Look Inside My Heart

Won't somebody please look inside my heart

Look inside and tell me what you see

I wonder what treasure might be there to find

Or maybe wretched filth instead

Perhaps even both

I've got a heart that's soft and tender

One that's been battered, bruised, and beaten

And, still, it cannot find the will to hate

It loves regardless of the consequences

It does not understand why when that is not returned

So it builds up its defenses

So that the world cannot see the pain and vulnerability

It lets my head spit out seemingly spiteful words

Because tears alone make me just seem weak

They make me seem like a needy child

Hungry only for affection

Rather than that, I sound more like a bitch

Who will be called neither weak nor whiny

No one cares about the tears anyway

But if someday someone sees

What really lies beneath all of my defenses

Will he think he's found a treasure

Or leave yet another scar

Way down deep inside my heart

When the bitchy side of me shows through?


9-18-2002

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Comments 18 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

If you find a guy who truly does look deep inside your heart, hold onto him. :) Beautiful, emotional work here.


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Wonderful job, we all have both sides inside us, you paint that truth very well.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, billybuc.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, Eric. It's an unfortunate truth that screws up more than romantic relationships. If friendships didn't have other lasting, beautiful elements, I would be so tempted to tell those that seek to get close to me or that allow me close to them not to get too close. It may or may not be worth really knowing me, flaws and all.


Ryem profile image

Ryem 2 years ago from Maryland

These are emotions that many people ache to share with another. Beautiful poem.


wordswithlove profile image

wordswithlove 2 years ago from Pennsylvania, USA

shanmarie, this is a very emotive and powerful poem. I can look inside that heart and see it all.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

We all have those bitchy days, thank God they don't last. Someday your prince will come riding on a white steed and wisk you away to the love adventure awaiting just around the other side of unhappyville..Yea!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 2 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Your poetry is open, honest and shows you are vulnerable to the tides of your emotions.


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 2 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

You have a heart that's big and beautiful. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly with us, dear shanmarie.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks,Ryem. Definitely not the sort of thing one normally.does shate, though.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Hi, wordswithlove. Thanks so much for coming by.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

You are so sweet, Ruby! Thank God indeed that they don't last.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, mckbirdbks. I suppose that we are all somewhat vulnerable to our emotions sometimes. :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you so much, Maria. This particular poem is an old one, but I still feel like that from time to time, wishing sometimes certain people never saw the worst in me. Not for caring what others think, but more because I hate to hurt others or cause pain, etc.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

You need a guy who will love you no matter what.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Yes, we all need relationships of any kind like that.


mothersofnations profile image

mothersofnations 2 years ago

Definitely another one I've been able to relate to. So very raw, real and beautiful... God bless you...


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Sigh...This was written so long ago. It saddens me so many relate to it.

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