Meant to be forever in love.
I was one of those kids you will call Mom's boy,being the last in the family,was a thing i did appreciate a great deal.Mom always made sure that i was up to date with all the games and educative materials.
I was the pet of the family and every where i go, people liked me.Perhaps my Dad's personality was the reason but i was only 9years old.I have couple of friends but in school,i have a group and we call ourselves the Elites.Our symbol was MTBFIL.
We did things together but there is something about us,Anderson is Alvina's first cousin while Loren and Albert are step siblings,these four members were related but myself and Karen were different,we were just their friends and are not related so every other group member called us husband and wife.
We were kids but i knew that she was beautiful though there is something about Karen.
She is disable, she cannot talk, she is dumb but that didn't stop her from taking the first position in the class.
But there were special teachers that took care of students like Karen,despite her disability,we still did things together,our home works and i mean almost everything,so many times in class,i will pretend that i was reading but will be watching her,I know inside me that i love her more than an ordinary group member but we were kids.
There was no way to express this feeling to her.
To me then,her disability meant nothing bad
In fact i love her because she could not talk
Though i was sympathetic of her but i was in love too
As we grew,my feelings for her grew stronger and our group kept growing with us,we loved each other and was always there learning together, our parents liked us and many a time we were used as examples in the school because our teachers knew of the bond the elites shared,the fact that four of our members were related made our association look family oriented but within my very self, i knew that it has to do with more than family,especially my everyday activity with Karen.
What i feel for her is more than family besides we were not related.
This feeling grew with me until we left junior school and got admitted into the senior school,our school has both junior and senior sections so we were not separated.We all continued the elite group in the senior secondary and one thing about us is this.
We said that it is just the six of us
We agreed not to take any other member
This was like an oat which we all kept
Our symbol MTBFIL is a serious thing to us
By the time we got to the senior class,Karen has grown into an elegant young lady.I knew that i can't hold on any more,we are grown now so i have to let her know my true feelings.I was a year older than her.
It was our final year at the school and for sure the elites will be separated because we all will have to pursue our different careers at different universities so it is time to let this feeling in me out.
She was surprise to see me at her house that evening.I asked her to accompany me to the cinema so we both left to go and watch Titanic in the big screen that evening.Then this movie was a hit.
I have been to the cinema times without number but this day with Karen alone was a different day, it was the day i chose to let her know what i feel and how long i have had this feeling though my fear was if she will understand me in the same way.
She rested her lovely head on my shoulder throughout the duration of the movie,her milky hair was all over me,the background song was actually meant for us,if not for her but for me because i see her every night in my dreams.
It was unbelievable that we both were crying at the end of the movie.When we got outside,i brought out a piece of paper and pen and wrote this for her.
My heart will go on...
She took the paper from me and wrote this
You jump i jump...
We both smiled then i took the paper back from her and wrote this
I love you Karen...
She collected it and wrote
I love you too...
That was how we have communicated since i was 9years.
I took the paper and wrote
There is something i want to let you know...
She responded by writing
So i brought out another sheet of paper and began writing what i feel for her and how long i have had this feeling.I saw the surprise in her as she read all i wrote then the final thing i wrote was a question;
What do you feel about us?
She looked at me and smiled then took the pen from me and wrote this.
Joel,i know that you love me,i understood the way you look at me even when we were in the primary but it is not that kind of love you are thinking because you love me out of sympathy.
To be frank, i have asked myself this question since i was 9years,
Do i love her from my heart?
I looked at her that moment and saw her serious for the first time since i have known her, she didn't have her regular smile,she was staring at me with that kind of big eyes that can take your soul if stared at for a long time.
I then wrote this and gave her
Karen,every night in my dream,i see you,i hear you and that is how i know you can talk.
We continued writing and replying until we had no more sheets,by this time we have used a total of 20 A4 sheets.
It was getting dark so we decided to go home,as we walked side by side alone in the lonely street,holding hands and feeling the wind and slight cold,i decided to do something different so i stopped and held her two hands,there was the two of us with stars shining from the sky,i looked into her eyes and quietly bent down my head,i was closer to her face then silently speak words she alone could hear.
I said MTBFIL..
Her tears dropped slowly and i brought out an handkerchief and helped her wipe her tears,she looked at me and murmured a word, she tried to speak but could not then i said.
Meant to be forever in love...
She used the sign language and asked me to give her my pen then she held my hand,turned my palm and wrote this
MTBFIL..Now i am assured of your love...
I took the pen and on her palm i wrote
I love you for who you are...
I know that i love her not out of sympathy but from the deepest dept of my heart,many years have passed after that evening outing and we are still together.
MTBFIL (MEANT TO BE FOREVER IN LOVE)