Moby Duck

Little Moby lost out on the limelight. Older brothers Huey, Dewey and Louie were always more photogenic. And, while not a medically endangering condition, Moby’s hydrocephalic appearance did not endear him to too many casting directors.

Moby was also hampered by his albinism. Though his triplet brothers were also fully white in body and facial coloration, they at least did not possess Moby’s unnerving pink eyes and exceedingly pale bill and feet. And — oh, those feet! — size 43 GGG and webbed to boot! What a pair of pontoons!

Word on the backlot grapevine is that the poor lad’s Uncle Donald even cast the crucial deciding vote that blackballed wee white Moby from Walt Disney animation fame. (Personally, I’ve never trusted that obstreperous waterfowl, in his silly sailor suit.)

But fret not for Moby Duck. After a long longshoreman’s and merchant mariner’s career at the San Francisco docks, Moby will be paddling away to the seaside sunset with quite a fat pension.