More Ludicrous Laws In the USA

At the encouragement of two of my favorite hubbers, Elena., the beautiful, peaceful and profound reader/writer from Spain and Cris A, the caffeinated, caring, creative golden guy of the Philippines, I will attempt to do part two on the stupid, dumb and downright ridiculous laws that are still hanging around in these United States of America. I hope you all like it as much as part one!

PS: I stole part of the description of Cris A from Shalini Kagal's post in the Hubber's Hangout, 24 Carat Cris.

By the way, just click on any of the names in blue to have some simply delicious reads!

Food for Thought

Wake up, sleepyhead!
Wake up, sleepyhead!
A popular eating spot in Tennessee
A popular eating spot in Tennessee
Sign posted Sundays in Trenton, NJ
Sign posted Sundays in Trenton, NJ

Foolish Food Laws

Here is good new in today's economy! In both Tennessee and West Virginia it is legal to gather and consume road kill. Wait, did that say road kill!! Do they mean those little animals sleeping on the side of the road? I am not really sure...road kill...grocery bills..which is worse?

I am sure you have all heard of New England Clam Chowder. This is different from Manhattan Clam Chowder which has a tomato based sauce. In case anyone is wondering where Massachusetts stand, here it is...it is illegal in Massachusetts to use tomatoes when making clam chowder. The only state where white is so important you can't make red chowder!

Pickles can be notorious(don't forget the Dill inger gang), so don't eat them in Trenton, NJ on Sundays, it may be as illegal as robbing a bank! People from Connecticut know how to tell a real pickle from a fake. A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces. Keep in mind that if your pickle doesn't bounce do not, I repeat, do not throw it in the street in Trenton, NJ. It is illegal to throw a bad pickle in the street in Trenton.

Great Bouncing Pickles, Batman!

Texas political subdivision sign
Texas political subdivision sign
Uh Oh God, You're in trouble now!
Uh Oh God, You're in trouble now!
My backyard.  Please don't turn me in!
My backyard. Please don't turn me in!
This is a public nuisance!
This is a public nuisance!
OK, who let him out this time?
OK, who let him out this time?
Sunshine, guaranteed to the masses!
Sunshine, guaranteed to the masses!

Nutty Nature Laws

Our government is starting to confuse itself with God. Texas has started a program that gives grants to political subdivisions to modify and change the weather. I did not know we could do this! Do you think they can modify my weather to match Hawaii's?

I wonder who gets the fine when the Arkansas River rises higher than the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. God or the Governor?

Some states tell mother nature what she can grow and where. In Maryland thistles are illegal to grow in your yard. Hard enough, but you can at least cut them down. Pueblo, Colorado has deemed it is illegal to allow dandelions to grow within city limits. I searched through hundreds of photos of Pueblo and did not see one dandelion! I guess the dandelions learned their lesson!  (I sure wish the thistles would.)

Minnesota passed a law stating that all areas where mosquitoes incubate and hatch are public nuisances. Did they say the whole state is a public nuisance? Minnesota is known as the "land of 10,000 lakes"...the word minnesota means water in the language of the Dakota Indians. Do you think there is any place in that state mosquitoes are not incubating and hatching??

How about in Utah, where it is illegal to cause a catastrophe. Here is the law:

Utah: 76-6-105. Causing a catastrophe.

(1) Any person who by explosion, fire, flood, avalanche, collapse of a building, release of poison gas, radioactive material, or other harmful or destructive force or substance, or by any other means, causes a widespread injury or damage to persons or property is guilty of causing a catastrophe.

(2) Causing a catastrophe is a felony of the second degree if the person causes it knowingly and a class A misdemeanor if caused recklessly.

Enacted by Chapter 196, 1973 General Session

Now I understand some of that, but how can you cause a flood?! What other harmful force, Godzilla? The part of this law I really love is that it is a felony if you cause a catastrophe knowingly, and a misdemeanor if caused recklessly. What happens if it was an accident? Do you have to do some type of community service?  I can hear the court case now.  I'm sorry sir, I forgot to close the gate behind me and Godzilla just followed me out.

I think California has it right. Here is a law that gives! In California sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Just keep it outside of city limits!
Just keep it outside of city limits!
Noooo, Not Silly String!
Noooo, Not Silly String!
OK Honey, I'm ready for church.
OK Honey, I'm ready for church.
I guess some people do keep torpedoes in parks!
I guess some people do keep torpedoes in parks!
I wonder if toys are allowed?
I wonder if toys are allowed?

Wacky Weapons Laws

There are some things in life that should go without saying. Such as detonating nuclear devices, who would possibly think this may be OK? Why do so many states have laws about this? Does this mean it is allowed in all the places that don't specifically mention it?

Marlboro, MA has a law against detonating a nuclear device in the city. I suppose step over the city's boundary it is suddenly fine to do?! Chico, CA clearly defines the penalty for detonating a nuclear device in their city. You will be fined $500...what?! I wonder who is alive to fine you, or separate your dust from the others for that matter. At least in Utah it is illegal to detonate a nuclear device in the entire state...I guess they never paid attention in history!

Nuclear devices are one thing, but think of this deadly weapon...the dreaded silly string! I know, I can hear you all wailing in fear...not the silly string, p-p-please, not the silly string! Yes, just like you, these places also fear the dreaded silly string. Marlboro, MA makes the cut again! The two other cities you can feel silly string safe are Southington, CT and Mobile, AL.

Now, how many of you feel an overpowering need to carry a gun to church with you. Sure, in this day and age you read about people opening fire on a church now and again...but does this really make it appropriate to carry your own. In at least 3 states in the Union the answer is YES! Massachusetts states all men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. They do not state why, but hunting is illegal on Sundays there.

Maine and South Carolina state you must bring your shotgun to church in case of an Indian attack. Is that Indian as in India...or Indian as in Native American??? What year are these states living in? In 1792, Columbus sailed the seas of blue...are you living in these states...do you even own a shotgun?

Some states just make you wonder why...why did they feel the need to put these laws in the books. Take Billings, Montana where it is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket to the city council meeting...note to self...never join the city council in Billings.

Who knows what goes on in Destin, FL?! In this city you may not shoot off a torpedo in a park. Interesting...note number 2...never go to the park in Destin!

My favorite? North Andover, MA where it is illegal to use a space gun. And I thought we only had alien problems in Roswell, NM! Why do you suppose it is illegal to use "space guns" in this city. Do they have a deviant alien population, space gunning people down in the streets?

Smile and the Whole World Loves You

Tombstone Dog
Tombstone Dog
Smile
Smile

Silly Smiling Laws

Anthony J. D'Angelo said, "Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of every body's heart." Apparently it is also the key to staying out of jail in Idaho where a person must smile before they go out in public. Wait honey, I'm not ready to go yet. I haven't put on my smile.

In New Jersey you may not frown at a policeman. This must be why people smile and say thanks when they get a ticket. I'd rather be in Michigan. A man may not scowl at his wife on Sunday in Michigan. I bet lots of men go to jail on Sunday's. Imagine...Honey, here is the chores list...But I was watching the big game...Is that a scowl I see on your face...911!

Tombstone, AZ does not say you have to smile, or that you have to frown for that matter. Tombstone just wants to guarantee everyone is on the same playing field. The law states that it is illegal to smile unless you are missing at least one visible tooth. No, no, wisdom teeth don't count. They prefer one of the obvious, right up front teeth where others will notice. The only time you can have a fully toothed smile is if you happen to be under 18 years of age.

Bernard's Township, NJ is one happy place.  The town has been declared a "Frown Free Zone". 

Comments 40 comments

Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

You can't smile unless you're missing a front tooth??!!  Can I just paint it black and pretend?

And I bet an angry wife helped to write the law about driving a car with the husband in front of it with a flag.


Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley 7 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

Hard to believe some people actually have the time to make laws like this, let alone request them. I mean really. Great hub. There's millions of them out there. You could do a whole series.


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

And you should! [In all that spare time of yours :-)]


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

. . . but it's ok to have a space gun in South Carolina (where I live), I hope? I mean, I know I can take a handgun to church, and I don't need a permit for a gun if I buy it privately; so if I buy a space gun privately but don't take it to church, is that all right? Wait, now, I'm getting confused: did it mean that if I have a gun in South Carolina, I HAVE to shoot at Indians? in church?


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Oh my jolly good almighty eyes!  All that can't be true, my beer must have had ...something in it!  I'm peeing in the very chair I'm sitting on!  I've needed three goes to finish reading, first stop was at the bouncing pickle, second stop at the weather changing capabilities of the Texas Gov, and the third was Utah and the catastrophes!  Then I just went away 'cause I just couldn't read through the hysteria, and came back after a while all serious and presentable and read the rest all in one go, all the while laughing like a hyena!  Very unsexy of me!

k@ri, you were very kind to me! Heck, I almost clicked on submit without saying a big THANK YOU for being such a good sport with me and Cris, but it's just your fault with this hilarious hub!  Thanks for the laughs –and for making me sound like a total DORK to all my neighbors! Laugh


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Oh, wait, there are more stupid laws down there!  Geez!  Do I really want to read them now?  I think my pretty little heart can't take more!

And BTW, I guess I won't be making an apperance in Tombstone, AZ, any time soon!  Laugh!


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

"Pennsylvania: Housewives may not hide dirt or dust under the rug"  PHEW! Aren't I glad that I don't live anywhere near Penn!

"Florida: you may not shower naked"  DITTO! (on the other hand, however, that may save on laundry!)

Jezuuus, I just can't figure out how all these are possible!  I'm gone now, honest!  Elena shuts up and goes to bed now!  Laugh!


Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom 7 years ago from West Coast

These are hilarious! I just wonder if taxpayers' money went to help create these laws and what got them started. I cannot imagine that there was such a problem where there were too many bad pickles in the street where this law had to be made. Lol.


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Proud Mom, Maybe blacking it out would work, if you didn't let anyone too close!

Frieda, Yes this is what they use our taxes for!

Teresa, Since you have to bring a gun to church with you, I think a space gun would give you the most choices. Probably work against Indians, aliens and maybe even the devil...nothing like a little multi-tasking!

Elena, You seem to lose it in the same places I did! My favorite was causing a catastrophe...recklessly. I however, I am also glad I don't live in PA! I would like to find out how much of my hard earned money is going to changing the weather! Thanks for having so much fun & I was trying to make you sound very nice!! :)


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Triplet Mom, Have you ever been to Trenton, NJ? No really, last time I was there I don't recall seeing one pickle on the street...then again...I know!...I bet the law was already in effect.


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

LMAO how practical -- a multitasking space gun -- that's even funnier than some of these laws,

OH I realllly needed that laugh! Thank you so much


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Your welcome! I needed my daughter to translate LMAO, I like that one!


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

fantastic hub! Roasted squashed fox, anyone?


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Thanks LondonGirl! You weren't by any chance a chef at the Roadkill Grill in another life?


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

So I wasn't the only one who has had to ask for traslation on this "text talk"!!


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

We captured an injured possum in our backyard once and took it to the Texas Wildlife Rehabilitation rescue place in our city only to find out that one cannot transport a wild animal without a special permit.

The rationale behind it is that IF the possum had babies and she was moved, the babies could die (according to the wildlife rehab folks).

Now.......I can just see getting pulled over by the police and them asking us "Are you illegally transporting any wild animals today?"

LOVED the bouncing pickle law!!!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Proud Mom, I was lucky my daughter was right next to me, or I would have been clueless! :)

Peggy, Did they not take the possum? Doesn't a possum's babies live on it? First in the pouch, then on her back? I'm pretty sure that's correct.

Imagine the headlines: Woman jailed for illegal transport of wild animals

Seems as if there is a giant pickle conspiracy out there, we should all be dropping them before eating them to make sure they are real! LOL


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

Yes Kari, they took the injured possum. They simply warned us of the law. That was a full grown possum and no babies were in evidence. Yes....the babies are usually close by the mother as you indicated.

Another time we found a lone baby possum that was all by itself. Had obviously been dropped by a bird of prey into our back yard. Took that one to the rehab place also.

Another time a baby squirrel that had been injured and was found in our front yard was rescued by us. We met a lady that took the baby squirrels from the shelter and took them into her home until they could be released. Interesting person! Had to feed those babies every 3 to 4 hours! She had cages inside her house and also outside on her patio.

The ones that were closer to being released back into the wild were in the cages outside where the wild squirrels in the neighborhood could come up to the ones in the cages.

The "squirrel lady" spent her own money purchasing pounds of produce, etc. each week from the grocery stores. When we were invited to visit her and the squirrel that we had rescued, we took a large care package of lettuce, carrots and other things she recommended. I do not even remember all the things that she regularly purchased to keep them fed and healthy as that was many years ago. She devoted her life to saving these cute little furry rodents. She even had a flying squirrel in her incubator the day we visited.


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Peggy, I'm glad they took them in! The "squirrel lady" sound like a very kind person :)


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Hi k@ri, good morning! Just came back to report what would be a fellony in the State of Florida: I took a shower quite naked this morning! Laugh!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Good morning Elena! You naught girl...I hope you didn't get caught!


mamakaren 7 years ago

I'm going into hiding and assuming an alias! I've broken way too many of these laws in too many different states!!

k@ri, there must be a law against writing such a funny hub!


skydiver profile image

skydiver 7 years ago from UK

Only in America! The USA has some crazy laws :)


Gail S profile image

Gail S 7 years ago

How WONDERFULLY funny, K@ri! Thanks for making me laugh so hard. I had no idea there were so many of these laws! What a great hub. I agree with Frieda, a series of these hubs would be great!!


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

I'd better warn my aunt and uncle who live part of the year in Florida that they are in danger of breaking the law. Of course.......catching them in the "act of showering naked"........who exactly would that be? Hopefully husbands cannot testify against their wives and vice versa. Ha!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

mamakaren, Have you been throwing bad pickles in the road again? Or, was it that time you forgot to bring your guns to church? Maybe you can write a hub on how to go into hiding and acquiring an alias?? :)

Skydiver, Yea, I guess we're the only ones stupid enough to give the government enough money to waste our time in this way! LOL! Maybe they just do it for our entertainment?

Thanks Gail! Maybe with my new schedule I can spend more time on that :)

Peggy, I'd agree! Hopefully they can plead the 5th! Either that, or they will have to shower together so that one cannot rat the other out!!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

Wow. This hub should serve as a reference guide for crazy laws. Dill inger, ha.

If someone detonates a nuclear device in Marlborough, who will be left to arrest him? And since there will no longer be a Marlborough, will the law still apply?

I could never be a lawyer.


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Tom, It is one of those profound questions, like, if a tree falls in the wood and no-one hears it...Hopefully we will never discover the answer :) Thanks for reading!


BristolBoy profile image

BristolBoy 7 years ago from Bristol

A bit weird but in the UK there are people who eat roadkill! Some actually go out of their way just to find some to take home and make a meal out of!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

BristolBoy, Well, you know what they say about recycling...I guess? Grocery bills or road kill...hmmm


MindField profile image

MindField 7 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Absolutely hilarious! I'm going to come back and read it all when I have a little more time. Meanwhile, I think I'll go outside and threaten the dandelions.


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Thanks MindField! Tell them that you'll send them to Pueblo if they don't behave!


Tom Koecke profile image

Tom Koecke 7 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

Dang, there go my plans for inviting you to Jackson!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

Hi Tom! Guess you'll have to think up something else :D


Tom Koecke profile image

Tom Koecke 7 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

I heard an ad on the radio that says in Natoma, Kansas it is illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits. Kansas doesn't seem to have that law making it illegal to seduce a woman by promising to marry her.

I thought we could meet in Natoma, Kansas and elope. I'll be the guy wearing the striped suit!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

I've never heard of Natoma, Kansas...isn't that in Oz somewhere?


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

This is really really good. Haha you are so darn clever to think of this, a huge thumbs up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( I am not gay )


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

LOL...LOL...we all cracked up as I read these out loud...thanks so much! :)


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California Author

blondepoet, Thanks, I'm glad you got a laugh! (LOL-me neither)

Tom, I'm very happy to give you all a laugh! They were too silly not to share :D


DrPPoorluk profile image

DrPPoorluk 5 years ago from NH

Wow! These are unreal. I guess the longer people are paid to sit around and create law, the more time they have to make dumb ones.

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    Here are more Stupid Laws!

    Here are more stupid laws, if you care to read them.

    Laws about men

    Mississippi: a man may not seduce a women by lying and saying he'll marry her.

    Minnesota: all men driving motocycles must wear a shirt.

    Michigan: no man may seduce of corrupt an unmarried girl or he may get 5 years in prison.

    Florida: Men may not be seen in public in strapless gowns

    Walnut, CA: a male must obtain a special permit from the sheriff to dress as a female

    Haddon, NJ: cross dressing is illegal. also: Ironton, OH

    Hartford, CT: a man may not kiss his wife on Sunday.

    LA, CA: A man can beat his wife with a strap as long as it's width is 2" or less. She must consent before he can beat her with a strap wider than 2"


    Arkansas: A man can legally beat his wife once a month.

    South Carolina: a man can legally beat his wife on the courthouse steps on Sundays. also West Virginia

    Stafford County, VA: legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps as long as it is earlier than 8pm

    And they would deny me this?
    And they would deny me this?
    Bet she doesn't sweep dust under the rug!
    Bet she doesn't sweep dust under the rug!

    laws about women

    In Montana it is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.

    Montana: Illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sunday; illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at any time

    Missouri: 4 non-related women may not live in the same dwelling.

    Michigan: a woman may not cut her hair without asking her husband's permission

    Vermont: Women must have written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

    Virginia: it is illegal to tickle a woman

    Tennessee: it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date


    New Orleans, Louisiana: A woman cannot drive a car unless her husband walks in front of it waving a flag.

    Memphis Tennessee: woman cannot drive a car unless a man walks or runs in front of it waving a red flag to warn people.  Also Waynesboro, VA

    Tucson AZ: Women may not wear pants

    Ohio: Women may not wear patent leather shoes in public

    California: Women may not drive cars in their housecoats.

    Kentucky: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission

    Pennsylvania: Housewives may not hide dirt or dust under the rug

    animal laws

    Minnesota: Policemen must kill any cat found running at large, or in alley, street of other public place.

    Massachusetts: You may not have a gorilla in the back seat of your car

    Destin Florida: any cat who chases a person in a vicious or terrorizing manner will be deemed a "bad cat".

    Key West Florida: chickens are a "protected species"

    You may not keep a pig in Miami Beach.

    This is what they do to "bad" cats in Destin, FL
    This is what they do to "bad" cats in Destin, FL

    Laws about Bathing

    Indiana: you may not take a bath from Oct to March

    Barre, VT: everyone must bathe every Saturday night

    Massachusetts: It is illegall to go to bed without first taking a full bath.

    Boston Mass: No more than 2 baths may be taken within city limits; You may not take a bath on Sunday; you need a prescription to take a bath

    Minnesota: all bathtubs must have feet

    Missouri: you may not have a bathtub with feet resembling animal paws

    You may not keep a donkey in your bathtub: Georgia, Arizona

    South Carolina: Can't keep a horse in the bath tub

    Arkansas:  can't keep an alligator in the tub

    Florida: you may not shower naked

    Pennsylvania: you may not sing in the bath

    More by this Author


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