Maybe ELO is Right: I Can't Get it Out of My Head
Today, there are just too many occupants in my head. Too many people, places and things. So much so that there's not even enough room for me in there. Some days, not even a long walk seems to cure this circumstance of over-crowding. "Trouble Mind?," you ask. No, it's really more just a mind full of information, "to do lists" and point A to point B and back around again. Strategies, Ideas and Philosophies.
It's just time for a purge, because I have been bingeing on too much "stuff." I would have made a brilliant dual personality, for it seems I drop kick the philosophy of "Right Brain and Left Brain" One side of me is this corporate shark who can start work on cutting a deal or building a merger before breakfast and by dinner be working on the closing of the "situation." In my profession every state has different rules and is heavily regulated, and can list the laws, the name and the phone numbers of the chief commissioner in 20 states. And I knows these people to the point of being on first name basis.
At the same time I'm by some stretch of the imagination an Artist (not in the con sense, thought some may argue that) I am an abstract paint who has found a small bit of success in a few markets. I am a writer, I can convey a message without in written word, I can be the occaisonal poet, but I can't only do that when I have anger, pain, or feel disinfranchised. I once in my younger days even studied music theory so I could compose.
I have problems finding other people who can intergrate their daily lives, into a melting pot of interest. Many times I run across people who have only developed one part of themselves and once you caught that part of the film its rerun after rerun, while you fane interest in leftovers.
I'm tired of "yes men." People that are affraid to make a descision for themselves and stick to it, for fear of losing a job, career, or being judge by their peers. Not realizing that they are losing their dignity, and self worth. Selling there souls and their wills; and becoming mindless drones.
Face it people the world wasn't conquered by Alexander the Oh-Hum or Ivan the nice guy. We are humans who need to be who we are and be free thinkers. Do you believe the jawbreaker, going to the moon, or the quaterback blitz was concieved by people who thought it's OK to stand in line at the 20 items or less lane, while someone buys 50 items? Do you think while they are standing in this line; they are thinking, "I wonder how much of my precious life in being wasted, due to standing in lines?"
Whatever happened to the "I mad as HELL and I'm not going to take anymore." mentality? Being nice is one thing, but when did we become a country of "no one keeps score becuase we are all winners" (LOSERS!) or how about " We grade on a curve" or may favorite, "Gosh, I don't know let's just do what you want." While you sit some place that you don't want to be, or pull an Al Bundy and pray for a lighting bolt to hit ya.
So maybe while I am purging and jetisoning all this crap I am starting to think maybe ELO is too easy, gentle and soft for the bile, I am spuwing. Maybe I need something more, more than the ambient tones of "I Can't Get it Out of My Head"....(Hmm)
ELO - I Cant Get It Out Of My Head.
Or, maybe Alanis is right? The more that I think about it in lyrical terms, in mental terms and design of best case senerios. Hold on because I know I am not alone in thought, or in magnitude of the internal clash, nor in the deeds and actions that is I. Peace inside a hurricane of corporate junk, laws, memorizing names of people I could really care a less about, being higher profile than I truly care to be in the real world. I am a person who believes in creating. Some believe in destroy. But I have always been able to create from the ashes and rubble that other leave in the wake of their distruction. Truthfully I've always been able to create from the distruction I have made. It is part of who we are, this ablity to land on our feet, rebuild and remake into something. That is a beauty of being an addict, we can find order in chaos, we can asimulate, and find peace when other are caught in the whirlwind of the chaos.
My wave of streaming and bouncing thought into the fan and seeing if they'll stick to the wall is coming to an end, but I will leave this blog, disiding that it may not be ELO who is right, but Alanis Morissette singing what I believe catches the wave that I am riding on today..."All I Really Want."
Alanis Morissette - All I Really Want
Ahh..feel so much better.
Birds chirping, crickets- cricketing. Birds eating crickets....Ahh the circle of life.
Settling in for a smooth night.
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