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Man I'm White...

Updated on June 25, 2015
Subaru Forester
Subaru Forester

Well for starters I am white. Not that it matters, but white people do some funny stuff. All people do, sometimes you just have to laugh about it. The other day while running some errands I noticed a few things about my situation and It dawned on me. I’m really not that hip

I recently read a book titled, Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander. The author lists all types of things white people do. Yes, it's a joke and very silly but as I compared my situation at that moment to the book, I had to laugh. Here are my observations that led me to this conclusion.

  • I was driving my wife’s Subaru Forester, this car basically screams yuppie white person. I used to hate it until a couple of winters ago when a huge blizzard hit. This car is a beast in the snow.
  • I was listening to some sort of Acoustic Sunrise radio show. Maybe NPR, I don’t remember, but it was pretty white.
  • I was pulling into the recycling lot. No seriously, I was toting the paper and plastic labeled tubs to the recycling bins in a Subaru Forester while listening to some whiny acoustic music. This is not to say people of all races don’t recycle, but I almost immediately think of white people in Portland or Seattle. It’s just me.
  • I was wearing a pair of old New Balance retro sneakers…driving a Forester, recycling. Starting to pile up against me here.

None of these things are exclusively done by white people, but if you add them all up you can see why I was almost laughing by the time I finished recycling. After moving all of my wife’s Trader Joe’s bags out of the way and putting the tubs back into the Forester, I was on my way. At this point I felt like the star of an LL Bean commercial.

I changed the station, enough of this. Then I looked in the side door pocket and found some of our road trip mix cd’s. I put one in and found what I was looking for, Ice Cube’s Today was a good day. Okay, I feel better about this.

I turn up the volume and start to enjoy the classic, singing along and no doubt looking like a idiot. As I started to pull out I almost had a tragic accident. No, not a wreck, my latte wasn't quite in the cup holder and almost spilled. I quickly secured it, adjusted my argyle twill gloves, and got back into my groove. I could sure go for a bagel right now! I thought. Maybe today will be a good day.

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