Little Known Facts About the Tower of Babel

The Tower of Babel could have been built, the completion of it allowed, if only they had built the Water Fountain of Babel first.

According to records, there was an 8 month waiting list to be married on the observation deck which was aggravated by unplanned parties put on by tower management.

Next to the place where the Tower of Babel was felled is the Doghouse of Babel. It's a big doghouse. And if you make your way into it, you can understand everything that your dog says, but it’s a really disappointing trip because you find your dog doesn’t have a whole lot to say.

With a new translation they found out why the Tower of Babel really fell. They weren't building it with stones, but scones

What was far worse than the lack of communication resulting from the fall of the Tower of Babel was the horrendous loss of business for the Hotdog Stand of Babel which struggled along for a few years before it went out of business. Hotdogs were not discovered again until hundreds of years later.

Many scholars believe that the first twenty floors of office space were actually occupied before the great collapse.

Future human sacrifices for the temple on the seventh floor would occasionally escape and try to hide out in the department stores. One enterprising young man even became a store buyer, and was able to buy his way out of the sacrifice. One fellow pretended to be St. Enkidu and starting taking toy lists from children. He was caught when shoppers realized that Gilgamesh Day was still seven months away.

Most of the priests of the temple on the 14^th floor were devout in their duties, but according to one letter discovered in ancient Myopia, there was a certain priest nicknamed, as best as we can translate, "Stinky", who would try to pick up women on the 23rd floor food court. He was mostly unsuccessful according to the ancient scrolls, not just because of implied personality flaws, but because the temple was a terrifying place at night even for the clerics whose quarters were on that floor and only the wildest, thrill seeking young woman could be persuaded to go there. Of course, that type of woman would never go anywhere with Stinky.

A popular prank in the Tower of Babel was to send young workers to the top of the tower to find the swimming pool.

Some scholars believe the tower did not fall but rather gradually crumbled from neglect after its major tenants left when the Mall of Babel was built on the outskirts of town.

The 15^th floor was closed for a week when someone left a box of ostrich eggs in a storage closet.

The Tower of Babel cart wash was closed after it panicked the oxen one too many times and they took the short cut down.

The official opening of the tower had to be delayed for a week after the sacrificial virgin was found deflowering herself with a brick layer.

The Babylonian Book of Love was thought to rival the Kama Sutra but was lost in the Alexandria bonfire. For many years what archaelogists thought was the first chapter was kept locked up in the BritishMuseum, until scholars retranslated and discovered it was a separate book called “How to Pick up Women”.

For a while, volunteers were allowed to drive the dung carts back to the ground level. This practice ended when it was discovered the volunteers were emptying the carts prematurely on the carts coming up the building.

Nimrod was purported to have ordered the building of the Tower, but if you reverse Nimrod, you get dormin, which sounds like doorman. So obviously, Nimrod was actually one of the doormen at the tower.

It’s always surprising how one can find new things upon cleaning an artwork. What was first thought to be a depiction of runners in florid costumes in a foot race, upon cleaning, was found to be a drawing mocking the Tower Cops.

One small cell was excavated intact and is believed to be the modest home of a philosopher based on the fragment of poetry on the wall saying “Some come here to sit and think”.