At 9:00 am on October 12,2010, a tome slammed shut. The final chapter had been written and there was nothing more to be added. This masterpiece was complete. The content now seen only through a veil is no longer bold and clear, only muted reminiscences. There is only what was, a book that can not be rid of the dust that settles on it's pages. My desire is to hold tight to this closed book written in years gone by, your masterpiece, containing chapters written of our life’s chronicle.
There would only be a sequel to continue the saga of our intertwined lives. The sequel, another volume still not complete remains open and continues to turn the pages of opportunity page by page. The amount of blank pages is unknown to all. Writing in the remaining volumes can not be avoided. It will happen, there is no preventing the turning of each page. While my book of opportunity continues to open one page at a time the book written by the past opens as if blown by the wind, the filled pages turn rapidly, and the pages offer only glimpses of their content before flipping on and on.
I cannot avoid writing in this volume, the pages turn without my control. With what can I fill them? I can not fill them with my desires. All my desires were written in the past. You were my desire.
I can fill them with the joy my desires brought.
I wished for love and I found you.
I wished our love would never die and we were blessed with children.
I wished for understanding and I found you. I wanted just one person to understand my hurts and fears. I was blessed with your compassion.
I wished for passion and I found you. The first man to love me, really love me and the first man to whom I would surrender.
I wished for tenderness and I found you. I reveled in your tender touches, your kisses and your tender gazes.
I wanted devotion and I found you. Your devotion created meaning and purpose for me.
I wanted enjoyment and I found you. I found complete enjoyment in your leading, holding me tight and spinning me around as we danced to the music we created in our life together.
I desired romance and I found you. Petals of a yellow rose surrounded us as you plucked each with every tender kiss the night we surrendered to all our desires. From then on, you would only give me red roses symbolic of your true strong love.
I needed patience and I found it in you. You waited.
I desired security and I found it in you. Your embraces were my sanctuary.
All these things you gave me fill me with joy. The pages of this open book will be stained with tears as I recall the memories written in the past. Written over the stains I hope will remain the visions of love; understanding; passion; tenderness; devotion; enjoyment; romance; patience and loves sanctuary.
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