

everyone is your kin, some even your long lost brother

ole Mr. Daniels is a cunning old man

if he can get you hooked,he,ll be back

that,s his plan

then after a while when your hands start to shake

and can,t be still

he,ll tell you,"have some more

till you get your fill"

then pretty soon your belly

will start to swell

that,s a good indication that all is not well

then the liver turns to rubber

and loses that dark hue

looks more like an old worn out shoe

there is no cure for cirrhosis of the liver

the only solution is to get a transplant

but that,s hard to do too

cause there only a few who will deliver

i really don,t mean to spoil your fun and relaxation

but the truth prevails, it,s a real sad stipulation

that alcohol kills more people than the dreaded

winter flu

and if you continue to drink day-after-day

old jack will surely come and get you too.


Kaie Arwen profile image

Kaie Arwen 6 years ago

If there was anyone around to watch................ I think they weren't looking at the fireworks! I can only imagine................ and laugh! Glad you made it :-) Kaie


SilverGenes 6 years ago

That's quite an exciting fourth you had! Good thing all was well in the end - your description was very funny!!


Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

Oh oh, MFB; I laughed and am still laughing out loud reading this one. You all really did yourselves in there. Glad to read no one was hurt, that was a miracle. My fourth was very quiet. gosh, I am still laughing and grinning. that was so funny and stupid too .. LOL but I am sure you all were trying to be safe. :D thanks for sharing this one it is cruelly grand. :D ~aloha~


notquitecorso profile image

notquitecorso 6 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Funny and wonderful read..."who leaped and danced like a toothpick in heat" just a lovely image...I had a clear picture of your debauchery throughout the piece...Truly embodies what the fourth is about...good times with good old people.


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

Funny stuff reminds me of that song I drink Alone just me and Jack and Jimmy B ..... Glad you got out with your fingers intact.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Nice, nice, nice! I haven't enjoyed fireworks since I was a kid. I don't go to see displays. I think of the anti-aircraft guns that were very visible from Con Thien. I'm not heavy here. I just think of fireworks in that sense and I think I'm "full". Always Exploring has a great poem up there! Maybe I can squeeze a small one off.

Let 'er fly!

On the Fourth of July!

We're mostly all high,

With a piece of the pie!

We do or we die!

Let our patriotism fly,

For right, justice, and freedom,

Beyond this earth and sky!

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