He abused me in front of the children
The Cycle Ends Here
I probably shouldn't even publish this hub. My husband, who I am legally separated from but living with, will probably snoop into my computer somehow and read this. He's done it before. I'm getting tired. I don't care anymore. But then again, I HAVE to care because he has ensured over our 12 years of marriage, that I care ONLY about him and what HE wants.
And let's get one thing straight right off the bat......I do NOT expect pity out of this hub. What I'm really aiming for is to get this off of my chest and make 100% sure that I am moving in the right direction. Maybe those of you that have been in this situation can give some helpful advice. Even just a positive word helps tremendously. When you have NO source of optimism in your life, it's a long, lonely, dark road.....
The Evolution of Courage
In the beginning, your charm shone through
You were a sweet and helpful soul
I was hesitant to love anyone at all
But decided to play the role
Soon after the first date
Your true colors started to show
You loved yourself and no one else
Over time, my weaknesses would grow
But I believed you when you told me
That you were just having a little fun
I second-guessed myself again
Girl, it's only just begun
You said all the right things to me
What you wanted out of life
I couldn't believe the similarities
So I offered to be your wife
Little did I know back then
My happiness would end
The minute we left our own wedding
The mental torture began
Pregnant with our first child
You put your hands on me
I'll never forget how I felt just then
Drowning in sadness, so deep
You told me that it was my fault
I shouldn't have made you mad
But you were very sorry
And said, "It won't happen again".
Too bad I believed you
Our poor children heard it all
Every name that you called me
Every fist against the wall
I leave you, then I come back
Thinking I'm the one at fault
And that I am a horrible mother
And I should act "More like an adult"
You apologize and promise me
You're only hurtful to motivate
You say that nothing else works
When you're trying to get me to see your way
You lie to your children
You don't care at all
When I tell you that "it's over"
On deaf ears my words fall
To abuse and to control
Are you happy we all walk on eggshells
Not living a life, playing a role
Hypocracy at its finest
You are now counting on me
But what you do not realize
Is that I am starting to see
The page is getting clearer
Widening my view
I'm slowly gaining self-esteem
To part myself from you
No more apologies
No need to waste more time
Your children and I want to be happy
Not walking your thin line
BY, Jamie (MissJamieD)
- Early Warning Signs He's an Abuser
Way back when, I had a little thing I’d do on first dates to feel out the guy and learn a little bit about him. We’d go to dinner and I would not pick up the menu. I would ask him to order for me. ...
More by this Author
What type of beard, mustache, goatee are you wearing? Here's what's sexy....
Ever had an experience with ghosts or other supernatural entities? I've had several interesting experiences with ghosts and I've written about some of them here. Please come and share your stories with me too!
Fashion from the 1980's has made its inevitable return to our closets. Fluorescent, big belts, big earrings, big hair, denim jackets, peace signs, leg warmers, ruffles, color coordination and crazy patterns are some of...