Lynn's Story: Suspense

Woman reading a letter
Woman reading a letter | Source

Dearest Lynn,

I don’t know how else to tell you this so I will just come straight out and say it. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I found someone else. She makes my pulse race and my knees weak. I still love you – I always will. I value our friendship more than you could ever know. I will keep in touch.

Stanley


Lynn couldn’t believe her eyes. Was this seriously a breakup letter from a man she wasn’t ever really with?! Okay, the honesty was admirable however unnecessary. Lynn scooped up the letter and started folding it into an origami crane. She figured she may as well make good use of the paper. Green living appeared be a trend that wasn’t going away soon. Paper crane in one hand and socks in the other, Lynn headed to the bathroom to get ready for work. While she primped and preened in front of the mirror she thought more and more about Stanley. At first she was angry – how dare Stan assume she even cared enough to need an explanation? And it was a lame explanation at that. Lynn deserved so much more. But did she really? At that moment Lynn realized she really truly didn’t care. Of course her ego was a smidge bruised but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t get beyond. She hadn’t really invested much into the “relationship” and she definitely hadn’t expected anything to come from it.


Lynn blotted her lipstick and grabbed her handbag on the way out the apartment door. As she was walking to her car Lynn realized she was still carrying Stan’s paper crane. She smiled a little and said out loud to the crane “well I suppose the least I can do is take you to work with me and send you through the shredder. Would you like that?” This only made Lynn smile more as she realized how crazy she must sound. It had become habit lately to talk to her self and find amusement in the little things. Lynn climbed into her Nissan, pulled the car door shut, tossed the paper crane onto the seat beside her, and jammed the key into the ignition. As Lynn drove to work she made a mental grocery list –bread, soda, cat food…


“You are so calm”



Paper Crane
Paper Crane | Source

What the hell was that? Lynn slammed on her breaks, pulled the Nissan to the side of the road and looked in the backseat. Nobody was there, so who had said those words?

“You showed him its easy come, easy go”


Lynn couldn’t believe it. She had finally lost her last bit of sense. Lynn caught movement to her side and noticed the paper crane was slowly turning on the passenger seat to face her. Its lavender wings lifted up into a pointy pose and the creases deepened to make the once beautiful creation look sharp. Lynn was scared but she put her hand on the seat in front of the crane so it could climb on.

“Stanley?” she asked it. The voice came again “Yes” it hissed in a whisper. Lynn couldn’t believe she was talking to the crane when she said “What about Stanley? It’s not a big deal. I didn’t love him. Of course it was easy come, easy go.” At those words the paper crane lifted up into the air and circled Lynn’s head bellowing “No, but he left you – like all the others! He took you for granted and he left you. He had to be punished. He needed to know it isn’t so easy. You showed him Lynn, you showed him!”

Lynn didn’t like the direction this conversation was taking. She’d gone from talking to herself to talking to a paper crane that was feeding her homicidal bullshit. ‘Poor Stanley’, Lynn repeated over and over again in her head. Yet she didn’t understand those words because Stanley was as far from a pity as anyone she’d ever met. Stanley, her sweet Stanley was in bed at the apartment sleeping soun – oh dear God. It all flooded back to Lynn.



The fight
The fight | Source

Lynn had caught Stanley leaving the letter on the dining room table this morning. He had stood silently while she read it - she wouldn’t move away from the apartment door to let him leave. They had fought and she had cried. Her heart was broken, her life over with each word she had read. How else did he expect her to react? Of course she was defeated – she’d given so much of her life and time to Stanley. He knew she would freak, that’s why he had been trying to sneak out in the wee hours of the morning. She had known then and there that she couldn’t let Stan go. He had made her promises and she intended to make him keep those promises.


Lynn pushed the gas pedal of the Nissan to the floor and sped back to the apartment. Oh Stanley oh Stanley oh Stanley. Please let the memories be bad dreams. Please tell me the crane is wrong. Please be alright. What did I do, what did I do?


Lynn pulled into her usual parking spot and slammed the car into park. She jumped out of the car and ran off without even closing the car door. Lynn could hear the paper crane laughing, cackling at her from the passenger seat. Up the stairs and down the hall Lynn fumbled with her key in the apartment door. She froze as she crossed the threshold. The apartment looked the same as when she left but now the air felt thick. Lynn couldn’t breathe as she headed into the bedroom where she prayed she would find Stanley. She found him. On the bed. Not moving. Lynn leaned over the bed to get a closer look, to see if Stan was breathing. She hovered a few seconds unable to see in the dark. Suddenly Stanley rolled over and gave a little start “Lynn! That’s the third time this month that I’ve woken up to find you standing over me like this. What’s the deal!? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Lynn exhaled and about fainted at the sight and sound of Stanley alive and well. Then Lynn thought back – had she done this before? Stanley said third time, what does that mean? Lynn kissed Stan on the head, said she was sorry and ran out the door to her Nissan. She was in complete confusion the entire ride to work. Had she imagined the whole morning? What about the letter from Stanley? She had seen it! Oh – and heard it too. Lynn pulled into work and started digging through the car looking for the lavender paper crane. She couldn’t find it anywhere. If only she could find the stupid crane she could prove to herself that at least part of the morning was real. Lynn needed the proof. But the paper crane was nowhere to be seen.


Lynn's Nissan
Lynn's Nissan | Source

End Note: I’ve been watching way too many scary movies lately where the man is the nutcase (I am THE biggest horror/suspense fan). It got me thinking about all the movies where the female is the one off her rocker – like Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct and Single White Female. This is my story of the crazy girlfriend. I’d wanted to try pure fiction for some time and what better opportunity to do it than the 30/30 challenge?!


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Comments 21 comments

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Fantastic story!! I'm impressed with your storytelling!! You got my vote!!:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Ardie - I always wanted to try pure fiction too but after reading this - forgettaboutit! lol This is super awesome!!! I loved it...at the end .. I wanted to yell - THE CRANE IS IN THE CAR SEAT!! lol

This is really great. You are a heck of a writer and this proves not only can you write almost any genre but you can do it really well. Loved it.


Haunty profile image

Haunty 4 years ago from Hungary

What great suspenseful story! I thought she killed him. I can't wait for the next part! :D


jenubouka 4 years ago

Loved it!

Isn't always the chick who is the crazed one? I am a huge chicken when it comes to horror flicks, I will run out of room screaming, as I did with White Noise. Never again.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

I am also on tenderhooks waiting for Part 2. Great work and has to have my up up and away !!

Take care

Eddy.


poshcoffeeco profile image

poshcoffeeco 4 years ago from Cambridgeshire

Great story Ardie, nice car also. Glad I didn't try a fiction story for my 30/30. I couldn't have told a tale like you. You should do more like this. Great read.

Vote up/awesome


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 4 years ago from Jamaica

I was so upset that my fiance called me away in the middle of reading, to tell me that my chicken was burning...lol. This is great Ardie. Very real and you wove it so well.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

SS625 – thank you! I was nervous because I’ve never really written fiction :P

RHW – the dumb broad kept such a messy car that she couldn’t find anything in it let alone a little paper crane hahah Did I leave that part out of the story? Oops Thanks for the complement because I wasn’t too sure writing this one

Haunty! You mean there’s a second part?! I can’t wait to read it :)

Jenubouka – yes, it is always the chick who is crazy and its usually over some lame man. I love horror movies…I’d love to write a horror novel one day…but not about Lynn, she’s not too exciting to me

Thanks Eiddwen! Im glad you liked it. I already have plans for a part two :)

Hi PCC I loooove that car! Thanks for being so kind. I don’t think the tale is all the great but I love that other people read it. When I was in school the teachers would tear my writing to shreds!

Cardisa, the fact that your dinner burned while you were reading my little tale is THE biggest complement eva! Thanks girl :)


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 4 years ago from Jamaica

Love the new avatar...spunky and mischievous. The other was so innocent, now I know you aren't so innocent after all....lol


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Cardisa, you're so funny. Thanks :) I tend to be a little ornery...I think it's because I am the baby of the family.


Jrandol62 profile image

Jrandol62 4 years ago from Where ever the road takes me....

Wow....great stuff Ardie! Really good. You've got my brain working now....Maybe I'll try another one soon. Maybe a rouge cowboy sauntering into a mysterious town, with a black widow of a woman, watching his every mooooove! LOL....maybe. :)


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Ardie...

This was a wild ride of homicidal dream tendencies. Awesome writing and development. Who hasn't experienced that stomach clutch of "Oh shit...did I leave a dead body in the bed?" I was right alongside with Lynn as she ran up the stairs to check if Stanley was croaked. Way cool, my friend!

A couple of observations...In your list of crazy female movie titles..You forgot "Thomas' failed marriage." Admittedly...It's just a screen play now...

Also...I THINK I might start writing random letters to girls I know in which I 'break-up' with them. That should rattle some cages...

Awesome great Job!

Thomas


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

You did a great job at your first attempt at fiction. This is excellent! I wouldn't get in a car with Lynn. Well done!


jonmcclusk profile image

jonmcclusk 4 years ago from Cinnaminson, New Jersey

This is a wonderful little bit of fiction. I think my favorite part would have to be when the paper crane talked to her, haha.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven

Ardie great story! I love the creative way you told it and the picture is great! You're an awesome writer! Voted up!


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Oooohh - creeeepy! This sort of reminds me of the old classic movie, Gaslight. I want to read the next chapter, too! C'mon, don't leave us dangling! Voted up and awesome!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

Hi Ardie (sneaking a peek at hurmmph) I am proud of you and enthusiatic too. I can't wait to get home tonight and read this. Bookmarked! Now, off I go to something else - smile, AFIC


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

Hello Ardie! How you be. In a friendly way, "Liar, Liar, Pants of fire" - Smile. From the stands It appears to me it went over the fence - home run! What a story. I'm not bookmarking this gem, I'm printing and filing in my cabinet of Stories to keep. Safer there than where crashes take place for me at times - LOL, bad about backing up my PC. Thank you for being courageous and sharing a delightful story of intrigue and mystery.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Jrandol! Thanks for reading! I would surely read your cowboy story… mmm yes I would :)

Hiya TSammiches – thanks much for the compliment. It really means a lot to me coming from you! I just talked to Lynn the other day and she couldn’t believe I was sharing her story. She’s so embarrassed and threatened me if I didn’t take it down. I think she’s only kidding though.

Tammys :) thanks for reading girl! I wouldn’t get in a car or a relationship with Lynn haha she might have a screw loose.

Hi jonmc – that paper crane. I never did decide where he went…was he even real? Was there even a letter to be folded into origami? I just don’t know.

Hello carolinemd, I really appreciate you stopping in and reading! I was nervous everyone would think I was the crazy one instead of Lynn ;)

Hiya sweet Marcy! I’ve heard of the movie Gaslight but I’ve never seen it. I will have to look it up because I love all the old suspense novels and movies. I cant believe I might be thinking about a next chapter heheh

Tsmog! You’re always such a welcome sight. How have you been holding up? You’re just way too sweet in your comments to me :) I actually really enjoyed coming up with this story and I will admit I had no idea where I would go with it while I was writing…oops! Next time I make an outline. Thanks for coming in.


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

Nice start -- at least it wasn't a text message, which I hear is a popular way of breaking up nowadays among the younger set. Voting this Up and Interesting.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi alocsin:) Breaking up by text. Now THAT might be enough to make someone lose his or her mind for real, huh?

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