Maybe I Don't Fit, Because there is Nowhere I Belong
Sometimes I find it hard to see
How Can I Teach if I Don't Know Who I Am
Shadows enter the light and the day turns to night.
Keeping away the fear and the knowledge of who we are,
I am blinded by the darkness and shutter deep within,
The place where I once was where I keep all my sin.
Anger rises and tempers blare,
The words are spoken and suggest no one cares.
There is truth hidden in every lie,
And there is always a reason to convince ourselves we need our disguise.
Letting go of illusion is harder than it seems,
When you’re not sure if you are good enough for this reality.
Sharing secrets-showing your heart,
Is anyone ever good enough just as we are?
The years go bye and life gives lessons,
But what I have learned has caused regression.
I’m not sure all the time I am going to be right,
Even when I try, I can’t focus my site.
Age is nothing that years don’t cause,
I am still looking for the answers for the questions I can’t resolve.
How can I explain what I don’t yet understand?
How can I teach others when I’m still not sure who I am?
Shadows lead to darkness-The tears begin to fall,
I am overcome with emotion and I am lost to all.
Not sure what I am doing,
I keep my thoughts to myself,
For fear that I will be wrong and I should be someone else.
I feel my heart screaming,
But the words don’t come out,
I pray that I will understand to explain everything I have felt.
Laugh a little to hide the truth,
Make someone giggle, because that’s just what I do.
She’s so great, such a helping hand,
That’s what they all say when they are asked who I am.
Do they really know-what’s inside of me?
I’m still not sure- what’s the truth that I need them to see.
I just want a chance- to give me a place,
But I can’t stand up and demand to them my space.
The years I have lived,
The lessons I have learned,
Still haven’t given me the strength to demand a turn.
The light becomes overwhelming,
And everyone can see,
When I can’t handle anymore,
And loose my faith and all I believe.
Such a disappointment I feel for myself,
I lost my knowledge and created a personal hell.
Does anyone ever care for the well being of another?
Or is it the lost reality of no one wanting to bother.
I get pushed from the light,
Shadows pull me in,
They comfort my soul,
And bring back a past I can’t forget.
Maybe this is me- sad and alone.
Maybe I don’t fit because there is nowhere I belong.
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