Love Vs. Arranged Marriage

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Love or arranged marriage is still a debatable topic in countries like India. Love marriages have become common in almost all the societies of India, but they are still considered inferior to the weddings arranged by the parents. Just a comparison on this never-ending debate.

Eyes speak first in love marriage.

Parents speak first in arranged marriage.

Bio-data gets exchanged in arranged marriage.

Biological data gets exchanged in love marriage.

In love marriage, hearts first think and then the head comes into picture.

In arranged marriage, head first thinks and the heart obeys.

Relations get together to put you in a relation.

Relations get out together when you are in a relation.

You get a license to make phone calls with your love when you get engaged.

You lose your license to make any calls when your parents find that your phone is always engaged.

You fix a meeting point and time to express your love.

In arranged marriage, it takes time to fix a meeting point in your love.

Money is not a matter when you are in love.

Money matters, because they arrange marriage.

You play hide and seek with others when you are in love.

In arranged marriage, most of the time you have to hide your match(stick) to seek your match.

You register and get others approval in love marriage.

Others approve and then you register your marriage when it is arranged.

Understanding each other matters the most in love.

Coming to an understanding is what matters in arranged marriage.

In love marriage, “I love u” gives the meaning there is no I without U.

In arranged marriage, the same suggests that there is no U without I (me).

In love marriage, love blossoms first and status decides marriage.

In arranged marriage, status decides first and love blossoms later.

In arranged marriage, families mingle.

In love marriage (if not accepted), family is single.

“Love is blind” is the statement you hear from others in love marriage.

In arranged marriage, they say that you are made for each other.

In love marriage, there is a chance of return policy.

In arranged marriage, products once sold cannot be taken back.

There is so much argument about love and arranged marriage. But only thing that is common about both is the argument after marriage. Arguments are always not harmful. Arguments when healthy, makes the relationship healthy. All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. How well you manage is what matters!!

Marriage, love or arranged, is a beautiful concept.

Marriage teaches you commitment.

Marriage teaches you how to compromise.

Marriage teaches you how to apologize.

Marriage teaches you the patience.

Marriage teaches you to speak and understand the most difficult language in this world – SILENCE.

You succeed when you enjoy the silence in your marriage. Hope this saying would help in making you enjoy your silence – “In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.” No idea about the thought that marriages are made in heaven, but can surely assure that it’s in our hands to make the married life heavenly!

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Comments 31 comments

asmaiftikhar profile image

asmaiftikhar 5 years ago from Pakistan

voted up dear! that is really a hub of lessons especially the lesson is worth praising.keep it up!


Uma 5 years ago

Sankari Kalakura...good.. keep on posting...


Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

It's funny cause my husband and I have been married for over 30 years in a Love Marriage, and yet we are still learning to get to know and love each other. It takes work and committment either way. I like to think that God arranged our marriage, so in a way it is also an arranged marriage.


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 5 years ago Author

Thanks for continuously supporting me asmaiftikhar!


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 5 years ago Author

Yes Enlydia, getting to know and love each other is a continuous process. I believe that love or arranged marriage God plays His part in it.


K9keystrokes profile image

K9keystrokes 5 years ago from Northern, California

What a wonderful subject to take on. Love comes in so many surprising packages it would be a shame to miss any of them.

Cheers~

K9


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 5 years ago Author

Thanks K9! Love and marriage is an evergreen subject! Though many miss marriage, nobody can miss Love, I believe!!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

have had an arranged marriage 31 years ago and continue to be madly in love with the same woman since then.if you meet at the bus stand and get tremendously attracted and then build up it is a love marriage and very very romantic, but if you meet first time with the knowledge and approval of your families and feel very very attracted to that person and build on it then it is an arranged marriage and hence boring.

these are the conventional stereotypes which do not at all matter because how you met and how and where you got attracted is irrelevant- what matters is what you built on the initial attractiveness and therefore you cannot fall in love you can grow in love.

I should know- I have.


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 5 years ago Author

Thanks Neelesh!Yours words are absolutely correct - where we meet doesn't matter, how we grow in love, matters. Wish you many more years of a lovely love life!


Ruchi Urvashi profile image

Ruchi Urvashi 5 years ago from Singapore

Good article. It tells good differences between arranged and love marriages. I enjoyed reading it.


mathira profile image

mathira 5 years ago from chennai

Arranged or love marriage, it is always love which bind the couple and when there is only love it becomes easy to live in compatibility till death part them.Good one Shankari.


rambansal profile image

rambansal 5 years ago from India

very educative comparison of love and arranged marriage.


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 5 years ago from Idaho

When I was single I sometimes thought an arranged marriage would have been easier. Thank you for sharing your insight with this curious reader.


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 5 years ago Author

Thanks all for your valuable comments!


Jyoti Patil profile image

Jyoti Patil 4 years ago from Mumbai

Its such a beautiful hub. and its so true!


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

I love hub pages because we get to learn about so many different cultures all over the world. We have so much we can all teach eachother. I feel honored to have a glimpse into your world and your culture. Thank you for sharing that. There is so much I take for granted in my own life. Great hub, writing.. I look forward to more!


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 4 years ago Author

Thanks Jyoti!

Thanks tammyswallow! Very true that we get to know about different cultures here! Different thoughts and perspective from different kind of people will make us think in a different way!

Thanks for a sweet comment!


lucybell21 profile image

lucybell21 4 years ago from Troy, N.Y.

Humm.. I think anything could be possible. Couples that are supposed to be in love, fall out of love and divorce. Who knows anymore what is right. Maybe with an arrangement both parties could end up falling in love. We just never know anymore.


radhikasree profile image

radhikasree 4 years ago from Mumbai,India

There is a lot of humor in your comparison of love vs arranged marriage. I liked it very much. Votes up!!


ishwaryaa22 profile image

ishwaryaa22 4 years ago from Chennai, India

You nailed this topic very well! I enjoyed reading this hub of yours. Rated it awesome, beautiful and interesting. Vote up.


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 4 years ago Author

You are very true lucybell21. We don't know what might happen tomorrow. The one thing that is in agreement with both the marriages is that there is always some kind of disagreement in marriage.


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 4 years ago Author

Thanks radhikasree and ishwarya22 for your positive comments!


Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

Pamela Kinnaird W 4 years ago from Maui and Arizona

That's a wonderful saying you shared with us at the end. The whole concept of arranged marriage is so interesting to read about like this -- in a hub and with a positive perspective. I feel a wee bit enlightened now. Thanks. Voting up and beautiful.


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

This is a great comparison of arranged marriage and love marriage. I especially like the end as well.


rambansal profile image

rambansal 4 years ago from India

Arranged marriages work better than love marriages, but the extravaganza at Indian marriages is a huge burden on poor families -

http://hubpages.com/relationships/Extravaganza-at-...


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 4 years ago Author

Thanks Pamela for your positive comments!


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 4 years ago Author

Thanks a Million(aire)!


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 4 years ago Author

Thanks Rambansal for passing by and my vote is also for arranged marriage but not an extravagant one, but a real simple marriage


Sunita-Sharma profile image

Sunita-Sharma 4 years ago from Los Angeles,California,US

Interesting hub...enjoyed reading it!All the quotes very well arranged!


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 4 years ago Author

Thanks Sunita for your great comments!


Mimi 4 years ago

I'm experiencing a bit of both actually - it is arranged because the parents spoke first to exchange details but before anything else, the prospective groom has taken over and wants to get to know me first ... it's really quite exciting and really feels like a 50% arranged and 50% love .. well, at least I think I'm falling for him! I think for a marriage to work, both the husband and wife just need to be honest and open with each other. If you expect a fairytale husband, then you have to be a fairytale wife; and no false pretences.

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