MUFFIN WARS

You look hot
You look hot

I see you standing there.....

It is late in the evening and don't get me wrong, I have been thinking of you for quite a while. I wondered if you think of me too since I was your "creator" and I made you who you are today. When you came to me in "simple form" with all of your parts "undone" and scattered upon different royal settings, there was something "special" about you. I knew even then that you were mine to take "whenever."

I thought you would look best in a silver lined coat, but went for the ordinary frilly kind that reminded me of my childhood even though you still look like "royalty." As you sit there at the table looking over at me and pretending that you don't "stir" up anything makes me think that you are "evil." If it gets any worse and I can not defend myself, this my dear will be war! I can assure you that I will win. I always do.

So, I'm trying to analyze your effect on my writing this evening while I sit here all alone thinking of "bliss" as you touch my mouth and disappear in my hands. Part of me is really angry at you because you are the "last man" standing and this really pisses me off. You see I have devoured many like you in my lonely days this past week and I loved having your friends at night while I really needed a "pick up." I'm sorry, you were never the only one.

Tonight my concern is how sweet you are and I have visions of the wolf who finally tricked the Gingerbread Man. But you see you do not even have legs to run with and you have been loaded with heavy "treasures" that I saved for a very special occasion. Rich and sweet treasures that would make any women melt with desire and rush over to you and bring your "bliss" inside their hungry body. I'm not hungry, but I'm hungry for you.

I'm giving you one last chance my friend, to surrender to my needs and desires and I know you have been teasing me for the last hour or so. One thing I know for sure is as soon as I take you, you will not be able to fight me. You could sort of think of me as your "savior" from another evil and desperate enemy lurking in the house. Someone else in the ranks could have been really creative and torn you apart with their little aggressive hands. There is a good part of me because I have sat here and given you "hours of pleasure" of just being who you are.

I promise that I will not make you suffer and take you delicately next to the fire. The heat from my drink may melt your treasures, but know that I'm loving every minute of it. I know I will pay for this tomorrow morning and I'm willing to live with the guilt forever. I may have to move on to the other goodies in the neighborhood if I can't get over you.

So, now it is time to make you mine and I'm finding it hard NOT to tear you apart. Maybe I will just take "part of you" and then you can remain for a while longer. Be still my friend, you have no place to go because I can assure you that this should have happened a long time ago.  

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Comments 30 comments

Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Pooor poor little 'muff-kins' never have a chance of winning the war at my house either.

Love the hub made me hungry though so on that note I think I'll go and bake some kind of muffins...are you coming for coffee later?

regards Zsuzsy


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Zsuzsy Bee! Sounds divine! Would love to join you! I bet you can bake some amazing muffins! I can almost taste them! ha

Thanx for stopping in.....G


kartika damon profile image

kartika damon 6 years ago from Fairfield, Iowa

lol! I just made 70 cupcakes last Saturday for my birthday party! I had 2 friends over and we had a marathon baking day - we made zuchinni walnut fudge and applesauce spice muffins with cream cheese frosting.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Muffins are pretty much extinct at my house! We eat them as fast as they arrive!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

kartika! Happy Birthday! I hope you had a fantastic time! wow! 70 cupcakes?!!! Are there any left? ha ....MAN, zuchini walnut fudge?!!!!! Those babies would never last here! Glad you had a giggle.....Best, G


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

habee! I don't know why I torture myself! I may as well just eat them all after I make them! ha I guess I think if I save one or two I will lose weight! ha

Who am I kidding? Anyway, I bet you make some good one's! G


Ghost Whisper 77 profile image

Ghost Whisper 77 6 years ago from The U.S. Government protects Nazi War Criminals

I am going to keep coming back here to stare at that top picture...yummmmmmy! That looks so good with my java right now ;)


Jess Killmenow profile image

Jess Killmenow 6 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

I dunno, I just get the words to Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" in my head when I read this. Gotta go, I'm suddenly hungry...


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Ghost Whisper 77! I know....bring it on with a good cup of java! Best, GPAGE


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Jess! VERY funny.....hope you had a nice "treat!" Best, G


cheaptrick profile image

cheaptrick 6 years ago from the bridge of sighs

Hi G,You really hit home with this one!

I'm learning how to Bake right Now!

I forgot to let my first loaf of bred Rise twice and it came out of the oven looking like a Space Alien lol.

My ultimate goal is a "Chocolate Lava Cake",Yummy!!

Bean,


cheaptrick profile image

cheaptrick 6 years ago from the bridge of sighs

OMG I am not a Bean!

Don't have a clue do I?

Sincerely

Bean...


HappyHer profile image

HappyHer 6 years ago from Cleveland, OH

Oh GPage! You know right where to hit my weakness! My mouth was watering this whole time...., now, where is my muffin mix?


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

cheaptrick.....how did the lava cake go? ha Happy baking!!!!! G


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

HappyHer! I LOVE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS!!!!!!! Wait.....Did I say I LOVE chocolate muffins? ha.......glad to hear you baked muffins! ha G


The Rope profile image

The Rope 6 years ago from SE US

:D: :D: Once again, a wonderful treat - the muffins AND the read. Thanks GP! Sorry, gotta go, headed to the kitchen to dig out the choc morsels I hid away...


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

The Rope! So nice to see you here! Thank you for the lovely comment....I hope you enjoy those morsels! ; G


James McV Sailor profile image

James McV Sailor 6 years ago from Northern California

Ah yes.... a good muffin would be nice right now. Not much in the way of sweet comfort food here in Mexico, although the tamales are delicious..... Have you found an agent for your book? Best, JM


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

James! I just thought of you yesterday! Wondering how you are doing? I have not found an agent for my book. BUT have not sent out to any agent yet or pursued. Honestly, I do not know where to start! Screenplays are easy for me because I can get referrals from the Hollywood crowd. A novel for young adults is quite different!

I'm going to focus on this in March. The novel is for the Harry Potter and Twilight set.....something "inbetween" for young adults. Takes place on islands in and around Hawaii......tamales sound yummy! Thank you for stopping in and for your interest in my book. Nice of you to ask. Best, G


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

The muffins look fantastic and I really don't need to add anything to my daily calories! Great hub.


rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE 6 years ago from Tampa Bay

I found you over in cosette's cool hubbers hub and I'm glad I came over to find you! what a delightful hub! I will never, ever take my muffins for granted again. I wonder which one I will choose first... thanks for a wonderful read on this rainy late morning. :]


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Pamela99...thank you! so nice to see you here.....Best, GPAGE


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

rebekahELLE! So glad you found me! ; So glad that you enjoyed the hub ;

Be careful which sort of muffin you choose ; ha

Thanx for stopping by! Best, GPAGE


rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE 6 years ago from Tampa Bay

all last night I was craving one of those chocolate chip muffins. I'm going to find one today!


betherann profile image

betherann 6 years ago from Montana

This made me smile. I love muffins!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

rebekahElle......hope it was YUMMY! ;


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

betherann......thanks for stopping in.....GPAGE


meteoboy profile image

meteoboy 6 years ago from GREECE

Pretty nice !!!! My best to you .


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

thanx meteoboy! Always nice to see you! G


LilianEden profile image

LilianEden 5 years ago

LOVE IT!!!! hahaha! Xx!

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