Love and Empowerment to a Lost Generation

We once were children we would have never excepted to go through the hardships we have gone through. Look at your childhood photos you will always see a smile. A shy innocents and love for the world. This was because you believed in a world of good, happiness, love, and trust. Then you were tested. Your gifts were tested to see just hoe much you could take and just how strong you were. You were molested or raped, taken advantage of or fun of, had your heart stomped on or lost someone you loved with your whole heart. You felt like you couldn't trust anyone. So you shut down being emotionally involved, shut down trust, shut down hope, faith, you became a victim. You didn't let anyone in anymore or maybe you didn't listen or maybe you just became paranoid. No matter what we all stopped being able to trust. Then we found ways out..unhealthy ways to cope with these issues. We used sex with anyone, drugs, alcohol, we started lashing out with our anger or we let it build up. Then we took it out on each other. Said that we'd that "nobody would ever understand." Then came the contemplation of suicide. Some of us even already tried but failed because it was not apart of the plan. Even worse you thought you were the only one. The only person that felt this way. Or at least it seemed like it. You would go home and lay on your bed, couch, whatever and you would cry or wonder why your life was like this.

Like many will ask "Where were you when 9/11 hit. I ask you "Where were you when you got the message?"

I was laying on the couch crying my eyes out. The LOVE of my life ignored me and neglected me after I trekked out in the cold MinneSNOWta whether to get my ticket to go with him to AZ. This was where I washed another man I loved turn and become someone else. He left.. I was far from my sisters, my mom, and Olivia Soul was no longer a big part of my life. For some reason as i contemplated suicide god did not want me to leave. He was trying to tell me that it was not my time to go yet. He gave me a group of eight. A group of fucked up people who have so many hidden sorrows and he said LOVE them through it all. Always love them with your whole heart as a true leader. And I basically said "fuck you god" I let these people down when ever I could. I ditched their phone calls to let guys get me drunk and stopped caring on and off. I had many panic attacks..So many that i couldn't truly be there for there to love these people the way they needed. The way the deserved. No matter what they explained I would soon selfishly for get and have problems with the sweetest of them all. But I wasn't the only one who did wrong. Hannah Spirit kept her self distant from the love of the group. Not asking for help and having to much pride. Drew Mind called it bullshit whenever she whenever she felt the need. Nick Lung just couldn't let himself completely open up. He let his past dictate his present. CJ Heart loved with his heart but sometimes forgot that there is no I in team. Jay Mind went into hiding from everyone all he could trust was "Me,myself, and I" Olivia Soul tried but often saw the others melt down. Chels Lung tried so hard to even though her thoughts trailed to an old lover. Amy Spirit slowly start to shut down emotionally, feeling unheard and misused she slowly started to leave. And they all lost the true meaning of teamwork. Trust, evaluation, acheieving, motivation, work, organization, relaxation, kindness, plus love and friendship. The world of turned slowly started to drown them and none of them could put down their anger and pride and just ask for help so a world of peace and bliss could be obtained. So they could bring happiness to eachother when everything seemed wrong, they were supposed to make sure they were always their for eachother. Whenever, wherever. I say this in past tense but what ths 90's generation group of heroes nees to see is its never to late. it's never to late to heal. And even since you were young the turned have been out for you. It's because they knew. They felt your heart, mind, spirit, soul, and lungs. They felt your strong bond and jumped in between. This is the chance to make it right. To strength all elimantes and get together. This is bigger then all of you and you can all make a difference. Take this as a metaphor or take it as something much more then that. But know this world needs you. The whole world. And you need eachother. Love always.

-B Heart.