Life Is It Worth It? I Wish People Would Leave Me Alone!

Life is a struggle it seems that I will never get ahead. The harder I try the further back I go. You are asking "Do you have bad habits that are complicating your life?" The answer is no, no drugs or drinking. Just the way things work out I can never get ahead.

I do not have a home. I do not have a real job though I do find enough work to make sure I eat. I sleep in someone else's home and are living at their whim. I have some clothes. i own a guitar but I do not play well enough to get paid.

I do not have a car I have liens on my license to such a degree I will never be able to cover the debt. So driving a car is one responsibility I do not have to worry about.

I do not have health insurance, I live with constant pain in my teeth and gums. this stresses me out constantly. Due to the pain I have a short fuse and become easily annoyed.

 I know it just seems that I am looking to rant and get pity.  I do not wish that at all.  I accept my situation and deal with it day to day.  I enjoy the life I have and make the most out of every day I am given.  I do wonder sometimes is it worth it?

Do I believe in a god?  I dunno does god believe in me?  What about you does god make you feel better as you sweat to earn enough money for a cheeseburger? 

I see life all around me which is amazing and exciting yet inside I feel dark and pathetic.   Is it just me? 

I watch TV and see a constant display of products I have no need of nor a desire for yet the images bombard my psyche.   I surf the Internet to a cacophony of advertising entities.  Trying to sell every imaginable item that any person could possibly want to own.

I try to be a good person. I actually try to be a positive influence with every person I meet. I treat everyone with respect. Yet still it seems that people will walk all over a person they think is kind. The error is mistaking kindness for weakness. I am not weak by any means. I am more than able to defend myself physically and verbally. I hate the drama of conflict and just wish people would leave me alone.

I have been totally disenfranchised with society as a whole.  I find people selfish and cruel.  Not to your face when you are speaking to the mask they wear but behind your back and in their soul. 

Nothing goes as planned. Try as hard as you like something will disrupt your plans. Obstacles appear as if out of nowhere. Although attempting to retain a positive attitude strengthens your resolve to overcome these obstacles, it still seems to be a battle that cannot be won.

Goals although a positive way to keep track of your progress also creates depression when the goals are not achieved. The only way to live peacefully is to make the most of each day!

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Comments 8 comments

surviver7 profile image

surviver7 6 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Hi there,

I just joined hubbing in order to write...well read and get comments on my writing. Strangely enough I understand your dilema...and I totally agree....Being kind is a strength not a weakness and yes people do take advantage.... I have lost a lot over my life and do suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. The only way I see forward is to make a life for yourself outside the realms of other people...when you truly respect yourself and refuse to be around negative people or at least keep them at bay...i.e. anyone who makes you feel worse rather than better. Honestly I understand what your saying..and you do sound depressed which I know about. Don't let anyone tare you down, success in my books is becoming more and more at peace with yourself and refusing to become something your not..... find out what makes you tick, what you enjoy, what people you enjoy being around....life isn't a fairy tale its a constant learning curve and can be demanding and tiring, but if you have a goal in mind or in heart chip away at that. Anyway sorry for all the blurb...take care.:)


truster profile image

truster 6 years ago from A Bed of Roses

I find people cruel and selfish as well. LOL!


kimberlyslyrics 6 years ago

speechless, truly

beautiful writing style

a fan

Kimberly


truster profile image

truster 6 years ago from A Bed of Roses

'Life is a struggle it seems that I will never get ahead. The harder I try the further back I go'

Take care! The further back you go,the faster you will fall.


Reality Bytes profile image

Reality Bytes 6 years ago from Freeman On The Land United States of America. Author

truster I try me best every single day. I look forward to starting each day. A day without drama is a good day for me. I would fight until I no longer had the capicity to further the struggle.


poetlorraine 6 years ago

i wish you everything you would possibly wish for yourself, keep hubbing, keep writing,, keep moving forward.


Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 6 years ago from trailer in the country

Reality, I notice your articles about the "secrets" that most people don't talk about...the conspiracy things...I have spent years reading about that stuff...sometimes it really is hard to have a good outlook on life because you see the evil powers in control...and how can we stand against it. I understand your anger and depression...please check out some of my articles...cause I write on some of this same stuff...


Blackisalwaysbeut4 6 years ago

(1) Imagine for yourself a character, a model personality, whose example you determine to follow, in private as well as in public.

(2) Is freedom anything else than the right to live as we wish? Nothing else.

(3) We are not to give credit to the many, who say that none ought to be educated but the free; but rather to the philosophers, who say that the well-educated alone are free.

Last but not nearly the least; (4)To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse one’s self shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

From one of my favorite Greek Philosophers Epictetus who was enslaved for many and many years under Constantine and Caesar political dogma on the inhabitants during that era. Bless!

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