Maggie May McAllister- My version

Maggie May Mcallsiter with a CMerrit twist.

After asking permission of WillStarr, I had decided to write my own version of Maggie May Mcallsiter. This is my first attempt at writing a fiction novellette. I thought the version by Will, Fred and Wayne was incredible. This premise of collaborating a western story intrigued me. So, I let my mind get the best of me and put it to words. So here it is.....Chapter one, that was done by WillStar is here: you can read it first and then conclude the CMerritt verson of the story here:

CHAPTER 2

My heart was pounding and my mind was racing. I knew time was a factor, but I knew I had to calm myself down. Pa told me before he headed off to Waterloo, that I was the man of the house while he was gone. Though I was not yet 16, I was more than ready to give it my all, just to be half the man my pa was.

Pa was as good as they made em. He had many talents, and was a man of strong morals. He was in Waterloo negotiating peace with the Musquawka Indian tribe. Settlers was moving in the area, with some resistance, and Pa had already built a lasting friendship with Black Hawk the Chief of the Musquawka tribe and wanted to assure him that peace was first and foremost. Pa had been through plenty of bloodshed in the past, along side Black Hawk, and was more than ready to do what he could to keep anymore bloodshed from falling on this prairie, a prairie that Ma and he had fallen in love with. Pa was a firm believer, in the due process of the law.

I strapped on the gun belt, even though it was my first time, it seemed as if I had done it all my life. I loaded my revolver, I grabbed Pa’s deer rifle and headed to the barn to saddle up. Ma grabbed me stern and square on my shoulders, looked deep into my eyes and told me to use the brain that God had given to me, to remember all that Pa had taught me, and to bring her Maggie May back home, safe and sound. As I mounted my horse, Ma was pointing to the east, towards the Cedar River. I rode hard down a path I was very familiar with. It was towards a crossing of the river, where Pa and I had spent plenty of time catching trout for many meals for our family. That was the only place where you could cross the Cedar River without risking your life.

I had encountered the Scruggs boys a few days ago in West Branch, when I took Maggie May and Ma there to get a few supplies we needed for the farm. There where three of them and as usual, they had been drinkin. The oldest one, Luke, was tall, thin and had a long beard. He was the loudest and was he hollerin at Maggie May, about how much she could “use some lovin by some real men”. The younger two, Ben and Matt was tryin to quiet Luke down, a tad. I was all but eager to square off with Luke, when Ma grabbed a hold of me and told me to just ignore them and carry on with our business. We managed to get our supplies and head back to the farm, without much more than exchanging some glaring looks at each other.

By the time I reached the crossing, it was getting dark and the moon was beginning to glistening off of the white crest of the river as it passed through the rocks and boulders in the shallow rapids. It was loud with the sounds of the river echoing through the valley. I noticed some fresh hoof prints in the mud of the river bank that was headin north up on top of a ridge that was steep and covered with thickets of wild prairie roses. I tied off my horse at the bottom, grabbed Pa’s deer rifle and climbed up quietly behind an old Hickory tree. I could see a glare of a campfire off of the bark of the old tree as I got near. The sound of the river made it difficult to hear anything, but I could see all three of the Scruggs boys sitting around the fire and Maggie was tied off to tree directly behind them. She looked worn out and scared, but she had a look in her eyes, just like I had just saw on Ma right before I left, one of determination. Maggie has always been one who never backed down from a challenge. Even as a small child she always wanted to do things for herself, and got ill-tempered when Ma and Pa would try to help her with something. So, I felt assured she was still okay just by the look on her face.

CHAPTER 3

It seemed natural to me as I grabbed Pa’s deer rifle and I eased it around and put the top of that front blade right smack in the middle of the campfire, as if I was hunting for that big old, bushy-tailed red squirrel. I was gonna “Bark them Scruggs boys”. I took the slack out of trigger and squeezed. It blew a cluster of wood, fire and hot ashes over all three of the three of them. Startled, stunned and surprised, they all fell backwards not knowing what was going on. I charged Matt who was the closest one to me with the butt of my rifle, laying him out with a full swing across the side of his head. Ben was charging me with full force, but I was able to side step him and slam him face first into the ground. By this time Luke had grabbed Maggie by the throat and was holding her tightly in front of him with his gun drawn. I drew my revolver and pointed without hesitation directly at the head of Luke. He yelled for me to drop my gun or he would put a bullet in my sister. We both glared at each just as we did on that day in West Branch when he was drunk and threatening Maggie. It seemed to be an eternity. Neither one of us was even considering backing down. At that moment, I could see that all too familiar look in Maggie’s eyes as she was ready for this to end. She threw her elbow with all her might right into Luke’s stomach. I fired! Smoke rolled out of the end of my colt as Luke’s whole body slammed against the tree where Maggie was tied too, his eyes wide open. He slid down the jagged bark and fell face down on the ground. Ben by this time had gathered his wits, and was starting to make a move towards me, and I firmly planted my pistol in the middle of his forehead. I asked him to reconsider any thoughts he had towards making this situation any worse. Matt at this time was barely able to speak, but he managed to convince his brother to oblige my command.

I untied Maggie May and hugger her. I noticed she had a bump on her forehead and was bleeding, I dabbed at the blood gently, but then she grabbed the cloth and scrubbed it off.

“No time for worrying about me….” Boy, did all of this sound so familiar. She looked and acted just like Ma. We loaded up Luke on the back of his horse, tied up Matt and Ben firmly on top of their horses, and led them back to West Branch to the town sheriff to be handled by due process of the law.

But I had to stop by our farm first, to bring Ma’s Maggie May back to her, safe and sound.

 

Comments 45 comments

Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 5 years ago from Rural Arizona

Well CMerrit, I guess we will have to change the name to the "4 musketeers". This was awesome my friend. Thanks to WillStarr, Ghost32, and Wayne Brown, we may be hearing a lot about Maggie-May in the months to come. I think you have found a new niche for your writing talents.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks OP!

I had fun doing this. I am not in the same league as Will, Ghost and Wayne. But I really enjoyed it.

Thanks for your very kind remarks.

:)


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

I think you did a fine job with Maggie, I really do. A whole new world just opened up to you. Up and awesome!


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks pops...that means a lot too me. I think you may be right, I may have to give this another crack.

:)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Chris Merritt is a true gentleman. He asked my permission to do this, and then asked one more time, just to make sure it was OK.

He’s also a budding new fiction writer. If this is actually his first attempt at fiction (and I have no reason to doubt him), then we are going to see some fine work indeed from Mr. Chris Merritt.


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

Excellent first attempt at fiction, I enjoyed reading your side of the adventures of Maggie May....she is becoming very popular....I agree that this is something you should continue to focus on....voted up


Stu From VT 5 years ago

Great job. For source material for additional fiction, be sure to catch all WH press conferences. :)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

LOL @ Stu!


Stu From VT 5 years ago

Anything to help! :)


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Very much enjoyed this.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks again Will, you don't know how much those words mean to me.

:)


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Cogerson, I had a blast letting my imagination run with this story and Maggie...Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.

:)


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks Stu, I appreciate your comments...and YES, the fiction is running wild at 1600 Pennsylvainia!!

lol


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Susan, thank YOU for stopping by and reading my version and leaving your very kind remarks.

:)


Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 5 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

Goodness gracious!! Well, you write very well indeed, and furthermore you are another great story teller...can`t wait for more, so glad you guys are using my name it just makes the story so much more appealing, hoping that this independant tomboyish streak of Maggie May continues,

MM


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

I think a Maggie May series would do very well!! I'm not sure WHAT I have in me for more, but I really had fun with this one.

Thanks for your comments Maggie... :)


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

C Merrit, I really liked this as well as the others, It's great to see such mileage come from a good idea. It has expanded greatly. I do hope you follow up, if I get all 4 Amigos writing westerns, I'll be reading way more than I do now! Peace Dusty


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Dusty, I really had fun letting this ol brain, dream up an ending for Maggie May. I may try to give it a stab at creating my own little western soon. I never dreamed I would ever even think about doing such a thing.

Thanks again Dusty.


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 5 years ago from Rural Arizona

CMerritt, take that stab my friend. You obviously have the talent.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

OP, I again appreciate that remark, but I'm not so sure if I have this talent or not. I'm not ever sure HOW to get myself started. Will provided the hard work with Maggie May...THAT is the part I am going to have to do some real "searching" to find that starting point to dive in.


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

CM, I took a stab at it a while back and I find your right, it's the getting started, I got my boost by the news here and circled my wagons and started from there mixing truth in with gun slinging fiction. Now I'm waiting on something to kick another off and do two or three parts over one much too long as I did then. I sit and read trying to pick up on successful writings, like Will, he seems to be able to just take off when he wants; as does Wayne and Fred.

Geddy up, now, dust


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks for the advise Dusty. Will is amazing, as I also have become fans of Wayne and Fred too. Have you posted your western hub? I would love to read it. I am looking for ideas and motivations.

Thanks again Dusty.


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

It's published, in modern day west, It's about the border wars "Arizona Border Wars Fiction On Drug And People Smuggling Into America" I want to tune my writing back to the old west, but that was my try of getting away from politics and moving toward the old west history with a main character moving as a US Marshal or some such, maybe a bounty hunter after the reward money on dead or alive posters he keeps rolled up in his vest inside pocket? I've got a few ideas but that starting thing is what it comes to for me, still, maybe doing a series like the one you just did, it really came out good, Peace, dust


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

I am heading that direction right now to check it out!

;)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Hi Chris,

Try writing a good first sentence that demands an explanation. Something like this:

"Looking back on it, I should have just kept right on riding and let it be, but that was never my nature."

Ok, so now we have all sorts of questions that demand answers...who is he? Where was he going? What did he see? Let what be?

Just fill in the blanks. Climb up into the saddle of your imagination, and give it its head. Let it take you to wonderful places and great adventures. Daydream your way to a great story.


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Aye, I'm peeking, I'll give that a try after feeding this evening. Peace, Dusty


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

That is exactly what I need Will, thanks. I just got to find me some time to get this one started.

dusty, do it buddy, I am a fan of yours too!

Will Thanks again for your blessings to let me have a shot at Maggie May, and for your input. It is so very much appreciated.


mindyjgirl profile image

mindyjgirl 5 years ago from Cottage Grove, Oregon

Thank you! A perfect ending for me :)


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks Mindy, I'm a sucker for happy endings too!... :)


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Hi CMerritt, just thought I would stop by.

For your first attempt it was great. I am a big fan if WillStar and if you continue like this I am sure I will be anxious to read your stories too.

Great write!


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Hi Cardisa, thanks for stopping by. I too am a huge WillStar fan. He was gracious enough to allow me to give it an attempt. It was fun, but I have a very, very long way to go to ever come close to being in the same league as Will. I really appreciate your kind words though.

:)


marshacanada profile image

marshacanada 5 years ago from Vancouver BC

Nice writing. Great visual detail, fast pace.I like your writing. Voted up and awsome.Thanks for this Hub CMerrit.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thank you so very much marsha!....I am becoming overwhelmed with the kind words about this attempt at a short story....

I appreciate it very much.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

You did a nice job of creating your own version of this story. Well done!


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thank you James. It was fun. It was my first attempt at a short story. Will is amazing, and he did all of the hard work, creating the story in my mind....I just ran with it.

I really, really appreciate your comment.

:)


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

You managed to do what I could not...save Maggie Mae. This was very well done and nicely written. It kept me on the hook all the way to the end. I think you have a future in western short stories or just fiction period. Keep up the good work! WB


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

I'm a sucker for happy endings...Wayne, you don't know how much I appreciate your remarks. They made my day.

My problem is trying to find time to do the writing I would enjoy doing.

Thank you for you taking the time to read my hub and commenting.

:-)


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Awesome Chris. You are certainly a very talented writer, and how lucky you are to have received the permission of the 'Old Timers'.

I am trying my hand a fiction too at the moment, but I haven't got the confidence to showcase on Hub Pages just yet.

I wish you so much success and I for one will be awaiting the next fiction read.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thank you so very much bluestar...you have made my morning... :)

YOU are a fantastic writer and should be very confident with yourself. I look forward to read your fiction. I just jumped in and went for it....and I have NO experience in writing what-so-ever. Just a goofey mind. lol.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

This was a good continuation of the Maggie May stories. I am also a fan of Will, Wayne and Fred. Keep playing around with it and you may have something. Try Wills suggestion. Use his first sentence and continue the story.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks Becky, I appreciate your comments and suggestion....I enjoyed doing this one, but am having a hard time getting in the mode to do more writing...I'm in a slump.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...always so wonderful to hear from you my friend and this fabulous piece should be dedicated to the true spirit of Hubpages where the world community of great thinkers and writers is made a much smaller place because of wonderful people like you.

Please accept my sincere best wishes to you and your family and keep in touch and keep thinking those good thoughts - lake erie time ontario canada 1:48pm


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thank you epi!!

:)


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

You have a flair for writing western stories. I liked all of the details...the look of determination in Maggie May's eyes...the ashes from the fire blowing up into the culprit's eyes from the blast of the gun, etc. Not sure if this was the western you referred to with the Winterset, Iowa background research...but it is good.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana Author

Thanks Peggy. Cole Honrnbeck, Chapter One is where I used Winterset to set the stage.

I appreciate you taking the time to read my hub.

http://hubpages.com/literature/Western-Story-Cole-...

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working