Monsters in the Trees

After all the screaming was done, Jenny Camacho seemed to relax a little, but not completely.

If I stay here, will he just kill me or continue to torment me? She thought as she looked toward the ranger shack. She knew exactly what he would do and the thought of it sent shivers down her spine. That was enough for her to continue avoiding the sick son of a bitch. She knew she just had to move on.

Fighting to keep her thoughts centered she started following the trail again. This time she had a more determined goal. She wanted freedom. However, death seemed more and more likely than a rescue. The forest gave the maniac his much needed coverage. He could kill her once and take a day doing it before anyone would know. That’s when she realized that the beauty and greenery surrounding her had begun to take on a more ominous nature. The tall trees humped over like attacking creatures and the vines looked like serpents and snakes. All the larger leaves dangling started to look like monsters in the trees. The wind was circling her as if it wanted to make her dizzy and knock her down.

Jenny Camacho remained silent for a moment, lost in terror. The beauty of the forest had totally changed. She had a new concern. The socio-path and the dangers hidden in the forest, disguised as beauty.

After a few more dark thoughts invaded her mind she just snapped out of her melancholy.

“I got to keep moving.” She half whispered.

She was very thirsty and her throat kept reminding her of that fact. She wanted to drink down the entire river, but she didn’t want to stop. It was then when she came across a small pond. It could have been a duck pond, but it didn’t matter. She had to drink.

Jenny was drinking from the pond and describing the unpleasant taste at the same time. Because of the water splashing in and out of her mouth, she made little noises, but was unable to put together a coherent word. She was just trying to tell herself that the water tasted like dirt, but it cured her thirst.

Then, there it was. Staring, the reason she was being chased down by a crazed lunatic. It was her reflection that stared right back at her from the water. She looked at her reflection with confusion and frustration practically leaping out of her eyes.

She hated it. Her nose was too small, and there was too much forehead. Her hair hung there like lifeless string, and she was thin, perhaps too thin. At least that’s how the water described her. It was also the reason she was being hunted. The socio-path thought he was doing her parents justice. He had it in his mind that youth and beauty could be maintained. Time steals away beauty and there is nothing anyone could do about it. The lunatic decided that he could do something about it. If he could kill you while you are at your best, the photos will serve as permanent proof that beauty could be imprisoned. There would never be a photo or an image of an uglier you. The memories of all the dead women will be at their most attractive state.

Jenny Camacho pulled herself back away from her image. She grabbed a flat, smooth stone and hurled it at where her image once appeared.

She heard some noises coming from the brush behind her. It was so minor the noises that under ordinary circumstances, there wasn’t cause for the slightest concern. But this was no ordinary circumstance, and she had to run without doubt. She jumped over a small grouping of vines and landed directly in front of a wild dog. It was a smaller dog, but it was barely inches away from her face.

She gasped in surprise and skidded back as far as should could. The wild dog crooked his head and started panting. There was no violent movement coming from the dog. In fact, it was staring at Jenny just like a puppy would.

“Good boy,” she softened. “I’ll leave you alone.”

The dog whined a little.

“It’s okay,” she continued. “I won’t hurt you.”

Footfalls filled the area as Jenny tried to remain still. The wild dog thought that she wanted to play so it jumped right into her lap.

“Please, please be quiet,” she whispered.

The dog barked.

“Please.”

The dog’s ears stood at alert. It heard the noises coming from the duck pond, and decided it had to take a look.

“Come back,” Jenny half whispered.

The dog dove right over her, leaving the concerned Jenny behind. Ducks and other wild birds were scattering everywhere, squawking in confusion. It was then when she heard the wild dog become vicious by nature. The dog was challenging the lanky man, bellowing his defiance.

“God help the dog, please,” said Jenny as she took that time to put some space between her and the socio-path.

The maniac was wielding a long weapon. Jenny caught it from the corner of her eye as she slipped into the dense part of the forest. She had this urge to go back and help the wild dog, but she couldn’t do it. She staggered down a small path overgrown with poison ivy, her mind and body reeling.

There it was. The yelp that came from the wild dog was a clear indication that it lost the battle. Jenny stood there briefly, waiting for him. She had her fists clenched in a new found rage.

What am I doing? She thought.

Her body suddenly began to stiffen. She seemed to lose control over her feet as she tried to run. She tried everything she could to move, but there was nothing she could do. It was as if her legs took root and she was turning into one of the forest trees. She looked down in horror, but didn’t see any reason why she couldn’t move.

She was frozen in place and she couldn’t comprehend any of it. She then heard a whistling sound coming from the left side of her. Her neck, although feeling like a tree bark, was moving slowly toward the sound. Her arms started swaying like tree branches in the wind. Her legs started feeling the blood flowing and suddenly she was able to move.

RUN! Her mind shouted in rapid successions.

So she did.

Source

Can You?

Do you think you have it in you to give this story a final ending?

See results without voting

© 2014 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 110 comments

Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Awesome ...and I am up to your challenge, punk!!! I mean, dear Frank. I never back down from a challenge, plus I never go into battle without the full armor of God on to fight evil! So, do I email the alternate ending to you punk ...umm, dear Frank? Let the challenge begin, Faith Reaper. Up and more and sharing : )


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

First let me get off the office floor from laughing.. secondly.. publish it and I will take the link and put it in the alternate ending box.. and then share it..:) Thanks for the morning laugh crazy


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

LOL ... oh, I got you, punk! Sounds like a fun and creative idea you have come up with here. Hugs, Faith Reaper


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

So do you feel creative? well do you punk? Then get errrrrr done!!!!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

Frank, I'm one who wanted Jenny to be rescued. I hope Faith will do it for me. You did a great job continuing the story.

"It was as if her legs took root." Great writing!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Msdora try the challenge ...:)


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 2 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Wonderful, I love these challenges. They get people's thoughts going, for some very wild and imaginative stories. Unfortunately, I do not have the time to work on this.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Becky thanks for stopping by.. I would have been curious to see your alternate ending.. :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Hmm Frank, you issued a challenge, is that the same as a dare? Anyone reading my hubs knows I can't pass one of those up..haha. This isn't my genre, but I'll give it a go. My attempt could end up in the waste paper basket though, I warn. Great writing punk!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

I have it done, just adding the imagery! Prepare to be blown away. Now, just have to decide when to publish.

Hug, Faith Reaper


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Jodah..put on your creativity cap and stop punking out..lets see what you got..LOL and Faith im holding tight to the arm rest just waiting to be blown away... give me your best shot GIRL!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Hey Frank, Check out my ending here: http://hubpages.com/literature/The-Whistling

Hope it measures up.

John.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Jodah.. bravo!!!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Morning Frank, I got it done ...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

got it will move it in place tonight so my other sites could view this alternate ending :)


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

Read this last night and was too sleepy tp leave comment. Now I have read Johns and Faiths endings, both very good, huh? Will share to get this whole ball of wax you got going spread a little bit! ^


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

AWESOME! I like the power this story conveys. The last paragraph was sheer terror. Wouldn't this make a great book idea? You might provide one core story then let various writers provide alternate beginnings (about who the man is and Jenny's relationship with him -- stranger, boyfriend, teacher, father, etc.) and also alternate endings (does she escape, is she killed, does she kill and skin him, is she rescued in the nick of time, something else?). I can't wait to read the alternates.

I had a psych professor in grad school who was very colorful. She told stories about living in a very dangerous urban area and encountering all kinds of scoundrels. One of the best tips she offered for getting people to leave her alone was skipping and singing to give the appearance that she was mentally ill. She also used to give tips about if you're ever confronted by a bad guy, things to try (e.g., call him by name -- any name -- and start acting like you know him from somewhere). She was a weird lady, but very entertaining. Of course, a psychologist. You've started something great here, Frank!


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Frank, I missed this earlier, but just read Faith's brilliant story and though I'd better take a look. I had written a short alternative ending to your original story which I will probably post, if time allows before heading off to work. If I do publish please remember, my story was written before I saw your criteria and there's no time to change it.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Jackie, Flourish lets see what you guys have in your creative bag of tricks lets see the alternate ending you can produce for Jenny :) Tobusiness cant wait to see your take :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

I can't wait to read them all.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

I too Jodah am sitting in waiting.. got good feed back so far on your via email.. I haven't linked Faith's yet but I will :)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

Brilliant Frank but at the moment my time is also limited. Looking forward to so many more my friend and Happy new year from Wales.

Eddy,


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Bless you Eddy...:)


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Hey Clint! It’s good to see you.

Oops – wait a sec. I’ll be right back. I can’t seem to find my chair. :-)


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Phew. Back again. (Seems Little Bill done stole it away, but he’s forgiven.)

Like I was sayin’, I’m late to this here party, but I jus read Jodah’s and Faith’s endin’ and was blown away by your challenge and their writin’. Dunno if I could do any better that what they already done. I’d love to partake in this, but I’m afraid I don’t have enough time. If you’d care to extend it, that might jus be a “go.” All I need is my serape and a good cigar, and I’m there, my friend.

Seriously, though, Frank...I think this is a great challenge and look forward to reading more alternate endings. Jodah and Faith both did a wonderful job! :-)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Glad you got ur chair back under you... I would like to see an ending from you.. yes Jodah.. and Whats her face.. did a bang up job.. but everyone has a little something different.. so light up that cigar and put your spit into the ring..:) bless you Genna East or West..Huh? LOL


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 2 years ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

Frank, I just caught up with this challenge. I hope I understand it correctly because I'm going to throw my alternate ending into the mix. Stay tuned.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

You should I am simply taken back with the endings so far.. Jodah with his Fantasy twist which I didn't think would have worked.. but yeah he did it so well, and Faith with her ranger rescue.. LOL she went down a dramatic avenue and Tobusiness just came out of left field and bang.. hit a home run.. I am so surprised on the twists my little short story developed into. It was only a 500 page short piece which took off.. throw your short in too please :)


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

“…so light up that cigar and put your spit into the ring…”

Okay…that grossed me out. Lol.

I’m working on another project until next week, and will then give this a try. This is fun, and it’s fascinating to read the alternate endings. Thank you, Frank.


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 2 years ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

First draft completed and it's far too long, haha. 914 words. I have a bit of editing to do.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Genna East we were doing that Clint Eastwood thing right? He spits everytime he pulls from his cigar.. LOL sorry about grossing you out.. hey did I wish you a happy New Year? If not there it is..and bless you :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Cam the alternate ending should be a story too that's why I said Min of not max.. I dont want a quick ending so lets put what you got out on the box :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Hey Frank, did you clear things up with that friend of yours who thought my alternate ending was you writing in a different style under a new pseudonym? That gave me a laugh.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Lol. Frank, the spit thing was perfect Clint Eastwood. I was teasing because it always grosses me out to see spittin' tobacco. Yuck.

I look forward to new alternate endings! Have fun, everyone! :-)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Yeah.. Jodah, she said she just started reading the story and not the intro part she called it the blah blah part.. LOL an idiot LOL and Genna I got the teasing :) bless you


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 2 years ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

Frank, here is my submission. Thanks for the fun opportunity. http://cam8510.hubpages.com/hub/Death-Chamber


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

got it Cam thanks


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 2 years ago from Lagos

OMG! THAT WAS NOT JUST THRILLING BUT ALMOST Stiffened MY NERVES to brink of collapse and death lol. THE FEAR, PANIC AND ANXIETY CAPTURED IN YOUR WORDS IS OUTSTANDING. KUDOS. GREAT JOB SIRE.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Morning Frank,

Just came back to say thanks for sharing on your fan page whenever you have the chance.

Have a great day.

Blessings, Faith Reaper


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 2 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Frank,

This continuation beautifully delves into motives and dynamics while keeping the tension high. The killing of the wild dog would make any gal see red...and then, who knows?

I will return to Faith's and check out the other endings as schedule permits. Now when I think of sweet Faith and Genna, I will see their 'punk' sides...plenty able to keep up with you, young man. I know Genna will not let us down either and look forward to her stylings.


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 2 years ago from Scotland

You notched the tension right up with this one. The preceding hub left us feeling for the poor girl, in this one I was really routing for her to get away. It was although you could almost feel her fear. Really gripping and tense.


SandCastles 2 years ago

I took up the challenge and posted my ending and you didn't publish it or even let me know you got it. Yet you commented to others. I'm done.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Hey Sandcastle you have to publish it and Ill link it to my fan page :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Uban thanks for visiting my trees..@ Faith no problem my dear @ Marcoujor, thank you for sharing your thoughts and comments on all the endings too :) bless you @ Anna, always good to see you have a fantastic day


Phyllis Doyle profile image

Phyllis Doyle 2 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

Frank, enjoyed reading about Jenny's plight, so took you up on your challenge. I just published Dense Part of the Forest - fate of Jenny Camacho. Hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for the challenge and take care,

Punk


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

I enjoyed ur ending Phyllis Doyle!!!!!


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Hi Frank;

I came up with a twist ending for your story. If no one else comes up with the same idea, I will submit the alternate sometime next week because we’re going to RI for the weekend. Is this too late?

Blessings, and have a wonderful weekend. :-)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Genna Ill be in R.I next week as well..HMMMM.. No I really want to see whats up ur sleeve, I plan to run a favorite alternate ending poll, in about two weeks.. only seeking votes from a couple of fan pages.. and creative writing sources I use so that they can select the best ending.. I will not publish the results.. I am just so curious everyone seems to run with it all on there own.. created their own short story and made Jenny Camacho their own.. believe me.. I didn't expect them to be well more energerized than either one of my Jenny pieces... :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Jenny has certainly developed into a popular and well known character Frank. Maybe you will have to start a series of stories based around her adventures. The girl who always finds herself in difficult situations. I think a poll outside of hub pages is a great idea, because then it's not biased by who may have the most followers etc, but please don't tell us the result either, you need to keep this fun rather than a competition.


SandCastles 2 years ago

So you just deleted my story; thanks. You didn't say in the rules that we had to make the ending into a hub. I don't do story hubs. I took the time to write an ending and wrote it as a response in the comment section and for you to just delete it, wow, thanks.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Thanks, Frank. I took a different tact and approach to my ending. It’s been fascinating to see the different ideas.

I wrote the idea and outline of the ending but will not have time to write the entire story until next week. Thank you for the extension. :-) I also agree with you and Jodah in that this shouldn’t be a competitive endeavor amongst hubbers. I think your decision is very thoughtful.

Just so I understand, we are to continue the story as a continuation of what happens after “Monsters In the Trees,” and, “So she did.” Yes?


Phyllis Doyle profile image

Phyllis Doyle 2 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

Cheers to Jodah and Genna -- I also agree the way you will take the poll for best ending, Frank. We are having so much fun that it would be sad to make it competitive.

I also agree with Jodah on a series for Jenny Camacho. I have a friend who wrote one story on a character that turned into six books (so far) and the series is very successful.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Sands, you'd think I would delete a comment..? wow, thought we had a better understanding. If you think I deleted your comment I'll apologize, but I didn't see your comment or I would have replied to it... Frank :(


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Jodah, Genna and Phyllis thanks for agreeing on the poll..I'm just doing it because I get a lot of folks going from one to the other...Jodah, faith Tobusiness..that made me curious!!! as for a series.. there is her demise remember? LOL you guys have been great bless you


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 2 years ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

Frank, I fully agree with your approach on the poll. We are enjoying reading all the alternative endings and that is enough. No need to make it a competition. As for making Jenny into a series, this is first and foremost your story. Write your own ending that doesn't involve Jenny's demise. That way you can carry on with more stories. Just a thought. No one will mind if you resurrect Jenny from the dead, or from her hawkish incarnation. Thanks again.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Cam, the endings are so good I couldn't dare change or add anything else.. you guys just know how to write period...:)


kidscrafts profile image

kidscrafts 2 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

I can see that I have to visit other hubs to read other endings :-) What a great way to stimulate the mind and connect with other hubbers!

I felt very bad for the dog! The dog was a small ray of hope that was snatched from her!

It's a very nice initiative that you started here! As much as I would like to write my own ending, I know that my English is not good enough for this high caliber challenge. I am way better with paper, paint and brushes :-) But I can totally appreciate the work of others!

Joelle


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

go ahead give it a try Kids.. I bet you'll do just fine :)


SandCastles 2 years ago

Hello Frank,

Well I submitted the story and even edited the story on this page. And since you rejected my comment from one of your other stories (when I wasn't trying to be rude at all), I just assumed that you did it again. It was a good ending (I thought so anyway); a bit funy really.

Sc.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Sand, I dont delete comments.. you're the third person who told me that this week..hmm.. Im sorry if something happened :(


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Hi Dear Frank, that is a great idea to leave this just as a challenge and not a competition, then by us publishing our alternate endings as our own hubs, we get credit for our time spent writing on HP and plus it keeps it fun. In addition, as a bonus to us, you are sending your readers and fans to our HP pages, which may get us more readers in the long run! Thank you for giving us an opportunity to stretch our imaginations and at the same time have fun, especially if it is a genre in which one normally does not write in, like me. By keeping it a challenge and not a competition, it also allows you to, as Cam indicated, keep Jenny alive in your writings or come to the specific ending you so choose, if ever. Blessings and have a great Sunday, Faith Reaper


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Frank, I totally agree with Faith and Cam, now I can publish my version of what happened when Jenny took her revenge. I hope you make this into a series, it was a very enjoyable exercise, thank you for the inspiration.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much Faith..I do agree and thank you for making Jenny come to life via your and everyone who took part in the alternate endings.. and thank you to tobusiness..I had fun watching my creation grow wings so to speak..bless you guys :)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Have a great week, dear Frank!


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Nice Frank, hmmm poor Jenny got to keep running from this psychopath .I see that you have brought out other people's short story skills. I love writing short stories wrote a few on my hubs but i am too weary to even join maybe next time.

Have a wonderful day i am sleep typing now.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

You to dear Faith... and ladyfiddler dont be a chicken... it's like baking a cake.. you can bake a cake..right?


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Great writing and you had my eye reading on a well thought of hub.


cat on a soapbox profile image

cat on a soapbox 2 years ago from Los Angeles

Frank,

Not only have you written 2 very dark and suspenseful stories to enjoy, your challenge has brought out a half-day's worth of writing treasures from other wonderfully talented hubbers. Thank you so much for that pleasure! You've made my day.

All the best,

Cat :)


annart profile image

annart 2 years ago from SW England

Great story! Also a great idea to challenge people to alternative endings. I'm off to try to do just that!

Looking forward to reading more of your hubs as well as others' alternative endings.

Ann


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank DDE for stopping by.. and Cat what a wonderful comment bless you, Ill be visiting your page tonight and checking out your work bless you.. Annart, yes give it a try so many wonderful and creative endings, my mind is still blown :)


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Frank oh please! Of course i can bake a cake I am a TOP CHEF and by the way I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVE ME STRENGTH. Boooooo boooo.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

you go girl..:)


pochinuk 2 years ago

Frank,

"...alternative endings.."

I want to join your well-trained crew here to companion your fine writing. For now, I must hitch on as a caboose, traveling behind...keep making this offer, I am enjoying the tails.

Choo, choo,

-pochinuk


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

lol give it a try I say to the caboose :) thanks for reading my monsters Frank


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 2 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Great beginning to a suspense filled story. I'm eager to read the submissions for alternate endings.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks pegcole17


pochinuk 2 years ago

Frank,

Caboose here...hitched on the train for sure now.

Here it is:

http://pochinuk.hubpages.com/hub/A-Branch-in-The-G...

-pochinuk


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Ill check it out now :)


Betty Niall 2 years ago

Frankie some of the endings to monsters are so good just so you know


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

Betty, they are all so well done.... different but so well done :)


onetouchnewlife profile image

onetouchnewlife 2 years ago from Cemetary

I'm wondering if I could do this even though I'm late to the party. I've been on a one year haitus and this specific blog challenge compelled me to come back.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

give it a try :)


imtii profile image

imtii 2 years ago from Dhaka, Bangladesh

This will be the best story I have read in months. The ending was very interesting Frank! I am giving a thumbs up! I will visit you often! :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you imtii :)


clivewilliams profile image

clivewilliams 2 years ago from Nibiru

never seizes to amaze, good writing frank dear boy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you clive :)


SheGetsCreative profile image

SheGetsCreative 2 years ago from Seattle, WA

great story - don't have it in me to even begin to suggest an ending right now, but enjoyed it and looking forward to reading others' alternate endings.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you shegetscreative


rasta1 profile image

rasta1 2 years ago from Jamaica

Very detailed storytelling. Strong imagination and expressions.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you rasta


ubrish profile image

ubrish 2 years ago from Pakistan(Asia)

Awesome style.keep it Up


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you ubrish


ubrish profile image

ubrish 2 years ago from Pakistan(Asia)

Welcome Frank


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

:) anytime


Akriti Mattu profile image

Akriti Mattu 18 months ago from Shimla, India

Your story amazed me:)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 18 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you akriti


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 17 months ago from Stillwater, OK

Very, very nice descriptions. Literally, fear can make us freeze. You successfully captured that moment and parlayed it into a scene of utter terror. Excellent work.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 17 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you for reading my monsters avian :) and welcome to my pages


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 14 months ago from Dallas, Texas

It's funny that when I was scrolling through your stories that I picked this one to read for a second time. Your use of suspense is truly masterful. Reading it again was just as intriguing as it was the first time. Great tale!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 14 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you again Pegcole :) bless you


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 8 months ago

I guess I am late to this party, but after the voting this May I just may take you up on writing an ending/continuing of this story, unless it is a closed one.

Let me know if the challenge is still on going.

Blessings and hugs.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 8 months ago from Shelton Author

Hi Shyron it's never too late to see different endings... :) Frank


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois

Wow, I was not following you when you issued this challenge. Great story! I just read Shyron's and it was top-notch. I am so far behind, doubt if I can read them all....Another challenge would be fun..Hint!


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 8 months ago

Ruby, Ruby, our gem of a friend

You can continue this I know you can

I thought I was following but missed somehow

That is why I didn't read it till now

So Frank my friend this is where my following you begins


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 8 months ago

P.S. Cindy James sends her regards'.


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 8 months ago from USA

Glad to see this making the rounds again, Frank!


Dana Tate profile image

Dana Tate 8 months ago from LOS ANGELES

I'm sure you are getting many more views after Shyron did such an amazing job continuing your story with her "Flight for Freedom. Both of them are simply amazing.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 8 months ago from Shelton Author

Thank you Shyron for relighting this fire.. LOL and Dana, Flourish and Always bless you guys for stopping by again...:) Frank


wingedcentaur profile image

wingedcentaur 8 months ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

Frank, this is a good, old fashioned, rugged adventure-chase. I like the enigmatic, ambiguous ending. I wouldn't change a thing, to be honest with you.

W.T.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 8 months ago from Shelton Author

winged thanks you're the best :)

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