Dumb poem collection #109 through #119

The next 11 dumb poems after the first 108

It is tough to quit writing these things. Come to think of it, it may be just as tough to read 'em.

There's an art to Dumb Poems
There's an art to Dumb Poems

# 109 - Pro-Found

Ars est celare artem;
that’s how my verse is, postpartum.
It takes one like you or one like me
to get the message – really see.
You can’t just read ‘em. You have to heart ‘em.

 

A brief word from on high
A brief word from on high

# 110 - Better shape up down there

Why should there be much wonder
that there is often thunder
along with real hard rain?
Sometimes, when God is crying
about creations, trying,
He simply shouts with pain.

Ready or not, here I come
Ready or not, here I come

# 111 - Night workers – I

As I go to bed of a summer’s night,
I think of sweet rest to come ; pure delight.
So, it’s into my night togs and onto my bed.
When my head hits the pillow, my "roommates" see red.
Soon comes three in the morning, and on the fight goes.
No sleep! I’m still swatting those darn mosquitoes.

 

Butter on its way
Butter on its way

# 112 - Night workers – II

Two policemen fast asleep.
Birds all perching, snakes a’creep.
An alley cat who wants a friend.
A neighbor lurching ‘round the bend.
While, overhead, the bats all flutter,
and Bossy Cow makes milk for butter.

 

She knows how to do things, sure enough
She knows how to do things, sure enough

# 113 - Night workers – III

"Nurse, Nurse! I’m truly worse.
I’m caught up in this bedpan.
This bed’s a mess, I must confess.
Please do what only you can."

 

0.000001 miles per hour
0.000001 miles per hour

# 114 - Night workers – IV

Crawling slowly.
Feeling lowly.
Never wailing.
Simply snailing.

 

Those floors are just the least of it
Those floors are just the least of it

# 115 - Night workers – V

Up or down, inside or out,
night janitors will rarely shout.
Messy floors; their cup of tea,
and clean commodes; their history.
You never see them as you work,
but all that cleanness is no quirk.

 

There are  good grits and not-so-good grits
There are good grits and not-so-good grits

# 116 - Y’all come on back, heah?

If you’re from the South,
steer clear of the Ritz.
Their eggs are OK,
but they cannot cook grits.

 

Sealed with a kiss?
Sealed with a kiss?

# 117 - Through smoke and fog

There’s a funny thing with the mail today;
a 40-cent stamp will cost you "A."

Note: The postal service now just raises prices, but they used to sell letter-marked stamps when they raised prices on the things - hence "A" stamps.

 

He raffs a whole lot. too
He raffs a whole lot. too

# 118 - A leafing reader

There was a young man from Alief
whose language was strange and most brief.
His L’s were all R’s
and his R’s just plain L,
so he led just as fast as we reaf.

 

"Did you forget something!"
"Did you forget something!"

# 119 - Do not re-use this envelope

Non-delivery due to failure of sender
to supply whole address or to render
full postage as due.
We send all back to you.
(Did you mail this while on a big bender?)

 

More by this Author


Comments 18 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

I like them all, Gus- they are the best

Not one is better than all the rest.

I have to make a remark most sage,

You definitely improve with age!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Good Doctor bj - Your stuff rhymes better... and let's not discuss things like "age," OK?

By the way - With the voice improving (!) slightly now, there are but about 10 audios left to go on the eBook. thought you'd like to know.

Gus :-)))


vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 5 years ago from New York State

quirky and funny guss I like #110 the best but they are all cute.

God Bless


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

We need humour all the more at the moment,good ones!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Hey - Thanks, Vet. Got some more planned - maybe this weekend.

Gus :-)))


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Hi kathryn - Yes. These days things are kinda rough. I hope all is going well for you.

Gus :-)))


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

Well,the state of the world is rather grim but we have to face it.Hope you and yours are ok :))


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Oh, I like the snail, the mosquito, the profound, the night workers, Shape up...oh heck, I like them all...Most of all I like you!!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Howdy Fossillady - Perhaps you are one of those likeable people...

Gus :-)))


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

He's so funny and you are so lovely!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland

Great turn of phrase Gus. So many to your credit.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

What a wonderful, charming collection that brightened my day. Thank you!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Hi kathryn, Hi chspublish, Hi Genna - Gotta stick these all into one comment, but I do want to tell you all "thank you." Just to let you know that there are more posted, most of them little limerick-like things. Hope you all enjoy them, or some of them anyway.

Gus :-)))


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Vet, good friend, I thought that I had answered your kind and welcome comment, but, as I age along here, I am getting more and more forgetful. Somehow, I missed answering you. For that I apologize. So, now you can again say something nice and I will do my best to remember to answer you this next time...

Gus :-)))


vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 5 years ago from New York State

Gus I must be on your mind, as you answered me twice and that's real nice. I adore your quirky little dumb poems. Thanks for sharing them with us.

God Bless my friend


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Hi Vet - The fact is that my mind is rather empty, as you have seen. I see your earlier entry now, but I missed it somehow earlier - so you got two answers. Thanks for your patience.

Gus :-)))


tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

Gus, Your little rhymes are just divines, and how I love them so!

They go real well, indeed out sell, most others that I know! I have missed you! Hope all is right in your world!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA Author

Hi tnderhrt - All is well. I like your rhymes (and real poems), too. Thanks.

Gus :-)))

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