Midnight Mission


Roger left the house in his pajamas, on a groggy search for Edy’s Strawberry Slow Churned Ice Cream. He took his mission seriously as he was under strict orders, no other brand would be an acceptable substitute.

The first grocery store was closed, as it was almost midnight on a Sunday. The second store was open, but after searching the shelves and having an apathetic teenager check the back, was of no use. He hopped back into his truck, tired but determined.

He had to find it, or what use was he? His wife had awakened with a taste for one particular brand and it was his job to find it. What would he tell his unborn son, that he had failed his mission? No sir, he would drive to the next town if need be, but he was coming home with the good stuff. His sleep depended on it.

Walmart was next, and he liked his chances, if he couldn't find the right brand of ice cream at America’s obesity headquarters then this country was on the verge of collapse. He pulled into the extensive parking lot, which although it was now midnight, was almost a third full. Heading inside, he nodded at a younger man exiting, haggard and worn, the man was wearing an ancient Hard Rock Cafe T–shirt and jogging pants, the bags under his eyes betraying his weariness. In his hands was a family-size jar of pickles.

The doors slid open and the familiar beeps of the registers could be heard, as the harmonious transactions never slept. Roger made his way towards the freezers hoping that this would be the last stop on his late night quest. He rubbed his eyes under the florescent glow of the bright lights overhead.

At the ice cream aisle, he began his search, Rocky Road, Double Chocolate Chunk, Reese’s, Cookies and Cream, Cookie Dough. A group of college aged students were searching as well, laughing and giggling without a care in the world. He smiled politely, but he was there on urgent business, out of the way kids.

And then he spotted it, in the back, a single container of Edy’s Strawberry Slow Churned Ice Cream. He looked around and then quickly snatched it from the freezer, unable to believe his good fortune he gave it a quick inspection and then made his way to the front.

Back in the truck, Roger smiled, he just might get to sleep after all. He started the engine and began on his way home.

He listened to a talk show about ufo’s and wondered if there was anyone else listening at this hour. A man professing to be a scientist was describing in striking detail, an abduction he had witnessed some years before. Having heard enough, Roger changed the station, classic rock, as he turned up the volume he noticed the flashing lights in the rear view.

You've gotta be kidding me.

He pulled over at the old gas station just over a mile from the house. A single light shined on the pumps as the station had been closed for hours. Roger let down his window, feeling the muggy summer air infiltrate the cabin. He turned off the ignition, waiting patiently while trying to think of just what exactly police officers do in their car for so long after pulling someone over.

Finally, the officer emerged from his vehicle, inspecting Roger’s truck as he passed. As he approached Roger’s window he closely examined his eyes as he spoke.

“License and registration please.”


Roger handed it over, he noticed the officer glance at the ice cream sitting on the passenger seat.

“Where you headed?”

“Home, I uh, had to run out to grab this.” Roger answered looking over at the ice cream, now turning soft.

A pause, the officer scanned Roger’s outfit, then shined his Mag-lite on the quickly melting ice cream.

“How far along is she?”

“Sir? Oh….uh about six months.” He was dealing with quite the detective here.

Another pause, Roger heard dispatcher from the patrol car radio.

~~Unit five, we have a possible 211 at 198 Blake, Unit five~~

The officer turned his head slightly, before mercifully clicking off the flashlight. He calmly responded to the dispatcher from his handset before returning Roger's information. The flashlight was back on, pointed at the ice cream in the seat.

“Slow it down through here, got it? Also, get her the waffle cones with that, you’ll thank me next time.”

“Yes Sir.”

Roger arrived home and quickly put the ice cream in the freezer. He found his pregnant wife on the couch, asleep on her side with one of her numerous expectant mom magazines on her lap. Beside her was Julius, their 3 year old lab. He lifted his head and attempted to wag his tail but instead only yawned. Roger found a spot on the couch and rested his hand on his wife’s leg, smiling as he thought of his successful trip. His wife turned her head to him and smiled.

"You're back."

"Yep, mission accomplished."

"You got the pickles?"

"The what?"

Copyright 2012 Pete Fanning

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Comments 20 comments

Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Awww, are we going through the craving stage now? Luckily, I never went through that with my three, My husband did. He also had the morning sickness, I felt great and could eat anything but onions. My poor husband lost weight. Hahahahaha

weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Yes Becky, but luckily this is not a true story.....yet! Sounds like you had a pretty good deal!

Jenna Pope profile image

Jenna Pope 4 years ago from Southern California

This made me laugh -- especially the ending! Waaaaay cute. Voted up.

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Been there and done that! There may not be a husband alive who cannot relate to this. Great job Pete! You had me laughing, and cringing, the whole way.

HaleyMCruz profile image

HaleyMCruz 4 years ago from California

Wow I loved this! Such a cute story...totally made me smile and feel in the mood for ice cream!

weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Jenna, glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks billbuc, I'm doing a little bit of both myself these days!

Thanks for reading Haley, that brand is hard to find where I live so of course it's my wife's favorite!

emraldwolf profile image

emraldwolf 4 years ago

i like the story it made me laugh!

ThatFatGuy profile image

ThatFatGuy 4 years ago from Here and there

Probably one of the best stories I have read here on HubPages! Thank you for the awesome read.

Mr Archer profile image

Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

Another example of your having your finger on the funny bone of the nation, and finding a way to write a great hub about it. Great job again!

weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Glad you liked it emraldwolf, thanks!

Wow, thank you ThatFatGuy, I appreciate the kind words.

Thanks Mr. Archer, I'll show my wife your comment and see what she has to say about it!

LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Beautiful story..... Well written, and sweet! Don't we all know about cravings, hehehe

Voting up and awesome!

nmdonders profile image

nmdonders 4 years ago

Hilarious and so true. I think Edy’s should give you royalties :)

carter06 profile image

carter06 4 years ago from Cronulla NSW

Gosh I loved this story and was gonna say you are the sweetest hubby... but heard you say it's fiction...but very sweet story just the same...Voted U,A,B & shared...

weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks LaThing, I'm learning quickly about these cravings!

Didn't think of that nmdonders, yeah, thanks!

The forgetting is all me, that's what I'm good at, going to the store for one thing and buying everything but that! Glad you enjoyed Carter, Thanks1

Mama Kim 8 profile image

Mama Kim 8 4 years ago

Adorable story! Voted up for sure . Until reading the comments on this I always thought this was more of a movie thing. During both my pregnancies I had cravings but I never and would never send my hubby out to fetch something for me. I would be way too worried he'd get in an accident or something and all because I wanted coconut ice cream...

You're a great writer and I'm going off to search your other hubs...

americanidle7 profile image

americanidle7 4 years ago

great story! and now I really want slow-churned strawberry ice cream...

weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Kim, we are at four months now, and I haven't been sent on any late night missions yet, a few evening ones but nothing too late. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Thanks Americanidle, it is really good!

Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

I always made my husband go out and get me tuna sandwiches. Boy did I crave those and I was even sick all 9 months, but still wanted that tuna. Awesome hub!

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Funny stuff! Up and hilarious.

weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Sorry to hear about the sickness Glimmer, my wife is doing much better now that she's in the 2nd trimester, we'll see. Thanks for reading!

Thanks WillStar, glad you enjoyed it!

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