Life Pauses Dramatically


The paramedics pronounced her dead at 8:15PM as Captain Frank Roque pulled up on Ella Grasso Blvd ten minutes later. He was satisfied that the lead detective had the crime scene under control, as the uniforms were keeping the people out of the hallways, and away from the apartment.

The bedroom was the only room that was largely intact. Only a glass-top night stand had been ransacked, its two drawers flung across the room and a hand full of socks and underwear were dumped on the floor. In one corner of that room, a bean bag chair had been split and all the beans were strewn across the floor, other then that, there was nothing disturbed.

The Detective Nathan Chambers explained to the captain that the victim was probably lying on her back in bed, being held down by an accomplice, when the rape began. The rapist had struck her from directly above, and then with his violent wayward thrusts he damaged the wall with the flimsy headboard. He had made it very clear to the captain that the rape was brutal.

Either from the force of the rape or from her own efforts to escape the woman rolled off the side of the bed and onto the floor. There was a small amount of blood splatter on the lower side of the box spring. She was stabbed on her left thigh, twice, but what killed her was the pillow to the face. Then she was dragged into the ransacked kitchen and probably raped again by the other man. She was left half undressed in an odd position.

The lead medical examiner lifted the bed sheet carefully off the mattress and folded it slowly so as to keep any loose hairs or fibers intact.

Two hours later. Her family members showed up waling in grief, listening to neighbors telling them in raw detail what had happened. The captain knew that there was always one member of the family who had to remain calm, for the sake of the others. He looked around and saw that person. She was the woman’s only daughter leaning against the ambulance smoking a cigarette. She was a boyish looking female not yet sixteen. She had the look of dread on her face, but she was the calmest.

“Hey,” the captain called while motioning for her to follow him behind the back side of the ambulance.

She followed.

The captain started the conversation by asking the young girl about her mother’s vices, habits and boyfriends. He had explained to the young girl that the apartment had no signs of force entry and that her mother may have known the attackers. While asking the questions, the captain touched the young girl’s elbow lightly, as if to emphasize that he was truly sorry for what has happened, but he needed the conversation to happen so he could get a better handle of the case. The young girl took two more drags from the cigarette and tossed it away from the ambulance. She looked at the captain and nodded.

“Your mother didn’t sell drugs, or anything, right?”

“No.”

“They were looking for something,” said the captain. “They found it and that’s when they took her into the bedroom…”

The young girl did not reply.

“Was she loose, you know, many male friends?”

The young girl had an empty gaze as she looked away from the captain as though she was lost for a moment in thought.

The captain did not disturb her.

The young girl broke the silence. “You know, life pauses dramatically.”

The captain looked confused.

The young girl lowered her voice to a whisper. “My mother was raped before and she contracted the HIV virus that causes AIDS. She was always at the pharmacy getting her prescriptions filled. I think the assholes that raped her thought they were getting pain medicine, but that wasn’t the case.”

“HIV medication?”

“Yeah, they must have been stoned or out of it.”

“Why do you say that?”

“We live here in this bad section,” she started. “A few guys tried raping her once, but she told him that she had HIV, and they left her alone.”

The captain nodded.

“She would have warned those guys,” said the young girl. “And she never locked the door until I got home, sometimes she couldn’t get out of bed because of her condition.”

Seconds later, a dozen or more of her relatives, including her mother moved quickly into the apartment, creating instant pandemonium. The captain decided that he’d better help Nathan Chambers sort the mess out.

“Ironic, isn’t it,” she called out.

The captain turned around slowly, “life does pause dramatically.”







#

© 2013 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 41 comments

Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 3 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Karma has a comical way of getting revenge sometimes. Very enjoyable story, even if a serious situation.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you my loyal friend :) bless you Becky Katz


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Sometime what comes around goes around!...A sad story with a distinct sting in tail.

You're certainly perfecting your art. Nice work.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much tobusiness bless you


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Very graphic write here, dearest Frank, with a surprise for the attackers!

Very cleverly written. I have faith in you to write it where the bad guys will get it in the end one way or the other!

Voted up ++ and sharing

God bless, Faith Reaper


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Im sorry my sweet faith I was trying to be less graphic.. as to not offend.. forgive me will ya!!!!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

hahaha Well the act in and of itself is very graphic indeed, so one would just about have to write graphically! I did say I was glad you had written it where the bad guys got their surprise after all : )

Hugs, Faith Reaper


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

yeah you did .. I trust the faith you have in me :)


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

I wish all rapist would end up with HIV, they deserve that...at least.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

wow you're dramatic LOL thanks for stopping by :)


wayne barrett profile image

wayne barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

Wow, what a writer! Very dramatic, Frank. You had me hooked on this one.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you wayne barrett


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean

Disease, death, revenge. No winners, all losers. “Life does pause dramatically.” You always handle your plot exceptionally well.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you MsDora :)


Sueswan 3 years ago

Hi Frank

This is one time the punishment(HIV -Aids) fits the crime.

Voted up and awesome

Have a good week.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

WOW This was one gripping story. Got the shivers at the end. What a pause for the two sick rapists.


Valleypoet 3 years ago

Your stories evoke so many emotions in so few words....that takes skill...good job my friend:-))


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Sueswan, Gypsy and welcome back from Vacation hope you had a hell of a good time Valleypoet


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

Another great story, Frank. You really get the reader in with your style of urgency - and then that brilliant ending. Voted up.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Blossoms :)


btrbell profile image

btrbell 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

I definitely believe in karma! Thank you!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for stopping by Btrbell :)


B. A. Williams profile image

B. A. Williams 3 years ago from USA

Well this is your forte, I can see you writing murder mysteries or suspense scripts for TV series. I will be following you as time goes on, this was exceptional.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Another awesome title to die for Sir Frank , in the hand of Epi this genre would be labeled pulp fiction, in your hands Frank it's called art.

And once again you are one of my all time favorite writers anytime anywhere anyplace and I will post and link your latest masterwork on my FB page for all to see and read.

Peace be with you

lake erie time canada 11;39am


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you BA Williams and Sir Epi for stopping by and visiting my pauses...:)


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

There is Divine Justice in this world as you so aptly point out in this chiller. Those who live by the sword die by the sword, and all the other quotes I can think of are running through my head after reading this.

Voted up, awesome, and interesting.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you til for taking in this pause :) bless you


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

Frank, you just keep getting better ad better--I am waiting for a novel--


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Audrey you're just being too Kind :)


Marlin 55 profile image

Marlin 55 3 years ago from USA

Great writing with an interesting twist. I'd have to say Karma on this one.


justateacher profile image

justateacher 3 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

Love that these two "men" will not get away with their crime like so many others do...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for stopping by Marlin55 and Justateacher bless you both :)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

Frank,

I feel sad for the girl who witnessed rape, HIV and then murder of her mother. By anyways, your short is enjoyable.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Vin


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Your crime story is very detailed & well-written. voted++


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Love doc


Vincent Moore 3 years ago

This was a gripping tale my creative writer friend. I was hanging on every word, wow talk about revenge, Karma kicks you in the ass sometimes as it surely did those rapists. Yet losing a life is sad enough, the seedy side of life hangs by a thread at times, they never know when, where or by who they are going to lose their lives too. I work in it every night shift I'm on, its a sad life indeed. Well written my scribe, bravo, voted up and shared.


Rusticliving profile image

Rusticliving 3 years ago from California

Absolutely loved it. I tried to read it slowly taking in every word but found myself reading it faster to see what was going to be said next. Ironic!

Very well done. UP/I/A and shared.---Lisa♥


ohic32 profile image

ohic32 3 years ago

Short and sweet. Karma at its best. I love this piece.


Daughter Of Maat profile image

Daughter Of Maat 3 years ago from Rural Central Florida

You are a brilliant writer. I usually shy away from these types of novels/writings, but I read the summary on the feed and saw your name and had to click. I was not disappointed, a little depressed maybe, but definitely not disappointed!! :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much for stopping by my page Daughter of Maat, Ohic32, Vincent Moore and Rusticliving.. bless you guys :)

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